Post Secret Archive

How do I upload my secret?? QWhats a verifiction code?

Maybe I still love him…after 10 years and never once going on a date…

Very nice site :} I’ve become addicted to reading the PostSecrets.
Also, I’d like to add some feedback about the secret uploader–It won’t work for me. ): Pretty sure an image code is required to appear, but it just won’t!. I’ve tried with two different browsers but still it’s no use. I’d be very grateful if someone could help me with this, since I too wish to share my secrets.

Regards.

hell would be better than you still ignoring me…
come one, its been a year.
i’ll do it.

I hit on a girl while I was high and thought she was hot.
Now I wonder if that makes me bisexual.

I wonder whether I am in love with my best friend. Maybe I’m not. Maybe I’m just lonely. I try to ignore it.

I don’t trust my boyfriend because I don’t trust myself….

Hi,

To those who were having problems uploading your secrets previously, this has now been fixed, sorry about that.

I look forward to putting your secrets up on the site!

im not in love with you anymore…im in love with who we used to be

i have secretly suffered from anorexia for several years, and it sickens me to look at myself…sad thing is i still think im too fat…

You are the love of my life and I know in my heart I will never truly forgive you for cheating on me. I think I stayed with you because I didn’t want you to be with her and I think you stayed with me because she wouldn’t be with you. I pray that I will stop feeling this way

Everyday I wish you were with me.

My roommate is so mean, and has her bf at our dorm all the time..textes me to knock before I come In to our dorm frequently…has the room smelling like ass cuz of their constant rabbit fucking. She doesn’t socialize to anyone but her bf… is rude to my friends that come and say hello to me. Pretty much she’s the roommate from hell. Because of this I started talking shit about her to people…and pretty much making her look really bad. Im starting to feel really lousy….cuz trying to take the mature route and try to talk to her hasn’t worked, and because there’s that horrible stigma in the air I have come to have a need of an outlet (which is trash talking). So yea…I talk crap about her all the tim to everyone…dats my dirty little secret…

i wish she would love me, ive seen her be with so many douche’s and she still hasnt thought of how great i have been to her all these years D:

I don’t understand where we went wrong….
my father left my mom and I for nothing..and now she is doing it to me?

I hate everyone i hang out with, but i hang out with them because they follow my every command.

i have fallen in love with my best friend… over the phone

It must be true that I hate myself. I hate the way I look even though I look good. I think I’m fat just cause I don’t have a six pack. I think i’m ugly if I get a spot of acne. I’m afraid the things I say sound stupid. I’m afraid people won’t like me at my new school. I’m afraid that I’ll never find a girlfriend. I’m afraid that I’ll never make it in life.

Maybe I’m just afraid.

I feel I’ll be alone forever. I’m almost 30 and still haven’t had a child or have been married yet. It’s all I’ve dreamnt of since I was a teenager.

i know my boyfriend is my one true love .but when we first got together i was still sleeping with my ex for the first three months mainly because i felt bad for him . i cried every time. ive also kissed two other guys since ive been with him i just got out of highschool and i know i want to do whatever it takes to be with him forever and i would never do it again. I kissed one of those boys about three months ago it wont go away i think about it all the time.. will someone please forgive me so i can forgive myself..

I forgive you! …my secret is that i use names i find on here to post my secrets so no one knows who i am

Me too!! glad im not the only one

my boyfriend is my true love! i would never do anything to hurt himeven tho i have in the past. I LOVE YOU

Im in love with Jesus Christ, so in love with him , that sometimes i cant control expressing that love and i think people think im weird or fake because of it. but really his love is just amazing

i’m afraid that everyone will know that i cry each night for the friends i lost and for the girls i loved… and most important that i cry to try to leave the past behind…but now i realised i never will…(when i wrote this ..i cried…)

I love you more than the girl i was with for over two years…. Because your the only person who ever made me feel like i was worth anything… and even though i know you’ll never want to be with me… ill still always be waiting … just in case

my roomate is an asshole and gay. I don’t which i hate him more for.

i don’t want to be with you anymore. it was better when you were gone. i miss the idea of us, the old us. you made promises and had no intention of keeping them. if i could find a way to leave i would. not because you are abusive or evil-just because you don’t care enought to try.
i blame myself for your pain. i hate that i’m not stronger.

They say you never forget your first love… I hope I don’t still think of you when I’m married with children. But as much as I hate missing you, I love thinking about you.

im fourteen and ive tried to kill myself three times, my parents and friends still don’t know…

everytime i see you, im on anti-depressants.

i hate my friends. they all think they know me, but they have no idea of what i
go through because of what they say and do.

My boyfriend is five years older than me.
I’m lying to him about my age.
My biggest fear is that he’ll eventually find out my real age,
and leave me the older, prettier girl that he deserves.

i think im in love with him…

I’m leaving.
I’m terrified.
I don’t know why.

