January 8, 2015 by Fire Girl Hi everyone . this is very embarassing . I have some Comfort in reading everyone story. i just recently met my first cousin , I’ve never met him before last week . my Family is very dysfuctional theres people who are alcoholics, Drug addicts. I mean my oldest sister is a herion addict, i didn’t see much of my mother side of the family growing up. both my parents have six siblings each . my first cousin on my mom side . his biological mother is my aunt. i’ve met her a hand ful of times , i don’t even remember. she couldn’t take care of her 4 kids. for all i know two of them were put up for adoption , the ones i know now. lets call them (Lissa, and Jerome ) well she is still in contact with our family , i guess maybe never really lost in touch after being adopted as a kid, she has three kids. Jerome , i believe has 2 boys .idk hes single. well i met him for the first time last week for a family funeral . we hit it off pretty well . my family . my mom and Lissa and him and i were joking over cards , on who is getting the D . His. but now that hes gone and he text me. and he seems real serious on having something with me. to everyone else he was joking and that nothing will happen. but what if i allow it? what If i allow myself to like him romantically. my family is already messed up enough. one sister is addict, the only is being abused by her baby’s daddy. what next me , dating my first cousin. that is not normal in our society . i care way to much on how others see me. he tells me he loves me, and he says he really likes me and i can trust him and he wont hurt me. after i told him i cant trust no one. i keep telling myself its for sex . or he is some perve. like , he didn’t hesitate about it. like it seems normal for him to go after relatives? haha . to me , it has nothing to do with religion . its what others think of me. seeing all of you fighting against your feelings for your first cousin, second cousin. i didn’t even know him til recently . we were friends on facebook for a year never spoke a word. and when he came up . BOOM! here comes trouble. i have trouble being vulnurable to other guys that arent related to me . add cousin to the mix . how am i suppose to handle intimacy with a cousin . ?? i always wanted my parents approval. I’ve never felt good enough , so how will they see me now? another mistake? will they say what did they do wrong to have three daughters who are messed up in the head. then its about .. i know its early. but what about children? I mean what if i got pregnant ? will my child have mental problems? i have a learning disability myself. so i don’t want my child to face the same issues. I want my child to be intelligent , i want my child to feel normal. i want children . i’m 22 and my cousin is 28 . a year older than my oldest sister. so that is awkward. but i guess my sisters have something else to use on me. say something like atleast we’re not a perve . you can’t find a boyfriend that isn’t in the same bloodline? god i don’t want to be judged. what am i suppose to do? i need advice . i need someone to tell me they had children and they turn out find , that my feelings are okay. its not like i knew him. i would never date my cousins on my dad side. i knew them all my life . and i just never would . its a bad example. but amish / polygamy people are married off to a cousin. besides the without their concent part. their children come out normal ,.. for what i know .