I am 21 years old and still a virgin.

I am 21 years old and still a virgin.

I am 21 years old and still a virgin.

I am so embarrassed by this.

Now I am willing to sleep with a boy I do not love to lose it.

However I am afraid of the pain of having sex for the first time.

This is the only thing stopping me from sleeping with him.

I wish I wasn’t such a wimp!:(

41 Comments on “I am 21 years old and still a virgin.

  1.  by  you, a few years older

    I lost my virginity for pretty much the same reason. Led me through years of thinking all I could do to be cool or popular was have casual sex. Drinking problems. Rape. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Soon someone will love you. I can’t even sleep with someone who does love me anymore because I feel too dirty. Don’t make the same mistake I did.

  2.  by  Amy

    I’m a 20 year old virgin (F) and I DON’T CARE.

    Seriously, why is this such a problem? Quit worrying about how other people will view you and have some self-respect.

    Half my friends lost their virginity to guys they didn’t love and they ALL regret it. I’m holding out for someone I love (haven’t found him yet, though I’ve dated a few times before) so that my first time will be special and meaningful. I refuse to be one of those girls who give it up to a guy who’ll treat it (and me) like another notch on their belt.

    Seriously, girl. Stop worrying about being “cool” and “popular” and focus on what’s best for YOU in the long-run.

  3.  by  same age virgin

    every one I my friends who lost their virginity regrets it-I was the only one of 6 girls that didn’t in our high school group. I’m still a virgin and I’m waiting for the one. I have no regrets -you shouldn’t either-don’t waste something so special on someone who you don’t feel deserves it.

  4.  by  SH

    Being a virgin this day and age is something to be proud of. You’re like a unicorn.

  5.  by  Gill S

    Don’t do with someone you don’t love, find the right person… The one you love..i waited till almost 21 when it happened, but I never regretted to have waited that long because I truly loved that person at that time. You need to be able to trust the guy to relax and it won’t be painful if you love yout man.

  6.  by  CND

    I waited until I found the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I was 24. And I was damn proud of waiting. I had chances, I had opportunities, but I waited. Be glad that you’ve waited too.

  7.  by  Daemon

    DON’T lose it just for the sake of that, there is no need to be embarrassed about it.

    Believe it or not, a good guy will find this very attractive about you!

    A long time ago, I was watching a movie with a girl that I was attracted to, and I told her I wasn’t sure what we are doing, she looked me dead in the eye and said to me with a slight smile: to be honest, I’ve never done this before!

    I was AMAZED that she can be so honest and confident about it, and it made me attracted to her a 100 times more! she ended up being my girlfriend for 2 years until I had to leave the country.

    be PROUD of it! and don’t give it easy! save it for a man who deserves your love and body, for it’s a precious thing!

    Also, you will NEVER forget your first guy, so be sure he’s a good and worthy man!

  8.  by  Rose

    I’m 24 and still a virgin. Nothing to be ashamed of at all.

  9.  by  On-Call Wingman

    In retrospect, I realize I did this. Do not do it. I try to turn every negative life experience into a lesson rather than a regret. Losing my virginity at 20 to him is my first and only regret, because I then found the man I’m going to marry…who was still a virgin because he was waiting for marriage. I cry a little in a good way every time we make love because I’m overwhelmed by the feeling of love I have for him. Don’t lose it just to lose it.

  10.  by  breakingheart

    Daemon, you are a real man. I wish every male the world over had a spirit like yours. Very respectable.

  11.  by  Seth

    Please don’t do this. I’m a 23 y.o. guy and still a virgin too. I have looked for years for a girl with my same feeling that losing your virginity should be with someone you love, not just a hook-up. I’m saving myself for my soul-mate because I want something this special only to be for us to share. I’ve finally met a wonderful woman who feels the same way and we’re taking things slow and getting to know each other and enjoying just spending time together. I respect her so much because she respects and values herself. It just makes her so much more attractive and desireable than the rest who just gave it away. You’ll also find the “one” someday that will love and cherish you ESPECIALLY because you valued yourself.

  12.  by  Jenn

    If you do that, you will regret it forever. You are far more valuable that that.

  13.  by  susi

    dont do it, ull regret it just like i did. im 23 and lost it recently. not worth it and not up to all the hype.

  14.  by  Annie

    Honestly, losing your virginity is overrated. People make such a big deal about it and it really isn’t. I was 22 when I lost mine to a one night stand. I don’t regret it but I do wish I waited for someone special to share it with. That’s probably why I feel like losing your virginity is overrated…

  15.  by  Violet

    I’m almost 23 and still a virgin. I have felt that way too, but at the same time I think it’s also something to be proud of especially in this time/society where people just give it up because they are pressured by peers or society, when it should be something meaningful and special and with someone you actually care about. I almost did lose it to someone I am friends with but didn’t really have a strong liking for him, I thought he was attractive and a nice guy and seemed really interested in me. But then I stopped and said to myself, “do I really wanna go through with this, I’ve kept my virginity for 22 years, and what makes this guy so special to take something I’ve kept for 22 years!?”…*cricket sound*…ya right DENIED!