I am in love with my ex, completely. I feel stupid for it; I am 16 & he is 18. we are seeing eachother atm but I know it hardly means a thing t him when its everything to me. He is going to change and leave me, hes probably bored of me already. I know this. Everyone reckons I am just a shag, which I dont think I am but the more they say it thw worse I feel.
He has been by me for a year
I dont like myself when we arent together he knows me better then anyone else and hes the only thing in the world who makes me feel significant.
I wish we were grown up enough just to be together
thats all I want
not money
not stupid parties or drunken kisses
not great success
just us

I hate myself
I can’t stand who I am…..
I finally got help because my mom found out…
She didn’t know the half of it.
Yesterday I “graduated” from therapy.
I don’t cut anymore…. Although I did when I forgot to take my meds
I became overwhelmed with everything all at once and I couldn’t figure out why.
I realized the next day why everything suddenly seemed hopeless and now I feel worse. I hate the fact that I need medication to be happy, and to not kill myself right now at this moment… what’s wrong with me? I keep telling myself that it’s not my fault, that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain… but how long can I keep that up?
I’ve always been larger than my sister… and my mom, so I used to attempt to starve myself. I finally stopped for a while, but started working out and for once I’m finally smaller than my sister and mom. Everyone couldn’t believe how “good” I looked and asked me how I did it. They were all so surprised and told me I looked great. I finally felt a little better about myself. Now however I hate myself, I can’t stand myself… I hurt myself everyday to feel physical pain other than the emotional crap in my head. Only ate dinner yesterday…. I had to, my parents were watching….

my boyfriend hung out with his ex girlfriend today,
and i found out from a friend, that hes cheated on every
girfriend hes ever had, im so scared that hes going to cheat on me,
and realize that his ex girlfriend is perfect for him. im never going to
tell him whats really the matter, but i dont think i can stand having thoughts
of whats going to happen… im sure that im going to do something very
bad to hurt myself if he does…

Hes going to be executed.

She has never been found.

The police dont know its was me.

I dont care.

They deserve it.

I didnt know i could be this betrayed…
especially by a friend.
we were close for years.
what gaver her the nerve to do such a thing.

All of my friends think im over him but secretly i still miss him. I still have to stop myself from crying. somehow i feel that ill never get over it

I love looking passerby’s directly in the eye and wonder what they think of me. For a second they are all that captivates my mind.

well bub its been three years minus the occasional fling since we ended our affair but i still think about you every day. remember that story from a magazine i told you about that guy who had the off and on affair with his sister on law for thirty years before they were finally together, i wish so bad for that to be us i would tell you face to face but im not so sure you still wish the same thing……i hope our timing was just wrong????? or maybe im just a dreamer?????

I waited until I found the perfect guy, the one I knew I was going to marry to have sex. He gave me genital herpes. He’s the only person I’ve been with. It was all for nothing.

I dont know if you read these or not, but i know you love this site… i hope you read this, whether you know its me or not.

I love you more then life itself, and i wish so much that it could be the way it used to be, how fun it was, how fun it still is when you make time for me… how fun last night was, even though we were helping move, even though it was cold, and i was tired… but when you were laying next to me, i wanted to scream out this pain, and tell you how i feel! look at the fun! look at the emotion, i can feel it coming off of you… but im too afraid of pushing you farther into the shadows… pookie… im sorry that i let you fall

I hate myself for losing you… i read everyones comments and cried… im still crying… i think i know what to get for your b day… she doesnt deserve you, i dont even deserve you, but atleast ill really love you and not kick you out of the house…

I really wish that i would have died that night we broke up… it would have been alot easier then dealing with this pain, sometimes i still think about doing it… how fun it would be… but im scared… im so afraid of everything… i want to find a corner and cry…

how do you know me so well? how can you always tell what i am thinking? how, my love, how?

I play ‘live and you win’ with myself.
I take a few of my anti-depressants and drink til I pass out.
If I wake up, I win.

Oh, btw, you fucked my friend over.
I will be the cause of your death.
As soon as you get home.

after my father committed suicide when i was four. his parents forgot about me for years. now they want me back in their lives. they write me letters all the time. i never return any. i want them to feel the pain they made me feel over the past ten years. and at the same time i want nothing else but to hug them.

i’ve had an eating disorder for the past two years. my mother has found puke in the tiolet and noticed me going days without eating. and threatened to send me to treatment. i never admitted to having this disorder. but she still finds it alright to this day to comment about my body and weight.

It was summer love. Except for the fact that I never talked to him once, I don’t know his name, and I only saw him three times in the hotel I was staying at for a week in July. I’ve never stopped thinking about him since then that week in July. It’s now OCTOBER.

I would like to send it post. How do I do that?

i only want to move back because of you. i think i’m falling– or better yet– i’ve fallen. too bad you might find someone else before i come back for you. ultimate heartbreak.

i made out with the guy i likes friend. no, we did even more than that. i dont know how much he knows we did. im afraid that the only person that has made me happy in a long time is going to leave me for the mistake i made when i was scared he didnt like me. i guessed wrong.

how can i just post a secret….
not upload it….

.

We were together for less than 2 months
but she was my first,
…
4 months later, it still hurts to hear it all::
I was a secret.
…
It hurts.

I want a handbook to how to get passed the first heartbreak.
It’s making me close up to other opportunities…
God, I hate how you have so much power over me

She’s with someone else now.
She was with someone else then.
She was with someone when she was with me.

I hate people taller then me and i am 6 foot 4

i cheated on you three times and would have more if you didnt break up with me for different reasons. you should of never forgiven me.

I know people aren’t good for me, but i still pursue them anyway.

My family thinks I’m full of myself, but thats only because they like to bring me down so much that the only way to over come my insecurities is to be cocky.

I hate the fact that all you talk about is sex, and I hate that I actually care about you, and you really don’t really care what I do or who I do it with. Stop being so proud.

I love you so much, that when I’m with my friends, I can’t stop myself from checking the time and counting the hours until I get to see you.

my soul has met its other half
and for a second i thought he knew it too
but then i realized he’s too in love with his ex to realize anything anymore.
i hate this girl i’ll never know because she’s still destroying the most beautiful soul i’ve ever met.
i wish there was something i could do to realize that she’s not the one for him, because i’m right here.

