I never told anyone how hard it was for me when my grandma died..

I never told anyone how hard it was for me when my grandma died right in front of me. I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want to seem selfish. She died one month before my birthday. And nobody knew that I took her death the hardest.  

I promised my family and friends I would come home.

I promised my family and friends I would come home. They don’t know I plan on it being in a bodybag.

I killed you both and havent learned to forgive myself…

Dad, I blaim myself for your Heroine addiction and eventual death from Overdose… I blame moms death from AIDS on your Heroine abuse… I killed you both and havent learned to forgive myself…

I’m terrified that my mom and sisters are going to die soon because they smoke.

I’m terrified that my mom and sisters are going to die soon because they smoke.

I keep wishing that my heart will stop.

I keep wishing that my heart will stop. So I dont have to kill myself and hurt the people I love.

I cried more when my aunt’s dog died…

I cried more when my aunt’s dog died… then i did when my great aunt died.

I wrote this secret weeks ago…

I wrote this secret weeks ago… I wish my grandparents died so my dad could be free I know I am bad…   …my grandmother died yesterday.

I remember once thinking that I wouldn’t care if you died.

I remember once thinking that I wouldn’t care if you died. Now you’re gone and I’m so fucked up. I’d do anything to bring you back.