When I was little my father molested me

When I was little my father molested me

I have never told anyone

Because of him I have a secret in my happy marriage

And I hate it

90 Comments on “When I was little my father molested me

  1.  by  Helpless

    Karma #
    I also read your comment and while I still am not able to be touched till this day I often fantasize about what happened to me, its good to know I am not alone.

  2.  by  lola

    every time I read this I die a little’ for me it was my brother and I’m getting married in 6 Months…. And it will never be told

  3.  by  Helpless

    Helpless #
    10.28.2011 15:02
    50

    When I was seven I was molested by two different people till I was 10,I never told anyone, the day before I was going to tell my family I discovered that my own father went to prison for the molesting his step daughter, what on earth should I do?

  4.  by  newmrs

    My husband and I both shared our past sexual abuses and it made us so much closer. You spouce will love you just the same. They will not judge you or blame you or pity you. They will embrace it and help you heal. Tell your spouce – for both of you.

  5.  by  Daisy

    I was molested by my father and one of the first things I did when I started dating my husband was tell him. It was a difficult thing to do. I don’t regret it. We have been married almost 20 yrs, have a great relationship and the sex is great too. Not sure it would have been this way if I had kept that awful secret to myself…

  6.  by  Karma

    You should tell them, be brave. You are not helpless.

  7.  by  Confused

    I let the best relationship I ever had die because I never told him my dad molested me. I am in a new relationship now and I told my new guy on the first date – I confuse myself.

  8.  by  MysteriousGirl

    I have the same secret. Only pne person in the world besides us knows. And he abandoned me days later. I hate that I’ll never be able to tell who I marry what happened. It makes me cry sometimes. But it scares me more to think about reliving it again.

  9.  by  Seri

    Fighting Molech, I really hope you are fighting, and i hope one day you, or soemone like you, will see this comment.

    You NEED to go to the authorities about this. That sounds very very scary, but it NEEDS to be done. I hope you have spoken with your sisters enough to convince them they need to tell the truth, because if this bad man can be locked up, they will never EVER have to be scared of him again, and they will never EVER EVER be harmed by him again. What your mother has done goes against every single mothering instinct in the world, putting a man first over her babies. Despicable. It may hurt to try to talk to someone, and it may be hard at first especially since they denied it to a specialist, but keep trying, you must, FOR THEM. Because if your mom doesn’t love them enough to fight for their safety, who will? They need to get away from that unsafe house, and whomever they speak to, they MUST MUST impress upon them their fear of ever returning or ever seeing that awful man again. Easier said than done, but DO press on. Their little lives depend on you!!!

  10.  by  Steph

    If you can’t talk to your husband, talk to a therapist. This will eat you alive if you don’t. I was raped at 17. You cannot start healing until you start talking- secrets keep you sick. I am with the love of my life who supports me and although telling him was scary and hard, it was worth the outcome. We are closer than ever. I feel safer and more protected than every before.

  11.  by  sain

    my brothe molested me when i was little its destroying my life as i get older but i cant tell any one in case i destroy his fam hes a perfect dadand i know hed never do anything to anyone again

  12.  by  Beth

    my step father did the same thing for 12 years and when i finally told, everyone was there for me, including the man i’m going to marry. we have no secrets and tho it was hard to tell about this, i’m glad i did. it finally stopped.

  13.  by  Vivian

    I was molested by my step dad..I thought I would never tell anyone.Then when I finally came out to my mom she’d rather suspect me of lying them him possibly doing that. So I was both self loathing and felt alone. But then I felt even worse when I found out he was harassing my underage friends as well. I never want him to ruin another person’s life like that again. After I came out to my friend’s, my boyfriend at the time, and to the police I felt so much better.

  14.  by  Lost

    I was molested from the age of 6years old to about 13years old til this day i try so hard to block it out but i always have my moments were i cant hold it in and blame myself for it. I see him every time i go see my grandma and i have to act normal it kills me inside every-time. My fiance of 6years will never know and it kills me inside to know i keep things from him but sometimes its the best thing to do.