1) i hate me
i hate that i sleep around
i hate that im insecure
but what i hate the most is that everyone knows this and i dont have the strength to tell them myself
Or justify it
sometimes it makes me cry and sometimes it makes me angry and it wont go away

2) Sometimes it hurts so bad that your not here and i dont know why, i hate that i didnt see you for a whole year b4 u died and i hate that it was your fault and i hate myself for saying that! i hate that the person i loved couldn’t look at me without seeing you in me. but for being my best friend for two years the love and admiration i still have 4 you is astounding and i can only dream of being the sort of person you were.
Im scared that your disappointed in me. XxX

when did life turn from a promise to a threat?

He says we’re still together…
And I’m only happy when he’s around..

..He moved out 2 weeks ago..

He needs to know ill always be there and i love him with all my heart. just because he left me doesnt mean ill leave him, he made me promise to never leave him no matter what, and i love him that much. i know he doesnt want to do this. im here when hes ready.

i have a boyfriend, i love him, but we’ve never met in person. i think he’s fake. everything he’s told me about himself and what he has, is a lie, i think.

I’m a 30 year old Church going man, and I want to suck my coworker JD’s dick hardcore.

he’s spending the next five days at his new girlfriend’s dorm.
i’m spending the next five days wishing i didn’t care.

We were friends. She died. I wanted to marry her. Her parents didn’t know my name.

i dont know how to make myself happy.

i have multiple secrets so stay with me

-people don’t change, they just find new ways to lie you
-sometimes i wish i was older so i could take my younger brother away from this, he’s so innocent he doesn’t need to see the fights, lies, and the pain
-I miss how everything was so innocent when your younger
-i wish my eyes would shine bright and full of innocence instead of lies and deception
-life would be so much easier if i was skinnier, prettier, and smarter
- i’m a perfectionist and a horrible one at that because I can’t fix my cracks
-i wonder what would happen if i let people in
- i’m afraid to trust because it’s been broken to many times
- i wish people would seee the real me
- i think anything to do with alcohol is repulsing
- i want someone to take me away from this life
- i wish my mom would stop acting 21
- i wish i didn’t feel alone in a room full of people
- if only i didn’t lie so much and told the truth……….
- i stalk people to pretend i’m not dying on the inside
-i wish i could take back all the thing i did, but now he’s dead and i miss daddy
- i hide behind a mask because the real me is lost
- i wish i wasn’t such a good actress
- i want the pain i inflict on people to go away
- i want to do something about the screams and the bruises from the basement but i’m too afraid
-i need to stop making promises i cant keep
- i’ve thought about suicide so many times
maybe everything would be easier if i was dead too

I can’t open up to people i know but all of these are the truth about me, and it’s not lies, but if u ever found out who i am, i would lie to u in person, because i don’t know wat to do

i did not want to appear as a homophobe in front of all my very gay friends when you told me that you wanted me. so i turned you down in the most civil way i could think of. now we’re friends and you believe that we share a platonic love. you’ve moved on and have fallen in love with someone else. i told you i was happy for you. but what you don’t know is that it pains me so much every time i see you hurting because of her, and that i’ve been finding myself constantly questioning my sexuality. i think i feel something for you. actually, i’m almost sure that i do. i’m just afraid to let it further sink in. because then, i know i would lose you.

I just want to clear everything on what you have said.

Everything you’ve said was for your own sake only and not accepting all my views.

When did you try to listen to my feelings? I mean listen deeply not just to listen!

How can you said that “I think u really don’t love me”. Have u realized when u said that to me? I’ve done so many things just to please you and make you happy!! “You cannot feel the love I’m giving you with anyone else than me” As if u did something to make me happy. With what? By meeting me and doing something because you are not a free person so I should know all the consequences? Why don’t you think on the other way around, am I the only person who will sacrifice everything for you, just to make you happy?! Remember that I am not the only one here in this relationship that you always forget. I am not the only one here that should know all the consequences! You made me feel this way not anyone else. They were just added to my emotions. And what?! U said that you will wait until I realized that its my fault? So funny.. yeah u didn’t do anything, it was ALLLLLLLL my fault!!

I made myself happy just because of me, because I love you. You were just there if you need me and want me. That’s all. U never want to talk to me, I was the one who asked for your attention. I was the one who is running over you. I was the one who kept on talking just to make me happy. Just because I love you. Did you know that? Or are you busy to care?… Oh yeah, U are a busy person, so why should u care..

You don’t like how I think?.. Because I built so many issues that isn’t true.. But u were the one who made me this issues to make me think. Haven’t u forgot what u have said? U want to say things just to make me think.

You said u we’re hurt? Why don’t u show it to me? Or u we’re just saying that just to make me feel bad but it wasn’t true. Actions are different from words, remember that always. U always say things but different from your actions.

Until now u don’t know why is this happening? And u doesn’t know why this happened.

Well for your information, I wanted you to realize how much I hurt by doing this to me. Just make a little effort to make me happy, to feel loved and to feel someone’s care. I wanted to feel important. Isn’t hard for you? I wanted you to realize that it’s not only me here in this relationship, you and me!!! Don’t let me do this alone!! Don’t let me feel like this!!! Still hard for you?… Or are u still busy to care?!!!!

I’m writing a fantasy book so I can imagine that I can fly.

you told me you loved me.
it was all a lie.
i was just the rebound.
you never cared.
you loved her all along.

I’m a junior high student and I tell people that I want to be a therapist when I’m older only because I know that that job would be easy for me to do.
For some time I actually thought that being a therapist would be a good job for me, but then I heard him.

I found out that he was from a popular band from another country, and his music inspired me.

I’m going find my voice, and someday stand on the same ground with him.

