Sometimes I wish I had an abusive childhood..

Sometimes I wish I had an abusive childhood..

Sometimes I wish…

I had an abusive childhood.

then maybe i’d have a reason for my self loathing.

12 Comments on “Sometimes I wish I had an abusive childhood..

  1.  by  Kirsten

    You would not want that legacy, it is a very lonely place to be. I would not wish it on anyone. It has taken me nearly 30 years to recover from the abusive childhood I experienced and in that time I lost so much of what my life could have been if only I had loving parents. I can never get that time back. Talk to someone, find a good therapist who can trust and talk to.

  2.  by  Jim Oliver

    You do have a reason, you just haven’t found it yet. I agree with Kirsten. Find a good therapist that you can trust and let them help you to see and heal. Somewhere, someplace you learned to believe a lie.

  3.  by  Somewhere Out There

    This was the first postcard secret I ever saw that actually got me a little bit riled up. How could someone wish something like that on anyone? Even themselves? Maybe if you need an excuse to hate yourself then it can be for wishing something like that on yourself.

    But if you were an abused child then you probably wouldn’t need an excuse to hate yourself because you wouldn’t. I’m a former abused child and I’m a happy person today and if anything it may have made me stronger. But that doesn’t me I ever should have to have gone through it in the first place.

    I agree with the above posters. You might want to seek therapy or at least talk to a close friend.

    If you need some ideas to stop hating yourself wishing you could change the past isn’t going to help but these things might.

    Volunteer for an animal shelter or a soup kitchen or a literacy program where you can help people with reading.

    Adopt a new hobby such as art, drawing, painting, stitching, or collecting something. If you are focused on your outer interests you’ll be a less worried about what’s going on inside you.

    If you don’t have a pet adopting or spending time with baby animals will be good for you. Baby animals actually trigger certain endorphins in your brain that make you happy. The same endorphins that are triggered by human babies.

    This is a tip from a former abused child on how to stay happy. We learned (from a young age) how to focus on something else and keep our minds off of our current (horrible) circumstances. Some of us have developed ADHD from this.

    Anyway, I’m rambling now so I’m gonna stop but I hope that if you read this then it makes you think.

  4.  by  Jenni

    I don’t know if you have to have a reason. Sometimes there is a trigger and you may not know. Sometimes people are experiencing depression and don’t realise it. I’ve suffered severe depression a lot of my adult life and I really have hated myself at times. Maybe don’t worry that you need some sort of reason to feel the way you do (you don’t have to have an excuse). Counselling could be good. I find nature takes me out of myself when I concentrate on that. Hey I hope you start on the path that will lead you in the right direction and find peace with yourself.

  5.  by  Leanne

    Please don’t wish that on yourself. I went through it, and it’s tough. It can either be the making of you or the breaking of you.

    You will need to get to the bottom of your self loathing. Therapy sounds like a good option. Also, do something challenging that requires discipline, like karate. Start building successes in your life that you can look and point too. Live your life by an honor code. Forget self esteem, build self respect. Self esteem is passive, it happens to you so it is fragile. (Daddy didn’t love me so I have low self esteem) Self respect is earned and built by your own efforts. You control it, not others.

  6.  by  Jim Oliver

    Leanne # just gave you the most beautiful and simple advice. She is exactly right.

  7.  by  Sophie

    I know exactly how you feel. I felt the exact same way for a long time. Then it actually happened to me. And now I don’t know if my wish came true or the complete opposite. It sucks. We are all broken, no matter what the events in our life.

  8.  by  anonymous

    This post struck a lot of controversy. Yes, it may be a horrible thing to wish, but being courageous enough to admit it deserves some admiration. I, for one, am really relieved to know it’s not just me. I really, truly hope that you learn how to stop hating yourself. Then pass on that secret

  9.  by  mailman

    I feel your pain. You are only desiring a place from which to start your healing.I have had many of the same thoughts.

  10.  by  chachkimooch

    Having had an abusive childhood, I can honestly say I’m happy you didn’t! I know the whole idea of therapy is scary, but it does get easier once you actually call around, talk to a few on the phone, get a feel for one that you feel comfortable with, make the first appt., and show up for that first session. Then it just becomes a relief to unburden yourself. It feels good to have someone unconditionally in your corner, who doesn’t judge you, or belittle you, no matter how silly or embarrassing you think your problems are. Sometimes, the hardest part about therapy is just showing up!

  11.  by  moogoo

    the abused usually hate themselves, especially in exclusion. I wouldn’t distract yourself and I’m sure you know what is at the root of your self loathing. I would journal, pen, write/type out whatever the hell you feel, read it back when you’re calmer, dissect yourself a little while also airing it out. They always want you to be active and evade your emotions, but some people have super busy lives and this notion can be kinda counter productive. Try to understand what you’re feeling and what solutions are in reach that you want…

    Saying you want to be abused is dramatic, but its also a cry for help, and I bet you might feel neglected in some way that you’d need abuse to get attention or justification. Do you hate yourself or the stereotype of yourself? Its a difference because it has to do with accepting yourself regardless of others which is very powerful in overcoming whether or not your past comes with abuse. Good luck! self<3 is the greatest <3 of all.

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