  16.  by  Lost soul

    I was a virgin till I was 22 to save myself searching for my true love and then I lost it to a prostitute. Now I cant tell my wife, whome I love, about my past.

  17.  by  breakingheart

    To Lost Soul, you need to tell her — Neither you nor she can ever donate blood or plasma for the rest of you lives.

  18.  by  alice

    I was a virgin until the age of 21. I always wanted to lose it to someone who loved me but I gave it away to a man who was horrible to me just because I was embarrassed no one loved me enough to have taken it before then.

  19.  by  Alexandra N.

    Lost virginity at 22 to someone that I love. It’s worth it to wait.

    Contrary to popular belief, your first adventure in the sheets won’t look like the movies or a hot porn flick. Actually real life sex never is, nor looks, that good. It’s a tad overrated.

  20.  by  john

    i had been with a girl i loved for a 2 yrs and in that time we never slept together because she was not ready to and that was never a problem because i loved her, but we eventually broke up because i left for college and distance was a problem. after her i couldnt bring my self to really even try to see anyone else until nearly a yr later i finally learned to let her go because she was gone. i slept with the next girl i met, i was 21, i barely knew her and we only saw each other for a few short weeks. do i regret it no not at all,what i do regret is losing the one i loved

  21.  by  just a guy

    DONT DO IT!! JUST WAIT!!!! All I want is to be able to find a girl who has enough self respect to save herself for someone special.

  22.  by  anonymous

    I was a 28 when I lost my virginity when I met my first lover (now husband). On the third date, I told him about being a virgin and that things probably wouldn’t move along as fast as he’s used to, and he was fantastic about it. We fooled around ALOT the next six weeks until I finally couldn’t wait any longer. It was GREAT and he was so respectful and so supportive during those early days of our relationship (still is). Most men won’t be turned off by how much experience you’ve had in the sack – at least not the ones worth dating and building a relationship with.

  23.  by  breakingheart

    @ anonymous, I’m glad you found a wonderful man. My best friend in the world told me something very wise, though. He said, “Virginity isn’t a virtue. Chastity is a virtue. Virtue is the desire to do good, and a lot of virgins do a lot of unchaste stuff other than have sex, because they’re not strong enough to keep the law of chastity and they think their virginity is what matters…” Even so, I’m glad you’re married to your first; that’s very romantic. Nice guys may finish last, but they are the ones who find joy in this life.

  24.  by  breakingheart

    @ just a guy,You shouldn’t be so judgmental about women who aren’t virgins. Most girls who lose their virginity by the time they graduate high school were raped when it happened. They generally don’t talk about it because they’re ashamed, etc. They needn’t be. A lot of these girls get raped by way of coercion…Their date or boyfriend or whatever says some dumb guy-speak line, like “Well, why don’t I come over and we’ll talk…” and the girl doesn’t know that everything a guy says is a line, that he’s really just looking to get laid, so she agrees to the line he uses, unwitting that she is –in his mind — saying yes to sex. Well, it’s pretty embarrassing to admit to having been duped so drastically, so easily, especially into something like sex…They’re traumatized, too, and they know the case against their rapist would appear weak in court. For some reason, girls don’t tell other girls (virginal ones) about guy-speak, and by the time I found out the hard way about guy-speak, I was so old, no teenaged girl would have listened to me about it. It really breaks my heart that I can’t help anyone with this problem. I can’t even help my daughter with this ’cause I don’t have one, and by the time my sweetheart gets around to proposing to me (IF he ever gets around to proposing…I think he’s AGAINST marriage. His whole family is, actually), I probably won’t be able to have a baby safely, anyway. But I won’t have any children without being married first, and what can ya do when you’re already in love with someone who was raised in a family in which NOBODY EVER GETS MARRIED? And he found me, so what the hell? I can’t continue this tangent any further.

  25.  by  anon

    I was 21 and a virgin when I got married. I regretted not having sex with the boy I was in love with at 18 years old. I got my chance, he was my rebound when I left my ex. But I wanted him to be so much more than just a ‘rebound’. I’ve never ever gotten over him. I married my ex because the way he walked reminded me of that first love.

  26.  by  Kathy

    I’m a virgin and I am 24 years old. I am waiting for the man I will spend the rest of my life with. 🙂

  27.  by  Tom McG

    Is sex fun and does it feel good? Yes. But I have never been able to enjoy sex with someone I didn’t really care about. It is all about the connection and the love. The first time, especially for girls, is SO important and meaningful. I think as you get older the more important the connection with your partner is so you see more and more that you don’t want “meaningless” sex. Good for you sticking to your principles. The actual first time may not be anything great…you will both be nervious, etc, but things will grow into something really special. You can hold out!! You WILL find someone who respects you and your values. All the best to you!

  28.  by  spec

    @ Alexandra N – I’m sorry but real life sex is awesome. I have no comment on waiting or not waiting, but sex is incredible when you are really in love and compatible with that person. It’s BETTER than the movies!

