April 25, 2012
“I’m fine, I promise” are the lies I tell until I can get home and pick up the razor blade and see the beads of blood…
and then I’m ok.
Category: New Secrets
Tags: cutting, lies
totally empathise with you
i tear up the flesh around my finger nails, up to the first joint, till my fingers blead; it hurts a lot, i can’t stop, i find some kind of pleasure in it.
I cut myself for over 10 years, I have huge white scars mainly on my arms, I notice that people’s demeanor’s change when they see them, sometimes I like that but mostly I want everyone to stop looking at me. I’ve been thinking a lot lately of starting to cut myself again because it’s the only way I know of to find relief or release my anger. I haven’t cut for over a year. I had to stop because every time I did the wound needed to be bigger and deeper than the previous time, and I couldn’t continue living like that. I don’t know why I’m saying this on the internet, I’ve never told anyone this is how I’m feeling.
Jess, I just wanted to tell you and this person who wrote the card, that I feel the same way too. I think there are so many of us out there, and yet we always feel as if we’re alone and misunderstood. I understand the need for them to be deeper and bigger the deeper and bigger our pain grows. I had to stop as well, but mostly because people were noticing and it takes a long time for them to heal. I think about it all the time, but I’ve found myself able to overcome it. I’ve been struggling with this for almost 10 years as well and that seems crazy to me. It’s the only way I feel like I can stop being in pain. I wish I could find another solution. I know I’ll never take my life, but I don’t know if I’ll ever stop doing this.
i am glad you still have it you really do keep everything i still have my left hand thanks for making this life and giving it to me
Im fine… is the lie i tell my family. then i cry in the shower so no one will hear me.
I feel completely the same 🙁 my boyfriend who should be my biggest support system tells me I am a pathetic little attention seeker! its not like that, I you just want to punish yourself sometimes for the past.
I feel the same :/ i think no one can feel to that too if he didn’t live this i come to hate my boyfriend i don’t know why but……i have somethink in me & some problem with myself & wanna tell you never and never come back to your past 🙂 and love life (She’ll be LoVE YoU ToO) 🙂 miCha
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