I know he’ll wait for me to catch up. (:

I want to hold his hand

I hate most of my family

I know how good everything I do is

I will never love any one else as much as I love my dog

I don’t think any one really understands what it’s like here

I don’t mind listening

I wish I could take it seriously

I know I’m fat, but I don’t want to do anything to change it

I want to love, but I cant

I wish I was Edie Beale

I’m as selfish as they come, but you’ll never know

I’m nothing to be proud of

I only like them because they pay attention to me

I’ll listen to you, but I’ll be thinking about myself

There’s nothing I would like better than for every one to know that this was me.

I help everyone else, so nobody can see how much i hate myself inside.

I always wish and wait for something big to happen, so i can use it as an excuse for being screwed up.
Im more screwed than i should be, yet not enough.
i want something big to happen so people will finally realise theres something up with me, and not overlook me as the one who helps everyone else who is always happy.
i help others and be the “decent person” who everyone loves, who never finds love.
and “noone can think why” yet, i can think of 39730456908365903 reasons.

My brother, who is 7 years older than me, used to come into my room and play “games with me”.
I used to pretend to be asleep sometimes.
yet also liked “these games” i shouldnt have liked them, and this is why i cant hate him, as i didnt complain.
i was 4 or 5. and this was the age i gave my first hand and blo-job.
i have told 2 people. and now they think im wierd for still liking my brother.

and sometimes, i think maybe its me making it up in my head.
and that it never happened. afterall, we both still act like normal..
its abit annoying really.

As I kicked the cat out of my car, I realized it was the closest thing to her mother that she had. . . who was dead.

it really annoys me when people complain about their petty problems!! it annoys me even more when they think that killing themselves will cure it!! THATS THE COWARD’S WAY OUT. LIFE IS TOUGH, YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH IT!!! I dont care if you say im being harsh, im just being truthfull. there are so many things to smile about in this life, grow a pair of balls people.

There is so much I want to say and no one to say it to So here it is
I was molested
I feel very out of place in my family and the town I grew up in
I hate school – but I do it for my parents
I am completely in love with my best friend
I harbor much resentment against my mother
Any friend I have had my entire life has turned their back on me at one point or another
I dont even do anything that exhausting – but I sleep like 15 hours a night
I have been on antidepressants since I was 14
I have considered suicide – but I know thats not the answer
I think my mom is mentally unstable
My mom loves my sibling more then she loves me
I was beat as a child by my mother
I feel as if noone will ever love my body – so how can I date?
I am afraid of men
I hate my body
Some days I hate myself
Other days, I like who I turned out to be
I am anti-establishment
I am pro-gay marraige
I am pro-abortion
and yes, mom, I kiss girls – fairly often.
Sometimes I just want to say FUCK YOU to the world. So there. FUCK YOU.
I am always there for my friends but they are never there for me.

I am a girly girl – but i pick my nose all the time and eat it. and i masturbate all the time to weird porn

i was tooken way from my mom when i was 10 as well as my 5bros and sis they let me and 3 or my siblings come home 1 of them we didnt want and the other my 5yrs old brother couldnt come i had to watch him scream out our name as we left him at the human services place now that image is stuck in my head im now 20 and i cant forget him i think of him everyday i wanna find him and contact him but im scared he might not remember me or my family or he if he does that he might not want anything to do with usBUT IT WASNT OUR FAULT

There are quite a few..sorry
- I got depressed when I got into my dream Ivy…it’s the end of my first semester and I still have no idea why I’m here
- I don’t know if I won’t call it molestation but 3 of my cousins had me do sexual favors for them. I ate a girl out at 5 or 6 and gave a blow job at 11. I’ve never told anyone this. ever.
- I feel like I always need to be “on” and funny and exciting or else I’d have no friends.
- I don’t hate my father for cheating on our family anymore but sometimes I wish he’d get into a car accident. It’d be just and the attention would be nice.
- I told my best friend that I was okay with her having a girlfriend but I still don’t know if I am. It’s been almost a year.
- My first “real” kiss was a random hookup with a guy I knew for about 10 mins and will probably never see again.
- I act like I don’t care or that I don’t want to ruin our friendship but really, I’m afraid of rejection.
- I’ve done naughty things with my dog and peanut butter.
- Sometimes, I hate my friends.
- Oftentimes, I hate myself.

Sometimes I wish I had gone to theraphy.

Sometimes I wish I had gone to therapy.

Everyone knows why he stayed with you.
He was leaving you, we were in love.
We are in love, but I will not take him.
I won’t ruin your family, I only wished he loved you.
Like he loved me, maybe, then you could raise the baby in a loving family.
I’ve seen the way he treats you, it’s because you trapped him.
It’s no excuse. He yells, sleeps around, and uses you.
I am truly sorry, I wish you would leave him.
For both you and my nephew.

He’s a slut, we were practically family. I fell in love with him, he didn’t like me back. He fell in love with me, I still loved him. I fucked it up, instead he just held me all night. I wished I had done something, I’m sorry. He got her pregnant on accident, while he was still courting me. I feel guilty whenever we hang out, because I know we still are in love. He was leaving her when she told him she was pregnant, I blame her for stealing the first man that I have ever loved. I cry to this day when I think about how sweetly he held me, and how I didn’t say a thing. Here it is. . I love you. I fear it’s too late, so I’ll take this secret to the grave. The only reason I don’t kill myself is I can see how your son makes you happy. Seeing you happy, makes me happy. <- A sappy teenage love story.

i hate myself for being a slut. i can’t stop. i don’t plan on doing anything, but i drink to much. ive cheated on my boyfriend so many times that i don’t remember. he deserves someone better. i want to start over and be good, but i don’t think i can forgive myself for what i’ve already done.

i think im bipolar but im afraid my friends will think im a freak!!

