You cheated on me multiple times.

You cheated on me multiple times.

You cheated on me multiple times.

You lied to me about your drug abuse.

You verbally abused me.

You tried to it me.

You ruined everything we had.

It’s been almost one year that it’s be over.

I think about you everyday.

9 Comments on “You cheated on me multiple times.

  1.  by  Melissa T

    It took me over 3 years to get over my ex, who did all of those things and more. I don’t want him to be part of my life but I still love him.My heart still beats faster at the sound of his voice or a glimpse of a old photo. I think I will always love and think of him but I will never trust him. I think the one thing that help me the most was think that even though he still living the man I married is dead. Its now been 5 years since our divorce and I’m not the same person I used to be but I’m getting to like the new me. You will get though this.

  2.  by  Tom McG

    It is mean and unfair, but it seems to be a “truth” that the harder we have to work to love someone, the harder it is to get away from them, even with we are SO very much better off. Melissa is right; you WILL get through this. It will not be easy and you will carry pieces of him for the rest of your life…how could you not?…those pieces are part of who YOU are now. It will get better, YOU will get better…and the new, wiser you will be wonderful. Hang in there…it is a lot of hard work but it will be worth it. You too, Melissa….good luck to you both.

  3.  by  Jen

    My ex did the same thing to me. It took me awhile to get over him. I jumped into another relationship. I still thought about him every single day. The man I started dating showed me how I should be treated. He showed me that I didn’t deserve to get abused physically or mentally. Through him, I realized that no matter how much I thought I loved my ex, I could never be with someone like that. My new boyfriend made me stronger and more confident in myself. We ended up getting married and have a beautiful family. I used to wish I would run into my ex to somehow make him want me or make him jealous.. Not really sure why. But within the past 2 years, I have seen him 3 times. Each time, I don’t want him to see me. None of the “good times” come back. Only the abuse. I have actually ran away from his direction in stores several times… After 5 years of not seeing him, the abuse is all that remains. I never EVER think about him in a positive way. And I am really happy to say that.

  4.  by  Crystal

    Jen or anyone else who cares to answer,
    How do you get over someone like this when you don’t have someone new to help you through it? I ask this in all sincerity. I loved a man who I feel ruined my spirit. I feel so low all the time and for the past year I have fought myself just not to contact him. It has been such a struggle that I cannot be happy. I put all my energy into just being ok. I thought by now thoughts of him would lessen, but I feel just as depressed as ever. I feel like maybe meeting someone new would help the memories of him fade, but I cannot meet anyone in the state I am in. I feel so depressed. Someone please help.

  5.  by  Tom McG

    The bad news, Crystal, is that there is no easy way out. It is not fair how our hearts can betray us and let someone literally destroy our lives. You have been through a tramua that is akin to a horrific car wreak or a plane crash. You are in your hospital bed and you are facing the incredibly steep slopes of learning to walk again; to talk again, to live again. You are really going to need your friends, if you have any left after being “lower than whale shit” as someone used to say, for so long. You can start by trying to repair the relationships with friends. If they are really your friends, they will forgive you and try to help you. But the biggest part of this, unfortunately, is on you alone. You have to force yourself to go out, perhaps take a class, find something that you think might have interested you when you still cared about stuff and then try to do that thing. “Fake it till you make it,” as trite and empty as that phrase sounds, is what you really have to do. Crystal, you can do this. How do I know? Because you are obviously an amazing person; you have been strong enough to survive since the tramua, you have been able to succeed in not contacting him as much as you wanted to…as right as it seemed at that second before you turned away. You are magnificent!! You are. I know you don’t feel that way and may be wondering what I have been smoking, but it is true. You have been surviving and it WILL get better (why does it always take so G-damn LONG???). You can take your life back and rebuild. I wish you all the very best…

  6.  by  Crystal

    Thank you Tom. I wanted to cry just reading that. Because I think the hardest part is believing there is anything good left in me that can be happy one day. I feel so desperate for relief. My world turns every time he tries to contact me. The last 2 times I resisted. But this third time, after a year, I am sorry to say I caved. He parades his happiness in front of me, which includes a new woman 10 years his junior, asking to be my friend and saying he is sorry. All the while he sneaks in comments that he thinks of me, wishes he had knew his problems back then, and brings up moments and nicknames from out past. I feel so much pain. He doesnt want me back but he does this. I am hoping to take some part of my life back, but for now all I can do is cry and sleep. But I thank you so much for your words and the thought that someone cares and understands and still thinks I am special.

  7.  by  Just

    This is happening to me now. My wife of many years has been cheating on me for the past year, everyday at work and going on holidays with his lover in the name of comapny seminars. I love her dearly,even after discovering this I have failed to lose the deep love I have for her. She is the only woman I feel I’ll love to this degree. Though I am pursuing a divorce now, I know I will be missing her everyday. Since our separations I everyday listen to a recording on the answering machine just to hear her voice. I am even scared more reading messages posted on this board that this feeling may go on for even over 3 years, I don’t know how I’ll cope…I can’t live with her for her flaunting disloyalty but again I feel I can’t live without her. Its so painful.

  8.  by  Deborah

    Having experienced many of these same things, I can relate to the pain, confusion, & anger. It is so difficult to recover … Difficult but NOT impossible. There is no way of predicting how long the process will ultimately take, but a committed & willing attitude & a healthy sense of self-esteem help tremendously.

    My heart goes out to both the OP as well as the first individual to respond above. ~ Namaste ~

  9.  by  anon

    I was with a guy who cheated, lied about a heroin addiction, and took complete advantage of me.. he eventually broke up with me

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