  15.  by  lonely me

    My father molested my adopted daughter for a few years. Found out it was not his first time. Moved away to keep her safe and my little daughter safe also. He thinks its not blood so it was ok. I was adopted to! I have been carring this anger for years and she accepts money from him all the time!! Money for his guilt? My other 2 biological kids suffer cause of it.

  16.  by  broken dreams

    I was molested 4 different men…the last being my step father….it negatively impacted my marriage…my husband often did things that reminded of my abuse..:…after 14 years of marriage I told him….at that time….it was too kaye to repair the damage….we eventually divorced…you may want to consider telling…….at least talk to someone…

  17.  by  broken dreams

    I was molested by 4 different men…the last being my step father….it negatively impacted my marriage…my husband often did things that reminded of my abuse..:…after 14 years of marriage I told him….at that time….it was too kaye to repair the damage….we eventually divorced…you may want to consider telling…….at least talk to someone…

  18.  by  crying wolf

    be strong telling ur spouse will only give u more support and if he truly loves u then he will be there for u through every step of recovery

  19.  by  crying wolf

    also dont forget there is power in numbers so telling your loved ones will only make recovering easier

  20.  by  Silence can kill

    I’m 17 years old. in 5th grade my brother began molesting me, and finally stopped when I was in 8th grade. I could never harbor a hate for him, but I harbored it for myself. He was the only one who cared about me and then he did… that. I did not know how to handle it… I started cutting when he started molesting me, because I thought I was worthless. Why wouldn’t I feel that way? the only person who cared about me thought I was worthless enough to take my innocence and destroy it. And yet I kept forgiving him… and I still forgive him. I was afraid to tell my parents because I thought they would exile him from our family.. all I wanted to do was tell someone, but I couldn’t. No one would believe me anyway.. during an argument with my father about the severity of my cutting, it finally came up. He refuses to believe it still to this day. I can’t help but to feel empty.. and immensely confused. is it strange that I want to hate my brother for what he’s done to me but I can’t bring myself to do it? I can’t even tell my boyfriend… I’m so scared because I don’t understand. Your post sparked these memories and is finally giving me a chance to truly get this off my chest… Thank you so very much. I apologize for not being able to give any advice in return.. But I hope that I give solace that you are not alone.

  21.  by  Lul

    Secrets cannot survive in sunlight. Tell SOMEBODY.

  22.  by  Restored #

    i was molested by my uncle when i was a little girl. i never told anyone and thought i would be fine keeping it to myslef. plus the thought of telling scared me more than the thought of death, i vowed i never ever would. but i was screaming to be free on the inside. When i was 18 i found someone by complete divine intervention, who could help me. it was the scariest moment of my life but i told her what happened, she never judged me or pittied me, she helped me heal, she held my hand as i told my parents. they reslly exsist, the poeple that wont judge you. im getting married in 5 months and my husband to be knows all about it, wouldnt have it any other way, its so freeing and healing even though right now you see it as impossible. the memories dont have to control you, the dirty feeling doesnt have to rule your life. stick it to your father by rising up victorious and taking the life he stole from you back, its scary, but oh so worth it! im praying for you.

  23.  by  anon

    i was raped at 16 years old. i have never had sex since and don’t tell anyone about it in real life.

  24.  by  K

    Love, I would tell him. If he really loves you he will understand why you kept it from him so long and he will support you. Only good things will come from the truth of this secret. You will have someone who fully loves everything about you! :0)

  25.  by  olivia

    I just want to tell all of you that it NOT your fault.No matter what people told you, you should never think that what happened is your fault.

    Ask God to give you the streght to forgive the person who did this for you. I’m not saying that it is easy to forgive, the reason why i am saying this is because the resentiment can kill slowly. To forgive is to set yourself free, so you can move forward. It may take time, but trust in God to give you enough streght to do it.

    ‘To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.’
    Lewis B. Smedes

    Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

    Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

  26.  by  maryd

    i told my mother i was molsted by my stepfather ,but she didnt believe me. i had therapy but the lady wasnt really giving advice,the police said if i wanted to report i said yea but he left out of the country came back the next year but i never got any hepl. My mom still dnt believe me and i havent told noone since,i feel so alone. my whole family knows about it except my little brother wich is his son.

