August 29, 2012
I have one night stands because it makes me feel loved.
In the morning, I feel like I don’t deserve to be loved because I’m a ‘whore’.
Category: New Secrets
Tags: loved, one night stands
your actually being used !
You are NOT a “whore.” You want to be loved. “Whores” are angry. Try to open yourself up to those around you; your friends. Let THEM love you. If you let them love you then you will learn to love yourself and learn how to accept the love you are SO VERY deserving of. There may be someone who loves you right now but you can’t see it because you think you aren’t worthy. You ARE!!! Look how courageous you are to admit to us, and more important, to yourself that you are “one night standing” so you can feel loved. You KNOW inside it is NOT love!! You are on your way!! You CAN do it!!
A prostitute once told me that she was so proud of her boyfriend because he never cheated on her. She didn’t cheat on him either because she would close her eyes and go away while she was “working.” The body was doing the work things, doing them well, but her heart and soul she kept for him…because he loved her and she loved him. She isn’t a whore and if she wasn’t a whore, then neither are you. I promise if you work on being good to yourself, love will come.
Me too and I don’t know whether to feel guilty or empowered. You can’t really ignore someone for over four years and expect them to wait out your personal soul search. I would not expect it of you and you shouldn’t expect it of me. When you are ready, I’m still yours.
Youre not a whore!!!!!! if youre a whore Im a whore. WE arent Whores!
Because you are!!!
Sofffej apparently has no sin AND enjoys using negative labels on others.
whores charge. everybody else is just trying to find connections. Everybody’s a whore and nobody is.
Keep doing it if the good feeling outweighs the bad. If it doesn’t, pull away is my advice. Or these experiences will hang over you forever, sexually, emotionally, socially. I speak from my own experiences.
@Pixi, a whore is someone who is indiscriminate about their sex partners, not the same as a prostitute. This is from the dictionary of a certain genius I know. He is incredibly intelligent. NOT everybody is trying to find connections. Many people have sex with people the way pleasant people shake hands. These people have sex the way monkeys do: to prove themselves to be nonthreatening, to get food, et al., and so on. Monkeys have no shame, and neither do a lot of college kids and other party-enthusiasts. No morals about sex whatsoever. No, Pixi, not EVERYBODY is a whore.
To the poster, I sincerely hope you’re using condoms with each of your one nightstands. Condoms AND a secondary form of birth control. It would be so sad for you to get a disease and/or children by grasping at straws to be loved.
@ Tom McG. — are you an English professor/teacher? If so, I remember you! I was in your class, and I LOVED that you enjoyed my nonfiction story so much. It drove me NUTS that you tapped my page and said, Goood stuff, ******. I have LD, and it took me a LONG time to refocus so I could finish writing it. I would LOVE to catch up with you over dinner sometime.
Maybe you don’t… If you keep taking random Xicks home why would your situation or your opinion of yourself change?
your all whores
You are not whore. There is nothing wrong with having “indiscriminate” sex as long as you are being safe, physically and psychologically. However, you are doing it for love and darling, sex is not the same as love/affection. My advice to you is to stay away from these one night stands because they are only hurting you. Keep yourself open to love, allow guys to get to know you, BUT keep in mind that romantic love isn’t the only type of love. Hang out with your friends and family more, like someone said above, allow them to love you. <3
And apparently Tom McG thinks that by sticking up for you, he can be one of your next one-nighters.
There is PLENTY wrong with having indiscriminate sex. It is impossible to have truly SAFE sex, especially with strangers — condoms, even when used with lube, do not protect your entire body from friction, and with friction comes the transmission of any and every infectious disease either of you is carrying. There is also no such thing as “psychologically safe sex”… ALL SEX has an emotional effect on you, and this is especially true in the case of the poster — she is DAMAGING herself by doing this.
You’re not a very deep thinker, are ya there, justathought?
Me too, i do it because i don’t believe i am good enough to be loved so that small amount of time, meaningless or not where i feel loved, makes me feel better about myself than anyone of my friends telling me that i am good enough. Learn to love yourself and see yourself as a beautiful intelligent worthy young woman and then others will see that too.
P.s ignore the fucktard ^^^ saying you are a whore xxx
Ugh, I understand you. I want this too. I’ve not had sex in 15 or 16 months…and I’m a man! It makes me feel so desperate. It isn’t just about the sex or release…it’s about two bodies…no two souls entwined as one and completely focused on only the other…I miss it so frigging much.
