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I cheated on you
January 8, 2011
, the boy I want to marry, with someone I dont see a future with…..
Because I’ve never been with a guy who didnt hit me, stalk me, compromise me or continuously put me down…
the constant happiness made me anxious.
Now I realize my issues hurt you just like they hurt me.
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nothing makes me feel better then when i hurt you, the person who loves me the most..
You hurt him to hurt yourself.
The way you treat the person you love is often a reflection of how you view yourself or what you think you deserve.
There was a time in my life when I pushed loved ones away too. I was never trying to hurt them. I was trying to hurt myself.
I cheated on my fiance. I never told him. Only my best friend and I know. Because I cheated on him, I now know he is the only man I ever want to be with.
wow. You read my every thought. The same thing happened to me and I feel guilty of it every day…
I never cheated, but I used to be this girl… It was the second time we had dated and I was so insecure that he would leave me again for someone else. I was such a fool. Even if he were to chat, I would’ve stayed. Im no longer with him and I’m happier, but I still think about him here and there. I realize our relationship was a total disaster and I kept pushing all my insecurities out. I pushed him to his breaking point and I was left again..
Well, Lady Bug, that doesn’t cut it. You should be mature enough to let him know. He probably already knows, but because you haven’t come clean….he probably doesn’t completely trust you. Secrets suck and will just eat you up and probably doing the same to him. Come clean, beleive in the love you have for each other and get the weight off of both…..
you should tell him about the cheating and about why you felt you did it. if you do you will feel better and if he is a truly good guy, he will be upset, but he will forgive you. If you tell him at least you can get through it together and you don’t have to take it alone. If you want to marry him, then he must be a good man and therefore i doubt he would be the kind of man to hold it against you and if he did then he wouldn’t deserve you because you are better than that. because trust me, you are.
^^ worst comment i’ve ever heard in my life…
i cheated on my gf of two years and then broke up with her because if i had stayed it would have killed me inside knowing that she trusted me with everything and i betrayed her… then i started dating the girl i cheated with because i thought it was the right thing to do… i consigned myself to a relationship that hurt me so much because i feel terrible for what ive done… i would give everything ive ever earned and accomplished up if it meant that just for one day the person i said i love you to was carrie
i cheated on someone i dated for 2 years, she found out before i had the guts to tell her… tried to talk it out for 3 months. begged… tried to be friends for 5 years but recently she gave up on that… kinda hope she sees this… b/c i lied.. i’m not ok with it… i miss my best friend. i miss you jennifer… still crying
bishoptheblue, no no no, going out with the other girl was not right, especially since you still love your Carrie; at the very least, it’s not fair to your current girlfriend. The only right thing to do when you’ve cheated (and I have done so too) is to have no one. If she comes to forgive you, better to find you solitary as a monk, than still with that other woman (regardless of your true feelings).
bishoptheblue, that is the saddest but sweetest thing I’ve heard in quite some time. You should have told Carrie what you did and asked for her forgiveness, you may have been surprised. Being with the girl you cheated on her with is just a constant reminder of a mistake you wish you hadn’t made.
If you’re so remorseful why haven’t you come back?
I did this to my bf of 3years I’m with the guy I cheated with now and I feel so guilty everyday I’m with him I think of my ex. But this new guy makes me happy I just feel I’m not allowed to be because I hurt the person most important to mebecause I was insecure about myself. I’m sorry I hurt my ex. He didn’t deserve it I will never forget him and I will love him forever but I wish I could stop feeling guilty.my ex forgave me and wanted to get back together we tried but I just couldn’t even look at him to know how much I betrayed him. I cry everyday. I believe I’m abad person. I was only happy with him but I feel I don’t deserve how good he is. He is perfect. And I can never answer his simple question of why did u do this
Hope….there is no hope for you. I think one has to learn to be happy by themself, for themself, first. You can’t let the Demons keep you living in some “darkness” for lack of a better word. I feel my GF of almost 3 yrs has some underlying feelings of guilt or scared or something. But this will probably hurt the most wonderful relationship I have ever been in and one of the best relationships a person could ask for. (this includes many relationships in over 30 yrs) Don’t let a good thing die…be happy, enjoy each day with each other and don’t look back…
When my GF screws up….it will hurt, of course, she is my “soul mate”. I am an easily angered person,she has been the only woman that has ever been able to calm the beast in me. but when/if it goes to shit…I’m gonna sleep with every woman who comes my way..I doubt i would ever let myself be put thru the bs ever again. People need to realize a dick is a dick and a pussy is a pussy. It is the relationship that matters, period.
