41 thoughts on “I’m afraid I’ll end up alone”

  1. My x-husband hurt me so badly that I have been alone now for 6 years. I am terrified to become involved with anyone else. I trust no one. I have built a wall around myself for protection but it feels like a jail.

  2. You have to let go. You cannot caress mink through woolen gloves. You have to eliminate that which is between you and happiness.

    Otherwise whoever hurt you before continues to hurt for the rest of your life…

  3. dont worry the person who may love you might be just right under your nose.! try to open up and live your life!!!

  4. Please dear, i have the same worry as you but i’ve learnt to love my self and above all, i speak to God every minute the fear comes to my mind.

  5. I feel your pain and I am with you on this. I’ve been single for 10 years (this August) after divorcing a violent, manipulating husband. I keep telling myself that I’m just too busy raising my two kids on my own — but the truth is that I’m so terrified of allowing anyone that level of hold over me.

    I’m seven years away from both of my kids going onto college and I know in my heart that I’m going to be alone when they go. And it’s tearing me apart.

  6. thought picked from the top of my brain!! i’ve only been confident enough to take that risk once and it was one of the best nights of my life, i couldn’t pull it off a second time….

  7. I know the feeling all too well. My ex of 5 yrs who I wanted to marry decided to walk away from our history and be with someone else. Funny thing is before them, there were nothing walls up. The moment I made myself vulnerable, everything fell apart. Now, I’m back at square one with the whole emotional fort knox going. There’s no knocking these walls down now.

  8. I know how you feel… I reall hope that it works out for you thou, you’re probably very deserving to be loved <3

  9. I avoided any kind of intimate relationship for most of my life because I was scared of getting hurt. Then I met someone who I felt was worth the risk. Even if we don’t go the distance I’m still glad I took the chance because he’s made me a better person.

  10. We have to love ourselves before anyone will love us. We have to feel worthy of Love. And we are. We are Love. Shed the ego, the fearful shell. There are wonderful books out there to help. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle changed my life forever. Now I only see what’s below the surface. Love.

  11. After two abusive relationships and a gay guy I gave up dating all together. After 13 years maybe its time to step out there and meet someone. So I did. And had an honest to goodness anxiety attach breakdown that lasted for about a week. Freaked out my parents so bad they made me move in for a week with them. and I’m 41. I’m not looking to be a lonely Minster but dating is not easy if you are not thin and young. I used to have those two on my side. Thought they always would be. Now it’s gone

  12. I have no idea how to open myself to love. I feel that I will be alone forever. I am afraid to even discuss this fear with any living soul. To everyone around me I am well-adjusted and completely ok with this, but every day I fear more and more that one day I will wake up and be 60 with no one around and no one to care

  13. So am I, but I don’t see fear of being alone as a good catalyst for a relationship, so I stay alone, because it wouldn’t be completely honest otherwise.

  14. Oh how well I understand. I’m 28. I graduated college, went straight into a career and now I have nobody to come home to. I understand how you feel.

  15. I got used by so many guys in high school and college that I honestly thought I wasn’t worth loving and would end up alone. As time passed though, I began loving myself more. I think what people say about loving yourself before trying to have someone else love you is true. I have finally found someone who loves me for me and even if things don’t work out the way I want them to, I will always know that I am worth loving.

  16. im know exacley what you are feeling and its tearing my apart.
    i get so anxious at the thought of letting anybody get close that ive thrown up such high, gaurded walls around my emotions that people assume im fridgid. but im not!
    i just get so petrified when people i dont know, guys especially, come up to me, that my fight or flight instinct kicks in and i just panic and run!
    its ruining my life, and im only 23!!!!
    i dont want to be alone anymore, im desperate!!

  17. I was alone through elementary and middle school.I was made fun of. And I’m reaching my last 3 months of high school, I have alot of friends who I know would do anything for me, but I’ve never been on a real date, and I’ve never had someone look at me and tell me that they love me. I don’t care if its just a high school fling, I just don’t want to reach age 40 and still be alone.

  18. I know how you feel. My last boyfriend told me he loved me three days before he went back to his ex girlfriend. Since then I’ve been afraid of getting involved with anyone.

  19. Im the exsact same. Ive never had a real relationship because i get so scared id rather be alone then hurting. My dad left when i was 16. I blame him every day.

  20. I have loved one person, and they only liked being friends with benefits. I put myself through two years of back and forth pain and joy for them, and now I look back and realize that I was the best thing that would have ever happened to them if they had just let it happen, but they didn’t let it, so now I must go on, with them always in the back of my mind, what could have been.

  21. We are all alone, even when we are with someone, once born we struggle with the feeling of separate lives out side, acceptance of your fear will set you free.

  22. Im the same way and im only 17. It don’t help when we can be hard on ourselves when other people too comment on ur faults. It makes you feel like no one is out their for you. I hate that feeling, we can be surrounded by people and feel so alone. And it’s the same way when it comes to relationships. For years i blamed my parents for never letting me go out with people, when really its my own fault for not taking the risk and going with them. Im leaving for college soon and i havent even really had a serious relationship, heck ive only had 2 relationships in my life. I hope i can change this though.

