March 28, 2012
2 months ago I asked a stranger for 20 dollars, I told her the truth.
That my family & I are struggling to make ends meet.
She just said “No, I don’t think so” and then walked away.
Category: New Secrets
Tags: help, stranger
its sad but this is the world we live in… i wish it could be better…
I try my best to always help people even starngers when they ask me for money or food even when I barely have enough for my own family. People care less about other and more about themselves, it makes me sad. I am so very sorry.
If it helps I’d have given you whatever I’d had in my pockets to help.
Please do not take this personally. Unfortunately there are more “walking dead” than there are buried. This was Spirit giving this person a heads up on their judgement and compassion…..and you were the gift that could have made the difference of a lifetime for them. Just know that you are far richer than they are in this moment. …..Love & Light to you….
I almost never give money to the needy, I only give resources that I can no longer put into my own service. Once a fellow asked for some change. He was clearly starving to death – close to death. I can imagine the pain and desperation. I gave him nothing because the world is full of suffering and the suffering in front of me deserves no more consideration just for being in front of me. But I always remember him to keep me motivated to maximize my positive effect on the world.
Miles, you may be the worst human being I’ve ever seen post on here.
Yeah, really, Miles. Have some compassion for others.
I’d like to help those suffering in front of me, sometimes I cave and I do. But I know that if I could do more good with that dollar elsewhere then really I’ve just reduced my positive impact.
I have nothing but compassion for others. I eat enough to be comfortable, have a roof over my head, and enjoy enough basic inexpensive and non-consumptive forms of entertainment to keep me sane(ish). Everything else goes to fixing the suffering I see in the world. Much of that is through systemic practices like eating less meat because one meaty meal drives up food prices by consuming enough agricultural resources to feed many. I apply this to every aspect of my life. I don’t eat chocolate (except fare-trade)- because it’s produced by slave children. I minimize electronics purchases and research the ones I do make to avoid conflict minerals. All my resources remaining after paying for my own (very humble) existence go toward projects that help solve problems in the world profitably so that I can use that profit to solve more problems.
I’m a fucking machine of compassion because I don’t just empathize with the suffering in front of me – it’s no more real than the suffering anywhere else and how can I rest when I have it good and someone somewhere is in agony?
I hate it when people ask me for money. Not because I don’t want to give them any, but because I usually don’t carry cash with me and it makes me sad that I can’t help 🙁
Carry with you a specific amount of cash set aside for just such an encounter…..your sadness is a clue that you CAN help….with little effort….and GREAT joy 🙂
I have given money to people in need, I have let them live in my home, I have given them my time and as much help as I could and it always ends badly with them choosing to return to the situations they so badly wanted to get away from. You can’t help people who refuse to help themselves and unfortunately the ones that really need help are the ones that are too proud to ask for it.
Miles. don’t be an asshole. If you see someone starving buy them a bread and get them a warm coffee. :/ I’ve seen a lot of people who just do not have enough to eat. Hell, I myself only had money to pay my rent and then a little left over for food. I would buy a bag of grains that were inexpensive and eat the same thing over and over. I was not a homeless person, I was in college. There are circumstances when people do not have enough to eat or something happened. You do not have to give them money, but the fact that you would not even offer a warm coffee shows me what an asshole you are. You can also point them to organizations that can help them, but no you decide to be a disgusting scrub.
I never give cash to people who ask, but I will take them over to the nearest restaurant and buy them a meal or to the shelter and make a donation to help them. Once I gave cash to a man who asked and I watched him walk right into a bar and buy a drink. I went in and told him if that is what he wanted I would have bought him a drink and he should not have lied. That is why most people do not want to give to the needy
There are organizations in every major city to help people in need (hunger, abuse, clothes, housing, soul, etc.).
What’s more likely, that they’re on the street and about to die because they couldn’t find ANY person or organization to help them AT ALL, or because they want the money for booze, drugs, and other such things?
And don’t give me that “too proud” nonsense; if you’re too proud to use what’s available to you then there is nothing that can be done to help. And if they’re truly insane, then what difference would it make once way or the other if you gave them money? (The fact that something should be done for the insane on the streets is another issue entirely.)
Sadly we just never know if a person is in need or just needy. sorry luv i hope things get better.
miles, you just suck
Miles, are you sure youre not Tom? You sound just like my brother in law… he is also an asshole.
My first post may have sounded a little harsh. It’s accurate, but the important emphasis is on the last sentence. The only reason I won’t give in one place is if my giving can do more good in another. And I do give there.
The first comment here was “its sad but this is the world we live inâ€¦ i wish it could be betterâ€¦” Well it can be. We can fix the system that leave people to suffer and I use every resource I can to do it. Yesterday I arranged financing for my first low income sustainable (almost net zero) housing project. It will keep people off the streets and free up resources for those that are while helping the environment.
I don’t want people to think there are a lot of assholes out there or normalize that type of behavior. Really, most people are good and want to make a difference.
people like miles make me sick to my stomach. I didnt read any of his responses because I dont want to hear anything someone like him has to say. People like MILES is why we are having the problems on earth we are having, GREED. I believe in karma whole heartedly and if I seen you out needing money and I had any to give, youd have got it.