I always feel the need to be with someone different. I do it to feel better about myself. But I have finally found the guy for me, he treats me right…except for the fact he wants me to lose weight. So I still go out and I find guys who tell me I’m beautiful. We have only been together for a year, and I have cheated 3 times.
The reason I as reluctant in the beginning was that I knew she would fly away one day. I just wish she had told me instead of breaking it to me !
It’s a very sad thing the human nature. We look for something all our lives and when we finally find it we feel so anxious about losing it, or thinking we don’t deserve it.
It’s just a matter of choices to trust somebody. It’s a matter of choices and willpower to be faithful. But it requires a great deal of self-esteem to understand that we DESERVE to be loved.
I cheated on my boyfriend too. I was in the wrong state of mind and completely out of my element. He was my best friend, we did everything together and I’ve never felt so utterly in love with anyone. Sober, the thought of kissing anyone else was non-existent. But I had to show up at that stupid high school party and make the biggest mistake of my life. There was no way I could look him in the eye and hold that secret, so the next morning I had told him what happened and he said it was going to be okay. He said he loved me and that he was going to do his best to forgive me. He wiped my tears and said I love you. That doesn’t change in one day, and from one mistake. The next day, he didn’t even look at me. His friends had all told him that he would be stupid to get back with me, I had cheated on him. So he broke up with me, and a week later he was already dating one of my best friends. It’s been over a year now and I think about him every, single day. I can’t get over the idea of us, the way our love empowered me. My life hasn’t been the same since that night, every aspect of my life has changed. I love my friends and my family and I thank god I am blessed with them everyday. But I see him in the hallway with her and I am not upset because they are together, I am upset because I know what we had was real. I loved him and I am still in love with him. I made a mistake, I threw away my first love and must forever live with it.
I think you are using your past as a lame excuse to cheat
I was that girl, but I was hurtful instead of cheating. Tell him. Healing is best accomplished with the person you love. I’m now engaged to, and have a beautiful son with, the guy I was ‘that girl’ to.
Nicky? Obviously you have never been trapped by a person who holds your head on the floor in a doorway and beats the door shut on it. You’ve never been beaten sensless then arrested after your abuser called the police himself, and been too terrified to tell the truth. You have never been called an incompitent, unwomanly whore for miscarrying. You have never had your hair ripped out from being dragged againrt the floor. You have never had your clothing choices made for you. You have never been terrified into watching your abuser fuck a whore, just to ensure that you know you are worthless. You have never been made to sleep on the floor, when the pet got to sleep in the bed. You have never heard your own mother tell you were lying when you finally fessed up to the truth, because she liked the guy.
If you have, you would know the lasting trauma it creates. And if you have, but still say that? Good for you. You are inhumanly capable.
To everyone who has cheated in these comments you are all pathetic. Waaaaaah I still love you waaaaah I was in the wrong frame of mind waaaah I was emotionally abused so I cheat to hurt myself. Grow the fuck up you pathetic pieces of shit. Every has shit thrown they’re way myself included. There is no excuse for cheating it’s plain and simple you are scum with no ounce of a back bone or any kind of morality. The only people I feel sorry for are the people who trusted you an had fuckwits like yourselves and shit all over them. Those are the ones who should get the sympathy not you. Grow up, take some responsability and maybe next time your drunk or feeling like the worlds smallest violin is playing just for you think twice about who you might be affecting when you can’t keep it in your pants or you can’t keep your legs closed. Guys who cheat don’t know how to act like real men and you ladies who cheat don’t know how to be real women
Jinx, you don’t know anything about my life so don’t assume what I have or have not been through. Cheating is dishonest and cowardly. As for abuse by a partner, there is always a choice. Hit you once, shame on him. Hit you twice, shame on you. I’ve been throuh it and was brave enough to leave..with nothing and go to a shelter. Don’t be such a martyr
I know my fiance is sneaking around, maybe not cheating yet but it might get there & I’m still with him, he such a dick to me, he called me a worthless piece of shit, calls me a bitch & he always tells me he thinks were better off without each other & I have to cry & beg him to stay with me & he does & then he’s super sweet, like tonight he’s never been this sweet to me EVER, maybe he’s trying to distract me I don’t know & for some reason, I CAN’T leave! There’s something wrong with me! </3
Wow Daniel…BITCH! Fuck you, don’t come on here & being a coward ass cunt!
