83 thoughts on “I create distance when I find out my girlfriends are pregnant”

  1. I feel your pain, fear, and disappointment. I often wonder what I did so wrong to not be able to have a spouse and child. Now I volunteer with foster children and see that they share the same pain, fear, and disappointment in not having a loving parent. It is healing and inspirational to spend time with them.

  2. I feel the same way everyday. I think pregnancy is the most beautiful thing and can’t imagine the joys that come from it. The only thing stopping me is the fact that I’m 19 years old and I know I have a future to consider before I even think of bringing a child into this world. I wonder though, if maybe what I want out of it is the happiness and love and support that my family and boyfriend would give me as well as having my very own part of me to love and take care of. That, to me, would be the ultimate happiness.

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  6. Um, its nice everyone is being supportive but all I can see is the word “girlfriendS” as in plural. How many pregnant women have you kicked to the curb? My sympathies are with them.

  7. @CD

    I don’t think that it means “girlfriends” in that sense… From what I understand, the poster is probably a woman who distances herself from her female friends who are pregnant out of feelings of jealousy and low self-worth.. not a man that breaks up with numerous women whom he has impregnated.

  8. My due date would have been this coming Tuesday… It’s getting harder and harder not to scream out that I was pregnant, i was only 7 weeks when I was told there was no heart beat but it seems like a lifetime. Tuesday will be hard and I’m going to try and not hate everyone around me that has healthy babies.. To top it off my boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago so I’m mourning the loss of our child alone.


  10. I try to be happy, but when I see friends having 1 or 2 (or more!) kids in the time frame that we’ve been trying to conceive, it hurts. A lot.

  11. Hon, I can’t seem to hold a pregnancy to term. I’ve miscarried 5 times, and I’ve all but given up hope. The resentment I felt when two of my (LESBIAN) friends both told me that they were pregnant was overwhelming. The pain sits here, in my heart, and I don’t know if it’ll ever pass. Just know that I can relate and that there are others like us out there.

  12. My hubby and I have been trying for over a year. A bunch of his dead beat friends have gotten their exs pregnant. And one of our close friends just had their first child. I am the godmother to that child and I can’t even look at her with out being angry at her parents. They don’t have jobs and the mother doesn’t have a GED. I feel like all the people that are on the path to failure have children while those of us who want a little one to love and support don’t get one. I feel horrible and try to pretend to listen as my friend whines about how horrible it is to stay up all night with a screaming baby when all I want to do is steal her child.

  13. I cried when i read this because I’ve tried to get pregnant first with my first husband and now with my second, all told its been about 9 years of trying with no luck. Everytime someone tells me they are pregnant I hate them a little… Usually I just don’t speak to them, create a huge distance between myself and the pregnant person until its over and done with… Its become to hard to bear..

  14. Wear a condom. I am disturbed by the implication that you get many women pregnant and then dump them. Take responsibility for your actions. Be a man and stop ruining the lives of your ‘girlfriends’ by leaving them with an unwanted pregnancy. The world, beleive it or not, does NOT need an army of your progeny.

  15. Sorry…I misread this post. I suppose since I’m not jealous of my female friends who have kids, I read this entirely as something else. I’m 24 and too selfish to want kids. I want a career. I want my life to reflect on MY needs and desires. I recognize that and am thus happy for the women in my life who want and have children.

  16. I have noticed that I do this…but am afraid to admit it. I feel bad that I do it, because I’m basically throwing myself a pity party and not being happy for my best friends. I have always said that I must have been a mass murderer in the past life because of everything that has gone wrong in this one. I want so badly to have a baby, to be pregnant and feel all those wonderful feelings mentally and physically. I am almost 29 years old and get compliments everyday on me being me, or my looks…but yet I can’t find anyone to be with.

  17. i am so glad that i am not the only one feeling this way. i had been feeling guilty for so long because i haven’t been able to share the excitement with those around me.

  18. okay excuse me but girlfriends ??? you don’t do this to one person- but many? thats just mean and cruel… the fact that you even allow the same mistake to happen multiple times is astonishing.

  19. AC – Fuck you. Clearly you have no idea what it’s like to be on our side of things so don’t judge us and shut your face.

  20. I know the feeling. It seems there are pregnant women everywhere I look. Anytime someone tells me they’re expecting I congratulate them and spend my night crying my eyes out.

  21. When I first saw this secret I thought it was a guy saying it and I was LIVID. He’s gotten more than one girlfriend pregnant and then distanced himself from them? DOUCHE! Then I realized what it really meant, and I can relate. Though mostly when they’re getting married, cause I’m afraid I’ll never get to experience either of those joys.

  22. Blu,
    Some people can’t have kids but everyone has someone that lives them. You may not have found them yet but it doesn’t mean they’re not out there. Just wait I’m sure you will find an amazing person. And hopefully you get to experience both

  23. My husband left me last year at this time. We had tried to conceive for two years. In the following months after he left, three women in my office got pregnant. I still try not to cry when they talk about all the baby stuff, and I witness how happy they are. It absolutely sucks. I feel ya.

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