It’s sad that 7 months later, after all the pain you put me through and the way you hate me now, that I still get constant reminders of you.. like seeing our “anniversary number” everywhere and sadly, I would take you back in a heart beat.

you promised that we’d be together next year
i couldnt wait
because i just needed some time.
you said you were willing to wait
cause you loved me so much.

but you didnt mean that.
because now your moving
you dont want to be with me
but instead
your with her.

your becoming a whole new person
and i hate who your becoming.

you were the one person
that i felt right with.
you balanced us out.
when i was get anxious about something
you calmed me down.

you were so good.
i’d do anything to be your new girlfriend
even though i have a new amazing boyfriend.
but he doesnt treat me like you did
he never will.

god i wish we would be together.

i’d do literally anything.
please come back.

please.

I don’t think I can happily keep a boyfriend for more than 6 months without getting bored, no matter how perfect they are.

I’m secretly in love with my best friend but she can never be anything more than a friend

You’ll never know how much you meant to me because in reality you never cared.

I’ve been hurt emotionally so much that my heart can no longer keep love. It beats only for that one person that broke it in the first place. I used to be such an amazing person and since the time my heart stopped beating, I’ve been contemplating suicide. I know it leads me straight to hell but hell would be better than what I’m living with right now. But even though you killed me inside, I still want every part of you even if it means sharing you with my best friend who you left me for. I don’t care because I still love you.

My mother has done so much damage to me that i don’t think i will ever have a relationship i want with someone. I’ve secretly been dating my ex of over a year and we are truly in love with each other but She hates him more than anything and this puts one of the biggest strains ever on our relationship. i FEEL LIKE I’VE LOST MY CHILDHOOD AND HAVE BEEN FORCED TO GROW UP QUICKER THAN I SHOULD HAVE. She will never know how many times i’ve taken scissors to my wrist or how many times i’ve contemplated taking pills-again. The best part is that i’m still in high school……

I’ve wanted to tell someone for so long how much it kills me everytime I see you. I want to tell someone how good it feels to cut a little deeper each time. I want to tell someone my deepest darkest secrets. I have one person I truly trust in the world and I feel like I’m going to lose her..because she is as hurt as I am. It kills me to know that she has been hurt, not even by somebody else, but her own family, her mother who is supposed to love their child endlessly. But her mother has cut her down and it kills me to know that I am more of her family than her blood. I am her best friend, her confidante and her sister. I hope she knows that. =)

I feel like if my dad was still here, he’d be extremely disappointed with me. Worst of all, I’m afraid of what he sees what I do in my room, alone, when he’s watching over me.

Never laughing, Never crying, Never living, Never Dying….It kills me to know that you won’t ever be there again. I still love you but you don’t love me and I don’t care. And I hate it when I see you laughing when I know I can’t and right now you’re standing right in front of me but you don’t look at me, you never will, because I don’t matter. But I still love you and would do anything to get you to notice me again. The only thing keeping me from slitting my wrists or downing the bottle of pills, is the thought of my sister alone in this horrible world full of horrible people. But it’s getting harder not to do it and when I cry its cuz I want to end it all.

I’ve wanted to talk to a therapist again becasue of my mom(SHE”S CRAZY!!!) but i know that if i told them some of the things that i’ve put up on this website that i’d probably be put in an institution.

I’m secretly envious of all my friends who have a great relationship with their boyfriends because they seem like they have he perfect time together and all me and my boyfriend of almost two years do is fight. I’m worried that there’s somthing wrong with me becuase i get mad whenever he seems to be flirting with other poeple and i feel that he’d be mad if i did the same. SO THERE………… I know he tries but it just seems that we never see each other anymore and things are wierd. I can’t live with him and i can’t live without him.

I’ve wanted to be in a serious car accident or get cancer just so some of my family members will at least pretend that they care about me so that i could feel like someone loved me before i died……

my best friend doesn’t feel like shes loved but she’ll never know that i’m the one who actually loves her.

It’s been one month, and I’m still getting those butterflies.

Last night i found out that someone loved me for who i was. I told my boyfriend who i was on this site and he cried and he forgave me for everything. He have me everyhting i’ve ever wanted

Sometimes I walk by a mirror and have to do a double take because I am startled at how beautiful I am, but then other times I look in the mirror and I want to cry because I’m so disgusted by myself, I’m scared to know which view is real, or what other people think when they see me

FIRST of all i’d like to appologize for the long and rambling nature of this comment. it got out of control once i statrted writting…..

is it a lost cause to wish you away? i’m stuck on you. Your a drug, my personal addiction. You’ve seen me broken before at your hands…somehow it made us closer? if i could send you away i would. i would hold you now if i could. and i’ll break up with the truer lover if you tell me i should. when i hold him your name always runs through my head. Sometimes i wish it was a bullet, i’m much better off dead. To lie this way breaks the very heart of me. And i know that deep down, you can see. Your hurt and i cry, your done, i still try. Does it make you cry at night when you remember the latest fight? i do, i always have been sentimental, compasionate? do i put others before myself? i doubt anyone will read this and i hope to god you do avert your eyes. i need a form of venting with out judgement i need to say what’s on my mind without caring about the consiquences. I WANT TO SING IN THE RAIN AGAIN. i want summertime. i want your love more than it all. You make me this way. you do. i”ve never seen anyreason to love anothr. Besides the fact you broke my heart. can i say its broken really? can a broken heart still love? the truth is you always leave me with that glimer of hope. that ray of light in a dark night that keeps my love alive. then can i really say i love my boyfriend too? the way i love you cant be matched but is there a lesser love in me? if i dont love him as well why cant i just let him go. truth is he’s a part of me. if i let him go it’ll kill me inside…he’s the reason my heart’s still beating after you ripped it out. he found a peice on the ground, cleaned it up and kept it warm.too bad the other half is in your hands still. and too bad i dont have it in me to take that half away from you, you were always a bad place to leave it. when your here your all that matters. when i’m with my boyfriend he’s all that matters, exceot for my guilty moments when your on my mind. my boyfriend says he doesnt know me. He’s more than right. im different than what everyone seems to think of me. i wish i was as perfectly innocent as everyone believes. when is it my turn to be simply in love? is their even such a thing?