A lot of you sure do talk a lot of mad shit over the internet! Let me as you this…why are you on this page, what made you click on this link? Exactly…haters will be haters I guess, pathetic!
@Mrs Unknown – I came on here because, after being single for 38 years, the girl I was finally planning to spend the rest of my life with vanished on me. Then I found out that she had been cheating. There’s something spooky about the way these things speak to you at times, ya know?
As for punks and bitches and coward ass cunts (oh my!), it’s just a fucking message board. Stop taking shit so personally, unless it’s guilt that makes you feel that way.
@lostinthewoods…I’m sooo sorry!! That’s sad! I hope my fiance doesn’t do that & I hope I have his whole cheating motive wrong, but something feels weird but of course I have always feel that way. & yeah the cussing thing talking shit is true, I’m just as guilty though. People just make me mad, I’m a blunt person, over the internet & to your face but I doesn’t solve anything.
Nothing in the world makes me feel better then to find someone in the same situation i have been in. just like this one.
@Mrs. Unknown – No need for apologies. You didn’t cause it. But thank you for the sympathetic words, honestly. Hope you get things worked out.
@hopelessromanticx17 – What situation is that?
@mrs unknown I’m not a coward. I said the exact same thing to my friend who was cheating on his wife. Maybe youre so pissed off because there is no excuse a maybe people like the attention they get when they beg for sympathy like this woman. If you cheat and blame everything else under the sun except for yourself you’re the weak one. Weak people dont know how to take responsibility like all the people who cheat are weak. Just a bunch of pathetic individuals who need some real tragedy in their life. And why am I on here? Simple. To encourage people with real problems and real issues not dumb sluts and man whores who think they have it tough because they fucked up.
cheating on someone because the constant happiness with them made me anxious and how i must have hurt them as much as i hurt myself.
Did you seriously say that you cheated on someone because you were happy with them? Were you waiting on the other shoe to drop?
I guess it really just doesn’t matter..As for me, I have tried and tried, giving all a man could possibly give, and in the end…..all relationships turn to shit…
Put the feelings back behind the wall, keep them there and just enjoy the moment day to day. Be happy “in-yourself”. Don’t look for who can make you happy. That same “who” will usually be the one to make you “hurt”. Be kind when you can, smile often, laugh hard, walk softly….and carry a big stick…..Good luck folks…I’m gone
@gottsBme – We’ve all felt that way at times man. I’m not sure that I’ll ever be able to trust a woman who says she loves me again, but I’m going to stick around to find out. It’ll be ok. It really will.
@hoplessromanticx17 – So I take it you weren’t waiting on the other shoe?
@hoplessromanticx17 – Let me ask you something. If it hurts you so badly and you kow it hurts them so badly, why don’t you ask their forgiveness and try to patch things up?
I cheated on my gf in college a couple of times. I felt bad at the time but now looking back my only regret is not hooking up more often. I could have been with her best friend cause she was constantly all over me but I thought I’d “do the right thing.” man screw that. I should’ve nailed her too.
Yes, I was cheated on. It hurt like a bitch and when I see couples together it still does.
I asked you for the reason why and you told me simply “I don’t know, she was there. She’s nothing to me. I’m sorry.”
I replied. “Fuck you Tom.” forced a smile and left. It crushed me, I miss you and I’ll never admit it to a friend but I cried. I hate you.
Afterward the argument I cried because Tom had proved me right, there is no such thing as love. Just lust.
You wanted to be friends, you wanted forgiveness.
You will never receive it and I’m happy I made you cry.
Tom, stop wishing me happy Birthday each year. I hate you.
Why do people cheat and ruin something that means something so dear, when they will come back crying for forgiveness?? Cheaters, not matter how bad you feel for what YOU have done you do not deserve forgiveness!!
I can’t forgive anyone anymore.
I got caught with my best friends boyfriend. The problem is we did way more than what was seen after we got caught now I have to keep that secret forever. I lost my friend and he was forgiven. And she will be with someone who doesn’t love her because I can’t tell the secret.
This website is not for attention. It’s purpose is to act as an outlet for those expressing the desire to free themselves from a secret they may be troubled with. The comments criticizing the actions of those who post are unwarranted and unnecessary. No one has the right to judge the actions of others. Please try to support and refrain from criticizing so that others wont feel afraid to express themselves in the future.