  23. I dont know which way to go! my boyfriend has cheated on me. He tells me he loves me and treats me well in other ways. But also without fail everytime we go somewhere even special he looks at other women. It breaks my self-esteem! I have little trust. Doesnt sound good hey! I’d like to be with him and be happy most of the time but i get angry sooo much because of his betrayal and secret side. I am afraid of being on my own again and scared I will fall apart. Hurting low self-esteem.

  24. you all have taken the words out of my mouth especially #13. this is no way to live. it’s crazy because if so many of us feel so much the same why are we so lonely.

  25. Every room mate i have had has been in a relationship… Almost a year ago was my last relationship… I thought everything was going well until one night in his driveway he told me that we had to break up because when he saw me walking towards him all he saw was me not his whole life… It broke me down for months… Im scared to get close to anyone anymore because of that fear… But if you think about it there are tons of people out there who are afraid so everyone just has to take the risk.

  26. I found your note stating ” I believe I will be alone forever” in the Gedions bible in Chesterton Indiana Hilton Garden Inn. I’m here to tell you, you won’t be. Your note found me, so at least one person in this world is thinking of you. Let me know how you’re doing. Peace

  27. I was never afraid, but my mother left me and my brother on the side of the road. Then i caught my fiance in bed with another man. Now every woman i fall in love with, i act mean and hurtful until they hate me and leave. when i tried to reach out to a doctor/friend, she said she was too busy for new clients. my heart hurts so much i feel like im always drowning.

  28. I’ve just come to terms with the fact that I probably will end up alone, why would I be worth anybody’s time? If I wasn’t worth a 6 week wait, why would I be worth a lifetime?

  29. I know EXACTLY what you mean. But if we ever want anything to change, we need to find that courage deep down inside of us and take the risk. We should both give it a shot– I will if you will. : )

  30. All of the other comments are about how people were hurt by someone they loved so they’re too scared to take the risk again. I’ve never taken the risk once, and I fear I never will.

  31. I’ve struggled with this my entire life, any time I’ve even opened up a tiny part of myself to a friend it’s scared them away. Finally now at 19 I’ve got to a point where I’m happy to be alone as long as all the friends that I care for are as happy as they deserve to be, that’s enough for me.

  32. I never had a serious relationship until I was 24 and I was scared of it and this person and I talked about marriage and kids, but all too soon, because once we got passed the honey moon phase and his true colors came out, he was mean and I think had a drinking problem, everything just fell apart. I had been waiting for the right person to sleep with and I waited for a few months for him and things were great but we only lasted about 8 months…It’s been 6 months since we broke up and I’m still not over him. He’s not a bad person. I don’t really know what he is. I can’t get over it. And I am afraid to meet someone else. I wish I could forget him. I wish I liked being alone. Everyone I know has a boyfriend or girlfriend and I have to hear about their relationships. Sometimes I want to kill myself because I’m too scared to be alone and too scared to be with someone. I feel like I’m slowly getting insane. I don’t know waht to do with myself and I don’t feel like I have support. Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t wake up.

  33. He might be a narcissist. Read up on it. Sometimes it’s not us. Forgive yourself. You should read “why men love bitches ” too just in case he’s not psycho and just a typical male that got bored. Love you!

  34. I used to love innocently, very hard and very deeply. Not a single one worked out in any sense of the word. I have only had relations with strangers. I act very aloof infront of the men I have relations with. “I just don’t see myself taking a husband” “I don’t know how those guys are in relationships”. And every time, I am still shocked when they flavour of the month doesn’t call me back after date 2. Ít’s incredible though, the time line in which it takes them to dash away…it’s get shorter, from months to weeks. This past weekened, he crept out of the apartment where we were in the middle of the night before I could see him leave.

  35. You will stay alone until you get off your ass and find a person to love you and stop being a coward. Will you get hurt? probably. Should you get back up after words? of course. Think of finding love as riding a bicycle. You will fall off and get scraped up. But you just get back on the bike and keep trying until you can do it perfectly. Then you have a chance of finding love.

  36. I agree with number 38. I my first relationship since kindergarten just ended a week ago, and it was with a great man I couldn’t love. I was anxious all the time and knew he wasn’t right, but I would have married him if he hadn’t broken up. I’m thankfull for that, because now I finally have the guts to work on myself. I’m looking for help to tear down the walls I have build around me. I have decided I don’t want to be scared anymore, I’m allowed to have flaws as well as anybody else. No one is perfect, so why should I need to try to be perfect in order to be loved. I know it’s hard, believe me, I’m still hurting every minute ’cause I miss someone to be with. But I don’t want to feel sorry for myself anymore. And you shouldn’t either!

  37. This resonates with me. I’m 24 and I’ve never taken the risk either. And nobody seems to have been willing to take it with me. I am always rejected by the men that I’m interested in, and pursued by men I’m not interested in. It’s sad.

  38. I am almost 37 and never even been out on a date… I’m too afraid of hurting again after building up friendships with girls and find out that they are already taken or just want a ‘provider’ financially… I know there must be nice girls out there somewhere but being used has just made me conclude that I’ll be happier being alone without the risk of getting hurt over and over 🙁

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