Scented pinecones make me horny

no one boy will ever treat me as well as you did.
you’re forever my darling.
and i’m forever your babygirl.
i hope you’re doing okay in New York.
i’m sure you are.
you’re a gorgeous boy, easy to get along with, fun, and strange. but good strange.
if you need anything, call me.

ps:
i’m sorry i hurt you.
i regret it more than anything.
we were supposed to get old and fat together…

I still masturbate to photos of my ex because her boobs are bigger than my fiancees

we were best friends. he was the first boy i ever got the butterflies around, and the first one i ever dreamed about. he told me i was beautiful and made me feel special. he dropped out of high school and moved to the city without saying goodbye to me. he didn’t even text me. school sucks now without seeing him. we still talk, but i hate talking to him because all it does it get my hopes up that he will eventually come back, and i’ll see him again. all i want to do is see him. i’m starting to hate myself moer than ever for missing him, because i always told myself i wouldn’t be corny like that and that guys didn’t really matter. i cry every time i think about him. i just want to feel beautiful again.

i hate myself.

oh, and he was also going to take me to prom. he was the only boy who ever made, or makes, me feel worth while.

he owns a fucking car.
come see me, you bastard.

I have been in love with my best friend for over two years..
we dated in grade eight and have always gone back to each other..
he just doesnt come back the way i do..

no one ever suspects that a
straight A
student council officer
church youth group secretary
honors student

would have been masturbating and looking at porn
since the seventh grade.

no one knows.

“the hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay.”

how long does it take to upload?

I’ve known him since the 8th grade. I love him and how he makes me feel but can’t tell him how he makes me feel! If I wasn’t a boy would it be easier to tell him? I hate how he makes me feel but love it all at the same time!

I tell everyone I don’t want children because I have an aversion for them. The real reason is that I wouldn’t want them to think of me the way I think of my parents. I wouldn’t want anyone to think of me the way I think of my parents.

im a first timer on here.. its so interesting to read! iv got a lot of secrest tho! ;|
-i am extremelyyyy insecure evn tho i pretend that i’m not. i think i’m fat and i get upset when i go shopping because i’m not a small or a 0 like all my friends are.. im an 11 or a large.
-i feel like im weird because im 18 nd have only had one bf.. and didnt evn like him too much at the time
- i made out with the guy my friend liked.. and i enjoyed it
-i believe in God but i dont really go 2 church anymore bcz 1) i had a friend that died this summer nd i question Gods plan for me and 2) i masturbate alot and have sincei 8th grade (?) nd i know that its against my religion so i feel God doesnt want me to go2 church..
- i am saving myself for marriage
-wen i was 7 i touched my cousins innappropriately and i am so ashamed of what i did.. im so sorry
- i watch porn, and sometimes i think about being a lesbian even though i know i like boys
- sometimes ithink about being a nun
- i started playing sports so that people would think that i am not fat.. now i just like to play, but that was the original reason
- i’m bummed out bc i dont hav a boyfriend
- i commute to college but i want to live there so badly and i know my parents will be mad when i tell them
- my mom is my best friend but drives me insane.. she worries constantly and even though it makes her a good parent i wish she would back off just a little bit
- i am afraid of commitment
- i am afraid of guys liking me.. loving me.. i think its because im afraid it wont last and i’ll get hurt
- i want to have a LOT of kids when im older.. im a hopeless romantic.. i want to have a cute family, an adorable husband and a nice house
- i’m glad people think i act like my father
- i feel like my life is boring and i never do anything rebellious
- i think getting lip piercings are repulsive but i admire my cousins attitude to get one even when nobody wants her to
- i’m afraid ill be stuck in this small town forever

mmmm

I had an abortion 16 years ago,,I still wonder everyday if it was a boy or a girl. You broke up with me because I didn’t have the baby and I wonder if I had,,would we still be together. Would we have been happy?

to everyone
this might sound lame and stupid
and whether you believe in God or not
“God will never give you anything that you cant handle.”

that’s what get’s me through :]

im scared that i love the one person that i never ever wanted to fall in love with.
sometimes i listen to sad songs to make myself cry.

my head tells me i really like him but my heart tells me to stop thinkin about it…he’s the only guy ive slept with since june which may not seem like much to be proud of but for me it is…
they all tell me that im worth more than him but he makes me feel worth it and i dont know why.

and to him the guy i used to love, im sorry i broke your heart. And im sorry you broke mine. Im sorry that until the other day we never spoke properly even though we wer together all the time. Im sorry that you lied to me all the time and that i believed you. Im sorry that i lied to you too. But im not sorry that i told you i felt safe with you, like nothing could hurt me because that wasn’t a lie and it never will be but you will never know that

it wasnt rape. we didnt have sex. i still said no, and he did it anyways. so what is that.

i want so badly to do something completely unexpected.. im known as the innocent good girl and for once i’d like people to be shocked at what i do

