I’m nicer and prettier than many of the girls around me.

I'm nicer and prettier than many of the girls around me.

I’m nicer and prettier than many of the girls around me. Thinner, too.

So how is it easy for them to get guys. While I always feel so unwanted?

What’s so wrong with me?

59 thoughts on “I’m nicer and prettier than many of the girls around me.”

  1. What’s wrong with you? You sound arrogant, vain and shallow.

    A good soul, warm personality, humble down-to-earth disposition and sense of humor are far more attractive than the superficial things you seem to focus on.

  2. It probably is more difficult for them to “get guys” than you imagine. “Thinner” is a female thing. Perhaps if you could relax and just live rather than compete, you would find you really see yourself more clearly, like yourself more, and then be able to let people in. They will begin to like you as well.

  3. Maybe it is the type of guy you are trying to attract. Pay careful attention to the way society works. Guys chase after those girls that take those “sexy” photos in the mirror with the camera over their shoulder and pouty lips and big boobs. But that’s not the kind of guy you want to attract, is it? That’s the type of boyfriend that will last you two weeks.

    But then girls want the bad boy trouble making type who MUST have muscles and perfect hair and fights with you constantly. What you don’t realize is this may be dating material but they’re not husband material. For husband material, check your nearest friend zone.

  4. ‘Somewhere Out There’ makes a really good point. A lot of guys see girls who they are attracted to in two categories:

    1. Girls they only want to sleep with, but nothing more. ‘Hot’ girls that they’d love to have sex with but don’t want to really talk to or get to know because these girls are not interesting. They are often the skinny, fake, glitzy girls whose really only have their looks going for them and that’s all guys are interested in.

    2. Then there are ‘relationship material’ girls: Girls who may be beautiful/cute or even plain… but have something else to offer- they are interesting, funny, witty or intelligent and the guy wants to get to know them, talk to them and yes, probably sleep with them too but that is not the only thing. These are often the girls (in my opinion) who are ok going a day without styling their hair and wearing a messy pony-tail. These are girls who are not afraid to get muddy, who are kind to everyone, who love their freckles and their natural skin and don’t bathe in tanner and makeup. REAL girls. The attraction to these girls is due in part to their internal beauty as well as their external beauty.

  5. Your giant ego… You don’t have room for anyone else in there too. Seriously, anyone who thinks they’re prettier, nicer, thinner than everyone else and is happy to say so had GOT to have some narcissism issues.

  6. I completely understand. Guys typically think that “attractive” girls are always getting hoards of attention so they are nervous about approaching them because they feel that she could get anyone she wants, so why would she like him.

    Because of this, you may get looks from guys, but they’ll never actually approach you. You may even get appreciative comments in passing, but none of them will actually TRY and talk to you.

    While your friends who may not be as attractive as you, they are probably used to pursuing guys and being pursued by guys, so they have better flirting skills than you. I was/am in your position, so I get it. I know you’re not a bitch.

    You feel invisible, yet in the spotlight, however it seems that everyone else around you seems to make it work except you? Am I close?

    Anyways, you have to do more to make yourself approachable. Try smiling more and work on flirting, It may seem awkward or redundant, but you have to give them an obvious signal of “Yes!! I AM INTERESTED IN YOU!!” and they’ll approach you more.

    My theory: If your pretty, maybe the rejection hurts more? I don’t know…Take it as a compliment; it’s a lot less depressing that way. I hope I helped 🙂

  7. Honestly, when I read this and it said ‘What’s so wrong with me?’ I thought well first, you think you’re better than everyone else. Even I wouldn’t want to hang out with you, because I would feel like you’re judging me because I’m not ‘pretty’ enough or something… As friend that’s a girl. Change what you think about yourself and others and maybe you’ll get a guy.

  8. You and Asdfjkl should start a conceited bitch-club.

    In my experience, it’s usually the girls who THINK they are the ‘prettiest/nicest/etc’ who are NOT any of those things.

  9. guys usually aren’t attracted to girls who think they’re prettier/nicer/thinner than everyone else, they’d rather someone less conceited

  10. @Hunter it’s not a “conceited bitch club”. I understand how she feels. It’s the very opposite actually, she feels self-conscious because despite her best efforts, her friends seem to be getting guys while she’s the one who is still single. You judgmental prick! I was trying to give her helpful advice instead of calling her a bitch like everyone else.