  27.  by  s

    I was molested by my brothers until I was 16,close to 10year. I never told anyone and no one ever knew. I was always too afraid to tell,I thought I would be taken away or no one would believe me. The possibility of my mother not believing me and then thinking there’s something wrong with me is probably the biggest reason I never told. But now it’s because it would ruin their lives. One has a family and the other a girl friend of several years. but sometimes I’m terrified for his daughter and that that might happen to her, but I can never explain to anyone why I’m over protective of her.
    Now I’m in a relationship, I told him that I was molested but not by who. And he doesn’t ask,he knows by my silence that its something he probably doesn’t want to hear. I never thought I would tell. I thought I would be able to keep it secret forever but lately its been boiling up and eating away at me to tell someone. I don’t want to thouh and I’m afraid to find out what will happen if I don’t,but I know I can’t. I know I will always have unanswered question, of why, why did you do that to me, your little sister, You’re the reason I don’t trust people. Sometimes I want to ask, but I feel like they don’t remember doing that to me.

  28.  by  UNTITLED

    You were too good for them to have- They were greedy. SCREW THEM

  29.  by  Ladida

    My father molested me from the time I was 6 to about 10. I finally told my husband after 9 years into our relationship. It felt good to finLly let out my awful secret after suppressing and denying it for years. I’m 28 y/o this year and feel relieved knowing that I’m no longer carrying my secret ard by myself.. I hope you’re able to find relief by sharing yr secret here..

  30.  by  KP

    Even though I am not a girl I understand because my Step-Brother molested and raped me for seven years and I am hoping one day I ca find a girl that will love me even though I have been abused but I would tell my future wife because I want there ti be no boundaries in our relationship so I encourage you to tell him but it is up to you. I have rold a few close friends of what has happened and they have embraced me and I have grown because of that and I they now are my best friends (guys and girls) and opening up to a guy after one abused me and hurt me so deeoly but it was one of the best things I have done because it helps you feel freer. It hurts you more then it ever hurt them and you suooressing it only hurts you more start with someone who will love you no matter what (your spose) because then it makes it easier and someone shares your pain and helps carry you and makes you feel less weighted and overwhelmed.

  31.  by  AMM

    secrets weigh you down. i promise you, you will feel better telling him. All of you on here, TELL someone! anyone! i don’t care if it’s your friend, family member, or a stranger, you need to get this off your chest. you have done NOTHING wrong, don’t ever feel that way. telling your secret can help save other people from this same abuse.

  32.  by  beeboo

    I told my husband about it after keeping it hidden for so long. He didn’t really care at all. Nor did he ever try and help me. It’s been 6 years since then and i’ve never uttered it again and the pain is only getting worse.

  33.  by  Fishes

    I was molested by 2 Men from when I was 4-7 years old. I kept it inside for so long it became a festering sore that made me so ill I cut everyone off and never let anyone get close to me. After my attempted suicide I finally sought help and after 2 years of counseling I finally told a friend, my sister and my mom. I can not tell you how different I feel now. It still haunts me and my relationships with men but I am so much better now. If you can’t talk to someone you know find a counselor. It get’s so much better!

  34.  by  Silent Screamer

    I am the victim of child abuse. I am 47 years old and want to hold my father accountable. I have spent the entire day reaching out to anyone, everyone and no one can help. I need someone to hear me.

  35.  by  Emma

    Silent Screamer #
    I hear you and I know that pain. Try to reach out to someone you trust. But most importantly, seek professional help – a psychologist or counsellor. I did! And now at 42, I am finally able to live my life, free of shame, anger, fear and sadness.
    I still have scars. But the professional support I get and the love of my husband helps me move forward. At times i’m even very happy – a feeling I never thought i’d experience.
    For years I was feared going to the police – out of shame, or a belief that I provoked the abuse, a fear of family reprisal – but I finally did and boy is he petrified!
    He’s denying it of course. And he may never be sentenced. But he and I know, and my husband, and the family and the police – The Truth. And THAT has set me free.
    The truth will set you free!

  36.  by  hope

    I just want to say how brave I think you all are… And how courageous.. and I hope that you all get through your hardships because life isn’t supposed to be difficult… God bless you all.

