January 21, 2010
Category: New Secrets
Tags: children, drugs
you are beautiful. what a lucky boy he is.
Don’t belittle your self just the fact you stuck by this child shows how beautiful of a person you are. That little kid you see there will be grateful with time.
God never makes mistakes-HE knew you needed your grandson.
Probably the best thing she ever did for him. I wish my junkie neice would leave her baby Grace with me so at least I would know she was taken care of!
I am a recovering addict (clean for 2 1/2 years) with a 6 year old boy. My BF of three years has a greater connection with my son than I do because I wasn’t around most of the time, I think my son hates me. He was grandma’s boy for years. I wish I could take those years back and turn my life around. I miss the bond I should have with him. I don’t know how and if I can get it back! I’m scared he’ll never be my mama’s boy. And his dad isn’t around. I’m so scared I’ve single-handedly deprived him of a loving childhood that will scar him for life.
Not sure why you came back into his life. If you are going to be around you’d better stop thinking about what YOU lost, and make the best of what is left. I’m sorry, but I am like the son in your situation, but all grown up now, and I have no sympathy for you.
I am a recovering mother-10 years. My daughter is 16, so for 6 years I was out of it. Give time-time. We are living our amends everyday that we stay sober to our kids.
Great book out about how a child’s brain and emotions and coping mechanisms develop (or don’t) based on what nurturing and stimulation they get (or don’t) during different times of their infanthood and childhood.
Though it’s entitled ‘THE BOY WHO WAS RAISED AS A DOG’, that’s just one small chapter of this book. It tells how a child can do well in so many areas of his/her life, but not in another area because maybe they were left in their crib in the dark day after day for a time. Or if they were raised in an orphanage with adequate food, clothing, diaper changes, but no physical nurturing.
Great read for anybody wanting to understand further how people turn out the way they do.
There are consequences to actions.
All you can do is stay clean, make the most out of what you have, and do the right thing.
Sometimes he happiest kids are the ones who have to deal with more, because they can appreciate so much more. The kids I babysit keep me going. Kids do that to a person.
your message made me cry
sucks what a DISEASE can make us do, huh son? go to therapy and get over it, because the lady came back into her son’s life because she got clean and is beating the disease for today. if i blamed my mother for all the mistakes she made, that wouldn’t be fair to her and that would get me no sympathy. you are a douchebag. you’re certainly not “all grown up.” blame the disease, not the people with it.
Addiction isn’t a ” DISEASE ” it’s a choice, get over yourself, you didn’t wake up one morning with a crack pipe in your mouth idiot.
actually, honey, addiction is defined as a disease by doctors, psychologists, and many other people in the physical and mental health field. here’s a quote for you:
“The American Society of Addiction Medicine has this definition for Addiction: Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry.”
Why is it, do you think, that some people can have 1 or 2 beers at a party, and others have to get wasted? It’s a fucking disease that people are environmentally and genetically predispositioned to. And you’re not really telling me to get over myself, you’re telling the philosophy of Alcoholic’s Anonymous to get over itself. way to be closed minded, you moron. just watch an episode of intervention. people don’t “choose” to ruin their lives.
actually, honey, addiction is defined as a disease by doctors, psychologists, and many other people in the physical and mental health field. hereâ€™s a quote for you:
â€œThe American Society of Addiction Medicine has this definition for Addiction: Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry.â€
Why is it, do you think, that some people can have 1 or 2 beers at a party, and others have to get wasted? Itâ€™s a fucking disease that people are environmentally and genetically predispositioned to. And youâ€™re not really telling me to get over myself, youâ€™re telling the philosophy of Alcoholicâ€™s Anonymous to get over itself. way to be closed minded, you moron. just watch an episode of intervention. people donâ€™t â€œchooseâ€ to ruin their lives.
Well? It’s not called disease THEORY for nothing. I could start and association with an official sounding name and claim all kinds of things. Don’t trust everything you read. Think. for. yourself.
Btw, AA has a dismal success rate.
I don’t watch TV, but I’m sure ‘intervention’ is another show designed to make money off of peoples’ pain. I don’t support that sort ‘entertainment’, I think it’s very sad.
Have you heard of Iboga? I’ve seen so very many people walk away from addictions in three days. No joke. Of course, they are left with themselves to examine. That’s actually the hard part.
I walked away from 20 years of alcohol addiction with the help of Iboga. I haven’t walked back. I don’t go to AA. I’m not diseased.
I’m not sure why I’m bothering to tell you this.
I applaud you for overcoming your addiction. I was 17, a junkie, and pregnant. I quit alcohol, pills and drugs as when I found out I was expecting, I put myself through high school, through college, and now work a full-time job in a career that I worked my butt off for. I did it all without “AA” or “NA”. I made a choice – a choice to be a mother, my son saved me and is the greatest gift that I have ever received. Mothers that don’t embrace and nurture their children should be ashamed of themselves.