,

I have never been truly honest to my friends and family…even the one girl I loved…I am too afraid of people finding out what I really think to tell them the truth especially if it might hurt them
I tried once…but too many people complained about our other friend’s bitching that I couldn’t tell them…

we met in 7th grade
your were chunky with glasses and i loved it(and u)
you become my “best friend” in high school by then you were cool and all the girls wanted you
i had a boyfriend now but still secrety wanted you i had been with my bf for a year
he cheated and you saved me we kissed at the park for the first time while my bf drove by looking for me
he found out and i said id never talk to u again which of coarse didnt happen we kept seeing each other all thru highschool everyone knw but no one would admit to it and then senior yr you got with one of my girl bestfriends and when she realized i would always be your no. 1 girl she hated me i remember you telling me all this when you came to see me 2mths after your wedding right out of highschool i was jealous
so i went and got married too to my highschool bf i havent talked to you since 2mnths before my wedding which was over a year ago but when i see you around town i still get butterflies and YES i still and always will love you i cant help but think WHAT IF

it will never get better

I had a pretty good boyfriend who i thought i loved for about 4 years. Then one night at a party, the hottest guy in my highschool suddenly thought i exsited and i had had a crush on him for years. I ended up kissing him. That was my boyfriends and mine annivversary week. That weekend my then-boyfriend got really drunk and suposedly slept with my friend. I took that as an excuse to dump him and kicked him out of my house. i guess i was really unhappy. A week later i got together with the allstar guy from my school that i had kissed. We fight all the time and he is soo mean to me and says he doesnt want to date me. But as much as i hate him for everything, i think im falling in love with him. He shows me a side of him i think hes too scared to show anyone else. hes everything i thought he would be and its scary that im having these feelings for someone i barely know. I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know him.

as much as i hate him.. i think i love him

I feel like I’m cursed because guys always try to touch me and take advantage of me. How many times does a girl have to fight for her virtue and try not to be molested or raped AGAIN? Is that really normal for it to happen more then a couple times?! The only way I could think of to make it stop was to stay home all the time and never go out. I can’t trust boys and I actually kinda hate all of them, but I can’t help but want to be really loved by one

I don’t miss her, but now I feel completely alone. I am only 21 and I am scared that I will be alone forever

I only ended it because they told me too.
I wish you had been there that day, you could have seen why I did what I did instead of believing the lies. You could have stopped me.
I didn’t love him. I didn’t like him. I didn’t know him…I feel so cheap…
I’ve cried every single day since. Everything reminds me of you and it’s killing me.
It hurts so much that you talk about me like that behind my back, but the fact that you’re avoid me now hurts more than anything. No, that’s not right, the fact that you used me for sex hurts the most, because I want so much more than that from you. The cuddles after might have meant nothing to you, but to me they meant everything..it was like we’re back to normal…back to before.
I just want to go back to before.
Why won’t you let it happen?

I love her. I used to hold her and tell her all about how i feel. She stopped liking me for another guy. I’ve been suicidally jealous. It’s been over 4 months. Now i only hold the drawing she gave me and the matching necklace i gave her. I love this girl. I love her…

I would rather read and dream about true love than actually find a true love. I have never had a relationship of any sort even though I’m almost out of high school. I am secretly jealous of my best friend because she is with the only boy that ever acted like, he liked me while I liked him too. I bury myself in my song writing and sad love songs every weekend. I never talk on the phone and hardly ever talk to my family, I would rather just ignore them and pretend I enjoyed their company. My grandma and grandpa understand me more than anyone. I always wonder what strangers are thinking of me and if I will ever know. I secretly wish that I could think I was beautiful but still enjoy not being perfect. I feel like my real life will never begin because my parents do not want me to pursue a career in music. I write poems about my friends lives and secrets. I gain inspiration from their triumphs and their downfalls. I am not sure if I can love something other than my music. I hope constantly that somebody will sweep me off of my feet. I cried like a baby at the end of Wall-E before he returned to normal and then I continued to cry. I still am not sure why.

I read other people’s secrets so I don’t feel so alone..

i am in love with my boyfriend but i also like his best friend. who is my best friends boyfriend and my other best friend too

the things I would do to you..

I love him so much.
If he leaves me, I don’t think I’ll be able to love again.
My heart will be gone.

how long does it take?

I lied about being sexually violated to see if anyone cared. Someone did and I feel like my boyfriend thought I was being open with him when really it was all a lie..he still doen’t know..my friends don’t either. Now I’m to scared to tell..it’s a part of me

i have a few friends that i only started talking to because i was attracted to them…
i wonder how things would have turned out if i were straight.

My girlfriend tells me she loves me more than anything, and that she wants to be with me forever.
Our relationship is pretty much a secret…
Because her ex is crazy, well, that’s what I’m told.
I know she still hangs out with him, I’m just afraid it’s more than that.
She’s the first girl I’ve ever fallen in love with.
I’ve brought him up many times, but never get the answer I’m looking for, because I always back down…

Because I’m scared I’m going to lose her…

I’m not religious, but every night, I pray, and I wish, that everything she tells me is the truth, and we can be together forever, without him.

I hate the person I use to call my best friend. She’s the most hypocritical person I’ve ever known and I wish she’d never talk to me again.

But I can’t get myself to tell her that because I’ve known her for 15 years.

You lied and told me that he loved you, but the truth is he was there all along loving me from afar. You dont know it yet, but were running away together at the end of this month. The truth is your my best friend and im NOT sorry i found my love story and destroyed yours.

I don’t understand how you can say you love me but don’t care enough to even try to be with me. So I doubt your love and wonder why you’ve bothered lying to me for the past two and a half years. Why can’t you just try a little bit?

i think my butterflies have broken wings

I look forward to fights with my boy friend.
It’s the only time we have meaningful conversations anymore.

I wish my boyfriend loved me the way he loves my bestfriend.

im in love with my boyfriend but i also like his bestfriend. who is also my bestfriends boyfriend and my other bestfriend

i no the reason i want everythin 2 happen RIGHT NOW. im scared ill take my lyfe + not of done the things i wanted 2 do

I hate that we were friends for a year, and then because of one weekend, you felt like you couldnt talk to me anymore….and I also hate that you left without saying goodbye. But mostly I hate that even though you hurt me, I cant seem to let you go……

There are times, that I wonder if having an abortion would have been the right decision…..