    To the poster: take my advice, it will definitely help. You have to make your feelings more known and make an extra effort to seem approachable and it will work out. Don’t worry.

  11. 1) Work on your self-esteem. Men, and people in general, feel attracted to confident, independent people.
    2) Forget about the looks. It doesn’t matter in the long run. Just do what you need to do to feel comfortable in your own skin.
    3) Live your life to the maximum TODAY. Don’t wait until “you find someone” to start enjoying everyday! Find some hobbies, love your studies/job, define what you want for yourself and who you want to be. Then you’ll meet someone who shares some of your views in life. Your happiness is in your own hands. It’s nobody else’s responsibility.
    Good luck.

  12. I think Ellie is right. I sometimes wonder why some of my friends attract more guys than me and then i sit and start comparing like how her boobs are bigger than mine and stuff. But I think you should know that there is someone out there just for you even if it may feel light years away.

  13. Stop comparing yourself with others around you. If you consider yourself the prettiest and nicest friend then you can be the pretty and nice girl but it doesnt mean your full of substance. Don’t disregard your friends and the things they bring to the table because you feel the way you do. Your friends are probably amazing people and you probably are too to your friends. Just make yourself happy and do things that make you feel alive or even accomplished and someone will come along and see all you have to offer. The sang that you will find someone when you stop looking is so true. Remember make yourself happy and you will forget about having to attract men that probably wouldn’t even appreciate you right now.

  14. The more we compare ourselves to others (whether it’s by feeling more or less than anyone else), the less appealing we become to others. It wasn’t until I took a long break, to figure out who I am, that I started feeling beautiful in my own eyes. Once I started seeing myself in that new light, I met the most amazing man I’ve ever heard of. Everyone is beautiful in their own way–physical beauty means nothing if you don’t have the heart to go with it.

  15. I don’t think ego is the issue here, it’s really quite the opposite.

    To feel as if you are beautiful on the outside but nobody likes the person you are in the inside, obviously this can be disheartening because it feels like people have a problem with how you are at your core.

    But the truth is, that’s probably not the case, that there is something intrinsically, terribly wrong with you. I don’t know you, so I could be wrong. But confidence is an attractive thing. Not arrogance, but being comfortable with yourself. People ultimately are drawn to people who are accepting of themselves.

  16. Girl, it’s most likely because you are so focused on being what everyone else is! You’re trying too hard. And let me let you in on a little secret, men liking thin women is a fetish & not the norm at all. Men want to romance a woman who doesn’t spend their time focused on themselves! So get happy, eat a sandwich & let the love come to you!

  17. The ‘thinner too’ part is what made me figure out literally everything you are about. You’re repugnant, you’re arrogant and you probably deserve the loneliness you’re going through with such an atrocious attitude like that

  18. For those of you saying it’s her ego I’m ashamed. Society always talks about how girls are always too self-conscious and how we need to be more confident in ourself. But the minute a girl shows an ounce of confidence she’s egotistical or conceited. Make up your minds.

  19. I could write a ten page paper defending this girl but what it all boils down it is that it isn’t a crime to look in the mirror and think your beautiful and someone should love you. It’s what we should all feel when we look in the mirror. And comparing yourself to others doesn’t make you a bad person it’s a natural thought process.

  20. I know how you feel! That’s exactly how I felt during school. My dad told me that guys are intimidated by pretty girls, but that didn’t really help. Perhaps try to work on your confidence and become more outgoing. For me, theatre was the best option. I met a ton of people! And since I was meeting other theatre people who weren’t as shy as the other guys in my school, I was getting hit on! Finally! Hahahaha. Try to have good spirits, though. Men love women with confidence. Confidence is sexy. If you know you’re hot shit, so will all the men.

  21. even i feel the same.but what my bff said was guys underestimate me and my ability and even if they somehow start loving me i am not supposed to tell them i love them.today i am against my bff and i have 5 lovers though i am not pretty. iguess confidence was the key

  22. Don’t look at any of these other responses. This is Post secret, and you can say here exactly what you think…. and yeah… if you’re attitude/character is just as beautiful, than you probably just dont realize how many guys do like you .