The guy I’m with now cheated on his now ex with me. After maybe six months of this I caught on. We talked it out and I told him to be the one to tell her. She hates me now and it’s because I not only broke up there year and a half relationship (yeah, they were together for a while) but there 7 years of friendship. I guess what I’m saying is be honest. I’m still standing by him because I honestly love him, even through the crap he put me through. Just come clean about it.
i did exactly the same thing last week and for the same reasons…nice to know im not the only one
Insecurities plague us all. But being deployed, those insecurities are a pestilence and infect your thoughts and dreams. Those who cheat on their while their bf or gf are deployed are those bringers of that infection of insecurity. The fear of being betrayed grips me more than mortars, suicide bombers, and snipers. It’s the ultimate act of betrayal while we area helpless to do nothing…then we are blamed for leaving and driving them to cheat…how dare I leave you, leave my home, all that I love so I can protect your freedoms but only to have you throw my sacrifice in my face. Sadly many of us fear loneliness and betrayal more than the snipers’ bullet.
My boyfriend once told me that a liar is always a liar. It hurt me so much. The truth is that I used to lie to him because I thought that’s what he wanted to hear — that whatever I had to say wouldn’t be good enough for him. My own insecurities made our relationship unbearable. Today I lied to him about something so stupid. And it hurts me to know that when things are great between us, I lie and do negative things to put myself down.
The girl I was seeing showed me this post some time ago saying that this is a particularly sad post.
The irony is that I was this person who was the other guy for her. We first slept together at the tail end of her relationship with her boyfriend.
They broke up the following week and I fell for her hard in the six months we spent after she and her boyfriend broke up. Secretly I knew that I would always be the guy she cheated on her boyfriend with rather than the person I came to be in her life. I suppose it’s difficult to overcome that guilt of association it’s just hard to know you will never be considered on the merits but on how your relationship started.
@ Daniel
I understand your point of view entirely, because I find infidelity repulsive and absolutely disgusting, but I also can see things from the other side, because a good friend of mine had an infidelity problem. He was married, very happily married, and it had cost him very dearly to marry the woman he loved, what happened was that a woman who worked with him wanted him, and wouldn’t leave him alone, one night he went out with a group of his work friends and got drunk, she was there too, he ended up in bed with her, he told his wife the next day, about a week later, after me helping him try and get over the guilt, and sort it out with his wife, they decided to have a baby, then, they moved from the country because the woman wouldn’t stop calling them and sending them emails. They had a quite big argument and she was going to leave him, he committed suicide, he wrote two suicide notes, one to his wife and one to me. I’d only known him for about four or five months.
I don’t know if I’ve ever been cheated on but I did cheat on a boyfriend once (I think doing anything including kissing with someone other than you guy/girl is considered cheating) and everyone told me to not tell him but I told him the next day and he forgave me but he ended up holding it over my head so I ended it. It was an accident I didn’t stop but I completely regret it.
As for everyone else, dude who keeps yelling at everyone gets over yourself and let people deal how they deal and douche bag who thinks he could have gotten with all those chicks you’re probably lying but I hope you caught a disease.
My now ex cheated on me. He also had cheated on now wife with me without my knowledge but I stayed with him bc I thought I couldn’t live without him. He used to lie to me constantly, he cheated on me with her and with many other girls. I found out when I was with him about one girl, i had seen pictures of them together, and her face haunted me everywhere. I started to hate girls with black hair. I lost all my self-esteem being with that guy. He was twice my age bald and had three kids and crazy ex wife ( now current wife). I am beautiful, skinny smart and young and with the amount of damage he has done to me has me feeling like a forty year old fat lady with no future. I had never wanted kids before him but while I was with him I loved his as if they had been my own. It’s too bad. I told his current wife or whatever that I was leaving him and that she should be weary of his lies and I warned her. The last thing she asked me was am I sure I am totally out of the picture. I worry she will get hurt but I am also glad I never have to compromise who I am to be with a man who didn’t love me enough to begin with. I don’t know anything about what my future looks like but I am so glad he isn’t going to be part of it.
I was cheated on. It wasn’t the best relationship to begin with, and i’m sorry i gave her more sympathy for her problems, rather than just giving her myself.
But no one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes. If he loved you he would forgive you completely in time. More importantly though, you should forgive yourself.
Sometimes i think it’s best to just leave all the broken pieces on the floor and move on. Rather than try to fix things. It’s hard to move on, i’m on this site because i was thinking of the girl i used to read postsecrets with. We don’t talk anymore but i still miss our friendship and I care about her more than she knows.