We were young, and I was stupid enough to hope. I was in love with him, and he told me I was his best friend. A part of me thought that it really was going to turn into something more when he said he didn’t know what he’d do when summer ended because we wouldn’t see each other every day – that he needed me in his life.

What he did was date another girl and stop returning my calls.

Ever since he walked out of my life three and a half years ago, I haven’t been able to let anyone else get truly close to me.

Im in a relationship, but 90% of the time I go to bed by myself….
I spend every single day trying to make someone else happy, but I cant remember what happy feels like…
The nights that he does come home, I dont even want to be near him….yet I miss him when he’s not here…
Why cant I make myself happy anymore??

It took me a long time to decide which secrets to post.

I never look at myself in a mirror.

Only because I see my mother.

And I feel guilty because I have failed to make her dreams come true.

And I’m happy that my sister and I have different dads so when I do catch myself in the reflection of a window or glass, I never see her faith in me too.
(but we have the same eyes)

My greatest fear used to be getting trapped in an elevator.

Now it’s whether or not HE will visit my grave.

I know he won’t.

(but i wish he will)

The bottle of aspirin will be empty tomorrow.

I wish i were pregnant.

so i’d have a reason for failing out of university other than the fact that i hate it here.

I’d feel less guilty.

I’m scared to DEATH you’re going to find someone else you can’t get enough of!!

PLEASE dont leave me, you MR are all I have these days.

Without you, there is no me.

stay FOREVER, Dont go!

[[ i know you say you love me more than anything, but i cant help but wonder if its the truth? ]]

is this all in my head?…..

xo RwL

My ‘friends’ told me I was weird for so long, I almost started to believe them.

I felt like killing myself because of it.

But I’m not broken, I’m not even weird, I’m an INTP, I’m normal, and I have real friends now. And I think i’m happier after leaving them behind.

this guy i love, has hurt me many times. its always the same thing. we almost date but than he finds some reason to ruin it or tell me no or some weird thing like that. last night he told me he didnt have a reason for not dating me, and told me he did like me but was afraid of being happy.
i love him more than anything or anyone knows, but i cant be with him even if he does want me because i dont want to get hurt again. my heart is begging me to date him, to run away with him and for it to just be us (even tho that will never happen). my head is telling me its not worth the pain, that hes just doing the same thing over and over again and im the biggest idiot in the world if i date him.

sadly i think im the biggest idiot in the world

I promised myself when it started that I wouldn’t let myself fall in love with him and i have anyways…why do i do this to myself?
Now he won’t speak to me and i dont know why because i haven’t seen him to offend him…it upsets me more than it should.

It makes me feel sick just thinking about it

I think I am in love with my best friend.
She just came out to me a few weeks ago.
I’m not gay.
Its torn me up since she doesnt want to be friends anymore.
When my boyfriend holds me in his arms, I think of her.
And it makes me feel better.

I try as hard as I can.
I do everything, and anything I can.
I push myself to the limits.
Why can’t you just open your eyes and see me?
I’ve been standing right in front of you.
This stress just keeps building, and it’s hard to continue.
Why can’t you see what your lies and secrets are doing to me.

I just want you to do what you’re going to say.
Tell me the truth.
And live up to the promises you’re making.

I’m trying my hardest, but I don’t know why it’s not good enough.
I’m not giving up though.

I can’t do this alone,
I just need your help.

i wanted to get you pregnant so we would always have a reason to see each other

I only have two friends who are guys.
One of them is gay.
The other, I am in love with.
But he has a girlfriend.
I want him to be happy.
I’m friends with her too and want her to be happy.
But sometimes I wish she would break his heart.
So I could put it back together again.
And she would find the love of her life in someone else.
And he would fall in love with me.
<3

Im terrified i’ll remain stuck married to the man im not in love with forever.. Its been 5 miserable years. But the 7 years prior to that were bliss. Thats the one who has my heart and always will..

The worst part is he still feels the exact same way. He has thought of me everyday just as i have. Now im stuck. I need him in my life, but its too hard for him to even be my friend now. The depression grows everyday. I never thought it could get any worse than suicidal, but it does.. The hole gets deeper & deeper, until you lose your mind for good..

i hope ana makes me happy

I loved him for four years.
For four years, he treated me like the dirt under his shoes.
There is no way to count all the tears I cried because of him.
His first initial is a scar on my hip.
Now I’m moved on, and he’s suddenly being all nice.

((Well, I’m sorry, but you’re just a little too late.))

The hardest part of this is, I thought I actually had a chance with you.
Now I’m dating your best friend; you’re dating mine.
How did it get this way?
All I ever wanted was you, and you never even game me a second glance.
I suppose this is what I get for fooling myself into believing I was worth something.
You make it so hard to love him…

For two years I have been in love with my best friend. I thought he felt the same. Now I know he can’t.

I am the only person he has told he is gay.

I cut every time i think anything i do, say, or think is conceited. Now i can’t stop. I think about how i realize that I’m conceited and should stop before i hurt myself because I’m better than that, but then I think I’m conceited again. And when I think I’m smart enough to realize I’m conceited, I think I’m conceited again. Then I cut again, my arm is covered in scars, AND cuts. I need help but I’m too afraid to get it. I don’t think anyone would care anyway. I’m always afraid of what people will say when they see, so I wear hoodies. Even in the summer. =/

I cried when i realized i stopped loving him. I think thats because i knew if he found out, it would never break his heart.