  29.  by  Anon

    I wanted my first time to be with someone I cared about & felt the same for me. At 31 I got sick of waiting and finally had sex with some guy at work. Waiting didn’t break my heart, but the fact that no one ever tried getting close most certainly did.

  30.  by  breakingheart

    @ Anon,
    It totally sucks to be waiting, searching, and unable to find someone who is really that great, who appreciates you for all the wonderfulness that is in you. Finally, someone found me; he is The Love of My Life, and it is so hard to be apart from him at this time. But he loves me for everything that I am, even with all my flaws. I love him so very much, and he is so much better than even the guys I never considered to be the crap I had to weed though before him, than even the guys whom I thought were decent fellas that I thought may have been loves. It’s not too late for you to regain chastity (though not virginity), and be with someone who will love you for you. The guy from your work is a sleaze…Kick him to the curb, where he will go out with the rest of the trash!

  31.  by  giscindy

    To breakingheart Where did you get the idea that you can’t donate blood if you have sex with a prostitute? If that was true the Red Cross would REALLY be in trouble!

  32.  by  breakingheart

    To giscindy, try reading the Red Cross’s forms that you have to fill out before giving blood. I used to love giving blood, but no longer can which has nothing to do with anything kind of illicit activities (in which I, for one, do not engage; thank you). The last time I gave blood, no man could donate if they had had sex with a prostitute, even while using a condom. Have you ever donated blood? If so, how well did you read the mandatory paperwork, jerkface?
    And yes, the Red Cross needs more people to step up and donate. If you turn green afterwards (as one person I saw did), feel free to avoid it, but it’s not too much to expect of EVERYONE that they live clean enough lives that they are able to donate blood at a moment’s notice, if necessary.

  33.  by  Beth

    Don’t be ashamed of your virginity. Also, don’t be afraid of the pain. It actually doesn’t hurt that bad.

  34.  by  broken heart

    Concerning the pain, says YOU, Beth. I was in so much pain, I could barely walk or sit down until I went to bed that night, and the jerk penetrated me at around 1:30 pm. I didn’t go to bed until about midnight. The physical pain was gone by the time I arose the following morning. Granted, it was coercive rape, but he wasn’t huge or anything. The amount of pain varies from person to person, as does the person’s pain-threshold. Some people seem to have hymen of steel, and others barely have anything in the way of hymen. There’s also the masturbation/ toy factor to consider. Everybody is different, Beth. By telling her that it doesn’t hurt that much, it seems like you’re encouraging her to have sex with the guy she doesn’t love. That is bad form. :/

  35.  by  MadMad

    I was a virgin until I was 19, and I lost it to a guy who turned out to be a complete and utter dickhead. I literally had no idea who he really was until I slept with him.
    Now, I didn’t have sex because I was ashamed of being a virgin, I did it because I really wanted to have sex, and thought the first time was going to be shit and painful anyway so I may aswell just get that over with so I can get to the fun part…..unfortunately I did lose it to this prick, and though I don’t regret doing it, I regret who I did it with.
    My advice to you would be: don’t do it unless you are seriously ready for it. It can be so much fun and you can make such a connection with someone, but make sure you are not doing it for the wrong reasons! Don’t do it because you are ‘ashamed’ to say you are a virgin, because honestly, most men like it when they know you havent slept with anyone else. It makes them feel more special. Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of, if anything in this day and age it is something to be very proud of at your age! most girls lose it at 15 or even younger so I congratulate you for not giving in to peer pressure thus far, and hope you will continue not to let pressure get the best of you!
    good luck to you my friend and I hope you find someone who will treat you with respect and go at your pace. 🙂

  36.  by  sophie

    I lost it at 19 for the same reason. he never talked to me again. wasn’t worth it.

  37.  by  Settledown

    Alright, everybody. Can we calm down about this?

    OP, if your virginity is important to you, then wait. But do it for you. The opposite is also true– if it’s not a big deal to you, go for it. Nobody has the right to judge you based on who you have or haven’t slept with.

    I think a lot of people overstate the impact losing your virginity has on your life. At the end of the day, sex is sex. It’s not some magical experience that determines your worth as a person. With a good partner, it’s fun and exciting and close, and if you don’t want to broadcast it, you don’t have to. What you do with your body is nobody else’s business.

    Just take care of yourself! Protect yourself, be safe. You are valuable and deserve to be happy (and whether you’re a virgin has nothing to do with that)!

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  39.  by  Heena

    I wish you didn’t feel so ashamed of being a virgin, because there’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s normal to wait for someone you want to share that experience with. It’s normal to simply not want to have sex. Vice versa. And as for pain, there shouldnt be any on the first time,or any other times after that. If there IS pain, then someone’s being too rough, or someone has a medical condition. For example, vaginismus is a condition where the vaginal muscles clench closed, making penetration Impossible or extremely painful. You should visit scarleteen. Com, it’s a great sex ed site for young adults, and for anyone really curious about how their own body works.

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