  23. Most of you are simply judging who she is by a few words. How people feel like they can sum someone up without even speaking to them is beyond my comprehension. I’m judged in the same way. Am I invisible? Why can’t anyone just talk to me and find out that I’m not conceited or above being friends with them. I would always try to talk to others, but it never sticks. I’ve stopped trying and now i’m just waiting. Maybe for my life to move on or for people to stop judging me on my looks or my walk. Either way i hope the original girl never sees this page, parts of it broke my heart too.

  24. Dont get why this girl is being judged so harshly. Society tells us we should be thin and beautiful so its natural to wonder why you are these things and still unloved. Women are still largely judged on their looks and its not healthy for the pretty or plain ones. None of us feel good enough! A lot of you cant see the difference between conceit and confusion.

  25. She’s being judged because of the comparison she includes. If she merely said she was pretty and thin, noone would have had the issue with her ego lol

  26. Like I said, she sounds young and confused to me. Anyone who says they havent said dumb things when theyre finding their way is a liar, and she hasnt said it, its a secret remember

  27. And are you really a bad person just because you know your prettier than most people? After lots of people tell you, you just have to believe it. The down side is that you spend your life worrying that thats all there is to you and once gravity steps in, your pretty much screwed! Real confidence and personality are key, once she finds hers, she’ll be unstoppable.

  28. If you truly believe you are “prettier” and “thinner” than most girls around you, I seriously doubt that you’re “nicer.” There’s a huge difference between confidence and arrogance. Learn it.

  29. People on here are so negative! You cant think your pretty but you can judge and condemn. Get a grip witches cause your all reeking of jealousy.

  30. @ Pot,Kettle,Black #:
    It is very rude to call someone else jealous. You can totally admit to your own jealousy, but it is tactless to say someone else is jealous.

  31. Tactless? Have you seen the other comments??
    You’ll notice I didnt use the words vain, arrogant, shallow, repugnant, bitch and my favourite conceited bitch. These words are fine but I cant say jealous? Ill always defend someone taking that much abuse. The fact that your concern is to teach me manners speaks volumes.
    Yours sincerely, Pot,Kettle,Black

  32. @Pot,Kettle,Black,
    YES, “tactless.” I wrote that to you because so many people seem to ignore or be apathetic to the rudeness of their calling another person jealous. Claiming that someone else is jealous is an accusation, just as claiming someone else is arrogant is. The difference is that the person who calls another “arrogant” is almost necessarily CORRECT on that count; whereas, the one who accuses another “jealous” is generally ‘WAAAY off. Just because someone has a complaint — or even MANY complaints — about someone else, does not make him or her jealous.

  33. Ok so its fine to call her arrogant, repugnant and a bitch because thats what she is? Very tactful.It amazes me how people can justify being completely unkind. I was like this when I was younger. A pretty shell, with no confidence or self esteem. I wasnt arrogant, I was very confused and sad. Maybe YOU shouldnt assume you know what people are from a sentence on a postcard. Maybe you should get off your high horse while your at it.

  34. Ha! You think I’m capable of getting on a horse — that’s hilarious! I am NOT an equestrian, including the kind who doesn’t really ride, but merely thinks the Universe of herself. Nice try, but some of us needed to learn how to stop being tread on like a doormat, and if only we could have figured it out before we were out of college — wouldn’t that have saved us decades of unhappiness! I was quite a looker, too, but it didn’t keep people from treating me worse than something they scraped off the bottom of their shoe. Having been put “in my place” by teachers who were completely inept at their jobs, I barely spoke to people, all the while my mind was flooded with ideas that would have dramatically improved upon what was happening.
    The poster has gotten what she asked for by claiming to be “nicer…prettier..thinner” than most girls. What makes anyone so sure that she is attractive to guys? What makes anyone think that all guys find the same traits, etc., attractive? It would probably be tough to find anyone out there who is unclean to be considered attractive by ANYONE, but there is a fetish for every strangeness in the world; isn’t there? Do you think that all girls like the same things? Think again! Women are less varied in sexual peculiarities than men are, certainly, but that doesn’t mean we all seek the same physical attributes in men as each other.
    I know i got off on a bit of a tangent, there, but I hope you get my points. And BTW, if you knew me in person, you would find me to be incredibly kind, generous, compassionate, and easy to talk to. I am such things to a fault. Maybe you’re a nice person, too, but if you are, why did you choose a shortened version of an accusation of hypocrisy as your screen name?