  37.  by  generation curse

    Hearing all these testimonies make my knees buckle heart race and stomache turn.just like most of you I too am a victime of child abuse from my father.me along with my sister and 4 aunts.I finally broke away by not coming home one day after school. (unintionally) I refused to go home until a law enforcement found me jus a few day befor that my sister confessed to me that she was also being molested by our father and that she told not only our mother but several ohter family members and nothing was done its was swept under the rug so I refused to go home to the torcher my father would put me through.no law enforcement ever found me but the mother of my friend who I ran away with told my mother in which, I confessed to her ,and that led to my father ultimmently leaving for good.my abuse went back as far as my memory can go up until I was 12.I still see my father arounf town from time to time but it is my sister who struggles with it more than I do. About a few years later I found out it also happend to my dads siters and my moms sisters.how sad that it could of been prevented.but through christ my life has changed for the better I have a wonderful husband 6 beautiful children and a heavenly father who will never forsake me!I know in my heart I’ve forgivin and if its of gods will to have him punished here on earth or wait till judgement day or if the lord chooses to forgive him I trust in the lord because the lord has set me free from all my burdens that have been on my heart!I know now that the more I dwell on the past the more power that my abuser has over me and that I will not give to him!so ladies and some gentalmen please don’t give them the benift of know that there still wining by the nitmare still going on in your daily life. God loves you!

  38.  by  Three: forty-seven am

    I’m a 20 year old male who has been molested many times from the time I was 9 untill I was about 17 by different people, one of which was a school teacher when I was in the 9th grade as a high school freshman. The man who was at the time a 40-something year old man with a family a young boy and a young daughter. I’ve never told… It has hurt over many years as I think about what lives those children could be living now as I’ve always wondered why I didn’t listen to my deep gut feelings that told me that soemthing was wrong. I was hurt over and over again and constantly finding myself in the same senario and situations over and over again.
    I wanted to die… sometimes I still do… I was confused about my sexuality for a long long time untill I recently just got to a point in which I don’t want to address sex at all.
    I have had (and sometimes still do)tremors now caused by anxiety…Even hearing about children being abused brings flash backs and all sorts of torments that I’ve been through… Even when I’m in a crowd of people sometimes I am terrified to inaction, or I worry about what’s going on around me who’s standing too close or something silly like that. The damage that has been done is not fully repaired… I’ve talked to three different psychologist but I don’t want to relive something to get over it there is nothing there I want to know.
    I had someone in my life that I was in love with untill he shared his stories of abuse with me and how he wanted it to happen, I remeber him saying it wasn’t abuse at all with him but like some strange expression of his sexual urges….
    I’m really helping my self heal through it all I started not too long ago.

    The choice to tell your husband is your own. I believe it will greatly benift your relationship with him as you together embark on your healing process. Remeber when your sharing yourself with your husband or even a boyfriend it is of your own free will it’s different than someone taking something from you, because he too is sharing his self with you.

  39.  by  ME

    I was molested by 2 different men before I was 8, and later a woman, the wife of one men. She found out, caught us having sex and joined in and continued to play with me later. I have to admit I enjoyed the attention and the sex. Yes the sex, it felt good and I looked forward to it.

    I don’t think it messed with me or my identity, I still look back on it fondly. What I think it did do was let me know I was bi sexual.

    I married a woman and am now manogamous and I am happy with this. The problem is, I don’t think there should be secrets in marriage so I told her about it. She says it discusses her that I had sex with men and enjoyed it. I have not had sex with any one except her, man or woman since I met her, but did actively engage in sex with both up until then.

    Things are different now, the sex isn’t the same and she looks at me differently. I don’t know if she can over come her feeling or not. She is obviously a sexual orientation bigot. I still believe in no secrets in a relationship, but as hell wished I had kept this one.

  40.  by  Uccelino

    Here is my secret:
    I was molested by a friend of my family when I was 4. I hate to think that this was my first man I touched. Because it was not violent and I often thought that it was not as bad as someone who has been molested for years. The most difficult part to accept is that I have the memory that I enjoyed it and hated it at the same time. But now I understand that every abuse matters in its own way and that experiences vary and are unique.
    I wonder if I will ever stop noticing when people inadvertently touch me in the bus.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>