It is the ultimate expression of love between two people. But the problem here is, for you, nobody is “loving you”. They are just fucking you. They just want have carnal sex. And you want more. You want what I described above. Do like I am doing. Say NO to simple, easy, sex. It’s not at all worth it (and I’m so tempted…) eventually some guy will love you; but likely only after you’ve taken some time loving & repairing yourself first.
You are a whore. I don’t mean that harshly or condescendingly. I am not saying that I am any better. It’s just the simple truth.
You were not made to have your body shared by many men who do not love you, but you give it to them anyways. This is what makes you undeserving of love.
But you are loved by Jesus Christ and His followers. Big time. You are loved by others he has put in your life, even if they do not always show it.
There was a woman caught in adultery who was about to be stoned for her sin. Jesus told the people holding stones to drop theirs, because none of them had the righteous authority to throw one. Jesus did because he was holy, but instead he told her to “go and sin no more.” That is what I am telling you. He will show you love if you trust in him.
pretty messed up that people will come on here to hate on somebody that is opening up that is obviously not necessarily sure how they feel about it. thought this was for support not for judgement and hate like we come across in everyday life. some people just love making others feel bad
@KNZ #: And some people are just trying to help; it’s called “tough love,” and it has its place on here. If those closest to you will not tell you the truth, there are still people out there who care about you enough to do so. It just appears to be judgment and hatred because we don’t know you up-close and in-person. To the inexperienced eye, it would look like hatred, but to the wiser, knowing eye, it is love and caring. Only jerk-users would want this woman to continue down the path she is on. Everybody else is trying to help her. Maybe you are just green, wet behind the ears, inexperienced.
I know I do a similar thing with my ex
It’s really frustrating to see so many people look down on other people for not having an emotional connection with sexual partners. Not everyone desires an emotional connection with a partner. There are things to say about carnal sex. The diseases and pregnancy risk that come with it are obviously something that should be noted and caution taken. That being said, even with a serious partner these risks can emerge. Pregnancy scares especially. And how do you know the prick isn’t cheating on you and can’t then pass a disease on to you? Sure the chances are lower than if you’re sleeping with many people, but the risk is still there.
If people choose to be in relationship and have sex with only that person, that is their free choice. Same goes for people who prefer to have multiple partners. You do not have the authority to judge someone and make them feel bad for their life style.
That being said, if having sex with all these guys is emotionally harmful, then it’s best to stop.
I had the same issue last year. I went through a time where I would have a new hook up basically every weekend and by the end of it all, I felt used.
But it didn’t come from the guys as much as it came from all the slut shamers out there that put me down for desiring mutltiple partners without
emotional connection. The way I got through that was I took a break. From guys period.
I took some time to just be by myself and really be my own person instead of letting myself believe whatever guys and peers in general convinced me to believe.
Only a few months later I met a guy I ended up going out with for a while. He actually respected me and our relationship never ended up revolving around sex. It was astounding. And I don’t think I could have reached this if I didnt take a mental (and phsyical) break from it all.
Sorry for the super long essay haha. Hope it helped!
God said “Judge not, but by their fruits shall ye know them.” So, essentially, Don’t prejudge others, but judge them by their actions. She just told us that she is whoring herself around. Therefore, we DO have the authority to judge her.
I bet if you were honest, you would admit that you didn’t WANT to tramp around weekend after weekend during your time of intense promiscuity, that you would have felt a lot better with ONE guy who loved and respected you. There is NOTHING worthwhile about going through sex partners like you are going through a flip-book. The BEST thing it might accomplish is to exact vengeance on one’s parents or something low like that. That great feeling you get from vengeance fades pretty fast, though, making it, truly, a waste of oneself.
Question: In what way is pregnancy scarier than permanent STDs, like herpes, HIV, genital warts (HPV) which may lead to cancer, antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea, or brain damage from syphilis? You would learn SO much from having and raising a baby; the blessings would abound, should you be paying enough attention to recognize them for what they truly are. Diseases are scary; symptoms may be painful. Many are permanent, and by bed-hopping every weekend will lead to transmitting them to others (even with condom use), and then you will feel SO HORRIBLE, and your one-time partners WILL HATE YOU.