  35. I meant respond to that. I feel like im making you angry. Maybe your taking this
    more seriously than i am but i am entitled to an opinion like everyone else is. Hope you respond because its interesting but i really dont want to upset anyone.

  36. To Pot,Kettle,Black —
    Yeah, you MUST be falling asleep at your terminal, since you seem to have lost the ability to type a complete sentence, including enough verbs, and you seem to be unaware of the difference between “your” and “you’re.”
    You’re not upsetting me. I think YOU are taking this a lot more personally than is anyone else on here.
    I hope you don’t honestly believe I’m an equestrian. It was an example of dry humor mixed with a pun. It IS a bit more complex than most people can appreciate.
    You are, of course, entitled to your opinion. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But I notice that many people label delusions, myths, etc., as opinions, MUCH of the time. And very few people take into account the full picture, and especially, The Big Picture. Even I am occasionally guilty of it, but at least I am brightly aware that most people are guilty of it almost all the time.
    Maybe pretty shell girls who are all confusion and sadness inside should express some genuine humility, stop holding pity friends “hostage,” if you will, and decide to be the very best they can be, which would entail being true friends to girls who don’t even fit in with the outcasts, and of course, then, the outcasts.

  37. Lady you’re going off on so many tangents I can’t keep up. And you are unable to make a point succinctly. And yes I know I can’t start a sentence with and. And I got your not funny attempt at irony/humour or whatever that was the first time. It’s just condescending. I’m not upset, I just disagree with you. Your essays
    on the other hand suggest otherwise.

  38. I can actually relate to that. I mean, people tell me i’m pretty and that im funny and a great person all the time But i dont know why there are no guys chasing after me It’s not a big deal honestly but it kinda keeps me wondering. :/

  39. Don’t listen to the people calling you names for listing your qualities so matter-of-factly. It’s sad that we can’t honestly say that we are nice or thin or pretty without being called arrogant and conceited. No one seems to mind when people call themselves fat and ugly. In fact, they respond with “No way! Don’t think that way about yourself! You’re beautiful!” But when we do think of ourselves as beautiful we get tagged as conceited bitches. It’s impossible to please everyone, but it’s wonderful that you have the ability to recognize what’s beautiful about yourself, even if you feel like the people around you don’t see it. I can relate to your frustration. My advice is to look at yourself for the answer. Maybe you have a “wall” up in front of you that makes it hard for guys to approach you. Maybe you’re lacking confidence and guys are picking up on that without realizing it. Or maybe those guys think you’re out of their league 🙂 Don’t worry, someone will see how great you are one day, if he hasn’t already.

  40. Guys don’t care how confident a woman is. That’s women projecting what they find attractive in a man, onto what a man should find attractive in a woman. Men want a youthful, beautiful girl, who loves to have sex.

    Women want a confident, rich, socially powerful man.

    Guys avoid over-confident, career women like the plague. It’s like hanging out with another dude. Feminism is a sham, created by man-hating Lesbians. Don’t listen to their BS.

    If men are avoiding you, it is because of your looks and your serious, unapproachable attitude. Try being feminine and smile a lot.

  41. I felt the same way in high school, although I never said it. I was not conceited, but quite the opposite. I did not have a lot of guys talking to me during this time and I could not figure out what was wrong with me, it was very depressing. After high school was over and I ran into people (guys) who I had gone to school with, the overwhelming response was that they felt they were not good enough to approach me. So, maybe you should just be friendly and start up some conversations. Let them know that they can approach you and that you are friendly, they will come around. I had to talk to my hubby first (in high school) and he still says I am out of his league- I always thought it was the opposite and was so glad he liked me too. Dont stress so much!

  42. Tom McG, your posts are brilliant! I’ve been following some of the things you write, the goodness and careful consideration for people in your posts not only gives sound advice but in my mind, are so correct and well articulated that I find myself saying, why didn’t my mind work that way!
    If you are not a counsellor or a psychologist, you should be!
    I look forward to reading more of your posts!

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