God watch over the hungry and poor, and keep them warm on cold nights. amen
I tried to give a homeless man food one time because I didnt have cash and told me he was hungry. Instead he threw the sandwich at me and tried to stab me with a switchblade. He tainted the way I feel about the homeless. I will never try to help again. Im not giving you money so you can put another needle in your arm.
people like Christel Platt make me disappointed in people. I read all of Mile’s responses because I want to hear what someone like him and anyone who has an opinion has to say. People like Christel is why we are having the problems on earth we are having, Closed-mindedness. I believe in doing good without any expectations, whole heartedly and if I seen you out needing money and I had ideas about how i could improve the actual situation, i would have gone to school, shared those ideas, and made them a reality.
God watch over the hearts of men and women, so that they can care for the hungry and poor, and keep them warm on cold nights. amen
Think globally. Act locally!
I feel bad because I literally have nothing to give, however I do donate when I can. For example, I donated some baby stuff to a girl I knew. She claimed to have been kicked out of her house, living with her boyfriend, in squalor. Turns out she was living with her parents, very well off, and wanted it to sell it for some pocket money. I was furious. Did that stop me from giving to others? No. Someone once said that it’s the actions and intent of the giver that counts, not the choice of the receiver. I agree with the offering food items instead of money. Someone who is truly hungry will accept.
Miles actually seems to have a much bigger heart than many, MANY other people in the world. I’m sure he’s done more good on a broader scale than any one of you. I’m always very giving when it comes to homeless people (even though it is a shame when they turn out to use it for something unhelpful to themselves) and I too feel a dislike for people who can walk by someone in need without a second thought.. so, by all means, I’m on your side.. but, everyone seems to be so ignorant to what Miles is saying; it actually makes a lot of sense and is not an asshole act in the least. Miles, congratulations on your efforts, I think what you do/are doing is great. Nonetheless, even though I understand your point, if you see someone really suffering, from cold weather or whatever it is, it can’t hurt to buy a warm drink on occasion.. or offer some time to have a chat. Sometimes giving people the time of day when they think they’ve turned invisible is more valuable than anything else you can offer.
Also, Christel Platt is an ignorant, moronic twit who was the reason my anger flared up enough to actually comment on here.
@ Kelsey….he might have been schizophrenic or had some other mental illness, as so many homeless people do. Please don’t take that personally.
And to whoever said if you’re on the street, you shouldn’t be because there are organizations to help…? Um, no. I was homeless for 3 months, not a drug addict or anything, and the shelters told me NOT TO STAY there because I would more than likely get raped. I chose to take my chances sleeping on the street. I never asked for money, but if I had, I would have bought food. I remember being hungry, starving, all the time and the last thing I needed was someone offering to buy me food and then sitting across from me, making me more ashamed. I suffer from anxiety, too, and I would have passed up the offer of food just because of the panic associated with having to interact with a stranger, or even having them in my personal bubble.
Not every homeless person is a drug addict or an alcoholic. I give to whomever, whenever, because even though I was working, I couldn’t afford a place or food. All of my money went to shitty motels and gas for my car so that some nights I could sleep in it and stay warm.
Just give the damned dollar or whatever you have. You won’t miss it and it might lift someone’s spirits and buy them whatever keeps them from walking into traffic for one more day.
We don’t know this woman’s situation before she said I don’t think so and we therefore shouldn’t judge her. I know for a fact that I could afford to give a stanger or anybody for that matter $20. I’m disappointed in those who have made bad comments about her.
i remember that guy in philly who begged me for money: i offered him the burger and fries i had just bought for my son: he refused it, laughing. maybe he was vegan. he actually looked hungry, unlike most.
i still help out when i can. perhaps miles should have helped that guy, perhaps not. i’ve tried to maintain helpful contact with the homeless or soup kitchens all my life, though, honestly, i am poorer than many homeless folk who have disability checks
$20 is a LOT to my family. 1/5 of my weekly food budget. If I were to give it to some random stranger I wouldn’t be able to feed my own children. I would have said no as well. Just because you ask doesn’t mean the other person has it.
Miles, you’re a bastard. I’d like to punch you in the throat
$20 is a lot of money, and you’re not the only one in the world who is struggling. It’s tough but that’s life–your problems aren’t anyone else’s responsibility.
Do you people honestly not realize that Miles is a troll?
And before you all jump on my for being heartless–my family has eaten out of garbage cans. High school was a nightmare–you think it’s hard when you can’t afford the right brand of jeans? Trying getting your clothes from Goodwill and see what they say. I’ll do charity work, but don’t get mad that some stranger won’t give you $20. Your existence isn’t anyone else’s responsibility.
I walked past a Mother and child who were asking for money and felt so badly I went back with cash (which I did not have at the time). They were gone, and I can’t get them out of my mind. I wish I had not averted my eyes and asked her to wait, told her I would be back . . . it haunts me.
I go to college in a city and I completely understand where Miles is coming from. My friend offered to buy a woman some food from McDonalds and, instead of ordering a burger and fries, ordered an entire meal, plus apple pies, plus an extra drink, and was very rude to my friend the entire time. After my friend gave her the food, the woman proceeded to ask her for money to catch a bus HOME. What I have learned is that a good deal of the people on the streets are not actually homeless or needy.
feelin your pain. i asked a man for a quarter or 50 cents to help me buy a can of soup for my kid and he said he wouldn’t get involved. so i stole it. i’ll never ask another stranger for help but will always give all i can to them
Thank you Miles. I believe in the big picture, working on the system, and I do so to the best of my ability. I do give food to those on the streets, but not money.
Your school experience describes you and also helps to mildew you into that employable man or woman all corporations are interested in. However it is you that helps yourself along the way by learning and seeking knowledge and realizing in your decided on sector. This is actually the way you are ideal to companies who want someone that is familiar with what we do or are willing to understand their task on the road.
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