The OP says that she has one night stands because when she does she “feels loved.” The next morning she is down on herself, perhaps to the level of self-loathing, although I hope it isn’t that bad. Why is wanting to “feel loved” whoring? “Whore” is such an ugly, derogatory term. She ISN’T evil or even bad; she is just naive. She doesn’t really believe that she is a whore because she uses quotes. She just feels bad and feels she is UNDESERVING OF LOVE!! NO ONE is undeserving of love! It appears that any malice she may have is directed towards herself. Towards that innocent-child part inside of her that is trying to take care of her…believing she is so worthless the only way she can find love, affection or attention is to just submit. I don’t think any of us would harshly judge a little girl. Well, that is what is guiding OP’s actions. She just needs to be heard and convinced that her view of herself (in this area) isn’t valid. She needs to be reassured that she is NOT ugly, unlovable, or bad, but she is in fact beautiful, worthwhile and strong. That she just needs to find her strength and learn to nurture it. Just sayin’
Regarding the word “whore:”
A whore is someone who is indiscriminate about their sex partners. Unfortunately, that sounds a lot like what she is.
Regarding the word “ugly:”
She’s not exactly doing herself any favors by having all those artificial pictures permanently inked onto that beautiful, clear skin that God blessed her with.
I don’t think she is necessarily a bad person; she IS, however, destroying herself in more ways than one. If she has family and/or friends, I’ll bet she’s breaking their hearts because she is debasing herself so. I sincerely doubt I know her (I don’t recognize any of her tattoos from anyone I know), but this post breaks my heart every time I read it or even SEE it. She is breaking MY heart, and I am worried about her, even if her family is out of her life and she believes she really has no friends. (It’s very rare for a person to, literally, have NO friends. I turned away people who were genuine friends in high school because I thought I was just a pity-friend, and I would rather have been alone than to be a pity friend. I explained this to them sometime in my late 20s, and I apologized for my foolishness. When the girl whom people thought was your childhood best friend was really the similarly-aged girl whose mother refused to take care of her (she had Down’s + sociopathy) and I was the only kid willing to spend time with her (because I felt forced to), and most of your other friends in elementary school seemed to be interested in you only for the help you could give them, you become rather jaded about anyone who wants to spend time with you. (My suspicion of the situation being reversed was along the line of “logic” as when one spouse cheats, and so accuses his/her partner of cheating.)
I agree. I too, suffer heartbreak whenever I encounter this post. I don’t assume the pics are of the people posting the secret, but it is an interesting thought. It just saddens me to my core when women, who are probably beautiful, think so little of themselves that they show such self destructive behaviors. You’re also right about worrying about this person. Anything can happen from STDs to “Looking for Mr. Goodbar,” but even if she gets through “unscathed,” she still has all those horrible, ugly scars on her soul! It is unbearable to know a woman may believe that the ability to be loved lies between her legs; making her body and person merely a commodity. Johnny Clegg’s song “Giyani” put it quite well:
“Did you hear about the mouse that went to the cat for love…
The cat said:
‘Mouse, I can’t be what your’e dreaming of.You’re so lonely; you’ve got it mixed up. You’re looking down below for what lies up above.’”
BTW, Broken Heart, unfortunately I am not the English prof of which you spoke. Sorry. I am also sorry for whatever prompted you to chose your screen moniker. I genuinely hope you’re okay.
I can relate to this. I know it’s because I don’t love myself… if only I knew how.
You are not a whore. I wish I had been less prude I have several opportunities but I refuse to have casual sex because men love to chase women especially a woman that is hard to catch. I wish I had been a little bit free with my sex
What is with all the slut-shaming on this thread? There is nothing wrong with having sex, regardless of how many or how few partners an individual chooses to engage in intercourse with: to attach moral connotations to a physical act between consenting adults is absurd, and often misogynistic.
In the case of the OP, I agree that it might be best to weigh the options and determine what will bring happiness; if engaging in sexual acts with multiple partners isn’t making you happy, it might not be the right thing for you at this time in your life–and that’s okay! Just know that you are not any less of a person for your sexual choices, and that you deserve respect and kindness.
And would everyone stop using the word “whore” as a derogatory term? It implies that a person does not deserve common courtesy and dignity as a human being, solely for their sexual history. Unless you are personally having sex with that person, it shouldn’t matter who they choose to sleep with. Why are some of you people “heart broken” over her sex life? The only heartbreaking thing is that she isn’t personally gaining happiness or contentment from the way she’s currently living. If she were sexually active in this manner, and happier for it, that would be a good thing; the only cause for concern is the self-loathing she appears to be experiencing.
If this makes you feel bad simply say no next time. It would be worth not getting yourself into situations where you’re likely to say yes in the first place, so make a conscious decision to change your behaviour and do so. Please ignore the person who called you a whore in the name of Jesus Christ. Jesus would never have judged you. If this isn’t helpful try some counselling. Good luck!.
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Notify me of followup comments via e-mail
Copyright © 2013 · All Rights Reserved · Post Secret Archive