I’m anorexic..but I like food too much to stop eating.

I'm anorexic..but I like food too much to stop eating.

I’m anorexic..but I like food too much to stop eating.
I don’t understand why I can’t stop.
I know I’m anorexic because I’m 15, 5’5, and weigh 93 pounds.
Every time I look in the mirror, there’s fat I see that I want so badly to get rid of. I’ve cried over that so many times. I’ve cut over it.
I wouldn’t be so heart broken if I could stop eating. but I can’t.
I hate this.

14 Comments on “I’m anorexic..but I like food too much to stop eating.

  1.  by  Isabelle

    I don’t think this is anorexia. Anorexia is to not eat or eat very little. You can not diagnose yourself by your weight. You must see a doctor to get proper help and a proper diagnostic.

  2.  by  Faith

    You’re 5’5 and 93 pounds. Even if you see it in the mirror, there is no possible way that you have any fat. I’m 5’3 and 140 pounds. *I* have fat. Isabelle is right. You need to see a doctor and get some
    help.

  3.  by  Kristen

    If you feel that way, you have a disordered relationship with food. Weight is used in diagnostic criteria and is a big indicator of a problem but the disordered thought patterns can and do occur in people of all shapes and sizes. Also, in response to the first comment, it is definitely possible to be anorexic and still be eating. Many anorexics actually obsess over food and cooking.

    I feel for you because reading your secret, it sounds almost like I wrote it about myself. I have felt those feelings and they hurt. I have also cut over it. I know how the heartbreak feels when your disorder is pushing you to stop eating and you can’t. But that’s a sign that you need help. Renfrew is a good treatment facility for inpatient and outpatient. I went there and would recommend it.

  4.  by  Ella

    Kristen is right and her comment is excellent.
    I struggle with food obsessions 24/7 and I eat, though admittedly very little. Most anorexics eat and love eating. I have been fighting anorexia for 12 years and was officially diagnosed when I was 12. The best treatment facility I have been to is Renfrew where I did inpatient. Get treatment as soon as you can- the earlier you seek treatment the higher your chances of full recovery are. You don’t want to be dealing with this chronically for your entire life.
    I hope you get help soon and wish you luck. Recovery is possible.

  5.  by  Anna

    Hey I’ve been there too. For fucksake I still am. I hate the fat too and I don’t know how to get out of it. I recently started eating and watching myself gain the weight back has been soul-crushing but I think it’s right. Good luck hun,I don’t know what the answer is but hope we both find it <3

  6.  by  M.

    I am 5.7 and 103. I’m a guy, and i’m 17. I’m not anorexic. But I have no shame in my size or wieght. And my friends accept me for who I am.
    You are beautiful, and others will all see that if you choose to accept that as well.

  7.  by  m

    anorexia is when you starve yourself to become abnormally thin, you can’t just decide that you are anorexic because you’re underweight. i’m assuming that you are naturally that thin with a high metabolism and some other sort of eating and emotional problem.

  8.  by  Sandy

    That sounds like me. The term i learned was “over eater” – or bulimia without the puke.

    The thoughts and feelings are the same as with anorexia and bulimia. However instead of starving ourselfes we turn to food. Keep eating. Often in extremes.

    Sometimes I kept eating until I was on the verge of puking. Then I waited a little and started eating again. It didnt matter if it was healthy or not, if it was chips or graham crackers, if it was cola or milk. It all went down. In absurd ammounts. And I hated myself for it

  9.  by  Kristina

    i think you have a body image issue. Anorexia is when you no longer eat, not when you look at yourself (when you’re healthy) and think your fat. That’s body dismorphic disorder and can lead to an eating disorder. more than anything you probably have a binge eating disorder more than a non-eating one.

  10.  by  Lucinda

    5’3 98 pounds until the summer after I turned 18. Everyone your age who isn’t addicted to mcdonalds and couch sitting is thin. Anorexia is not your problem if you eat. You have a problem with your body. See a doctor doll.

  11.  by  meg

    Actually, there are some ignorant comments here. She could very well be anorexic and like eating. I was there for years and I would starve myself all days so i could eat some popcorn at night or vegetables. It was the only way I felt I deserved them. To me, I was still “eating” but in reality, I was extremely underweight (as the poster is) and sick.

    I had to chime in as comments telling anyone they are “not anorexic” are really unhelpful and can be quite damaging. I realize people posting this are ignorant but often, people with anorexia never feel sick enough and saying they are simply underweight can lead to even more justification of eating disordered behaviors.

    I have found my way out of years of this mess and I truly hope that the original poster and anyone else reading this who needs help gets it. There IS a life beyond your eating disorder. Its hard as hell to get to the other side, but it is so very worth it. And so is everyone who is suffering-even if they don’t feel it about themselves.

  12.  by  Kim

    Anorexia is probably the correct term, I was sick for 3 years I would go for 3 to 4 days without eating and then binge. I am 5’7 and my lowest weight was 94 pounds. People used to hold coke cans up to my legs and laugh because they were the same size or they would say I looked like a holocaust victim. I think those comments and meeting th love of my life made me realize how sick I was. That was 17 years ago and now I have
    Yoyo’d all over the scale but at least I am not killing myself. I hope she has found some help

  13.  by  Jaime

    I hate that after your bravery to admit your problem, people are telling you that it’s not true. Don’t listen to them. You are brave. Get help.

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