Be there for him now! My mother left me when I was 5 and became a drunk/druggie and almost died. When I was 18 she got sober and emailed me to apologize. I am so proud of her. We can’t do anything about the past only the future. Make the present count and you’ll BUILD a relationship with your son and he’ll always know that you came back for him!
um maybe you should study addiction a little more huh!! Becasue Opionions are NETORIOUS for being just that an opinion not a fact!
some choices are easier for some then others. i walked away as well cold turkey from meth haven;t looked back.. doesn’t mean that it wasn’t hard for someone else.. if everyone is so unique as we tell our children with the color of their skin eyes and hair etc.. you think that stops on the outside?? what a bunch of closed minded people.. all i know is i am glad someone made the choice to die on the cross for me so i wouldn’t live in unforgiveness or judgement.. I am glad someone is there for that boy.. hope someone is gonna be there for that Mom. because choice or disease, people are effected. and shouldn’t be shunned forever.. so instead of this.. what useful things can be done?
agreed addiction isn’t a disease, you can make the decision to get help it may be hard to do but you can. stop making excuses
No they didn’t wake up with a crack pipe in their mouth you fuck ass, but they didn’t choose to become addicted. And addiction is a disease, when you’re addicted you don’t have a choice in your actions its all on impulse. The only way to over come it is to have a support system. So get your head out of your ass and look at the facts and real life, Addicts don’t choose to become addicted they just made a bad choice initially.
I Cant Stop Crying.. At 16 I Started Raising My 26 Year Old Sisters Infant Son So She Could Life The Life Of Addiction.. I Gave Him 2 Years Of My Life, And Everyday I Regret Letting Her Take Him From Me So She Could Move Out Of Town With Her Boyfriend…Shes Still Not Clean And I Know She Loves Drugs More than Him. At 19, I Miss Him Everyday, And Everyday I Wish That She Would Come To Her Senses And Give Him Back, Simply For The Fact That.. Ive Gave Up A Lot Of Things In My Early Life For That Beautiful Little Man, And I Want The Chance To Keeep Doing It, I Want Him To Grow Up Being Loved And Knowing It…
I’m surprised to see all the hateful things people have posted in response to this person’s secret. I thought this was a place for people to share and feel safe doing so.
On a side note, drugs and alcohol aren’t the only things people get addicted to. One of those “other” things is anger and abuse, either towards others or oneself.
I applaud everyone who is recovering from an addiction as well as those who have people in their lives working to overcome his or her disease. It is natural to be angry when people mistreat you (for any reason, not just due to an addiction). The key to moving past it is expressing yourself in a constructive manner- and forgiveness! Not for the other person, but for your own inner peace.
It is a disease. Its uncontrollable. One night of “fun” with friends and you’re down the rabbit hole. I pity this woman and I hope that her son will forgive her because she is TRYING. At least she got clean. My boyfriend’s mother is an alcoholic and could give a shit about him.
I agree with “SouthernGirl” addiction is painful and I think anyone who works to get over it should be praised, not abused. What do you think will turn them back to addiction? Hateful attitudes towards their attempts to make a new life. People like “netorious” are assholes.
To the (wo)man who made this post. You are a true inspiration. You remind me of my own father. My biological father left when my mother was pregnant and he raised me as his own along with my mother. I was never a “step-daughter” I’m HIS daughter. That is true love. Good for you.
this postcard made me cry.
i gave my child up for adoption. i too have addiction issues. i have an abusive partner and i am constantly battling with my addictions and struggling to pay the bills and eat. my son was and still is the most important thing in my life. i think of him all day everyday. he turned one year old less than a month ago. i cry every night all night because i miss him so much. i hate myself because i missed the first time he crawled but i know the exact date. and i will miss his first steps which should be any day now and i will miss his first words and everything in his life i will miss. but you know. i believe i did the right thing because i will never have to show him what its like to starve for days. and watch your momma get beaten. i will never show him how to steal food from the store and not get caught. i will never show him what its like when daddy gets angry thats its just best to shut up and agree. he will never see how desperately some people cling to substances. he will never watch me fall down in a drunken stupour. and he will never have to hide bruises. steal smokes from me learn to sell drugs steal and hurt people. these things i will not have to watch because for him i have given him a life where this will not happen there will be no firsts for these things. i did the only thing i could do to give him the life he deserves. he is an angel. and with me his wings would never be strong enough for him to learn to fly above that which is my example. i love my son more than anything. so before you judge that woman for “leaving” her little boy. maybe she saved his life. because i sure know i saved my son from a horrible life full of pain desperation addiction and death.
I hope the love I give “my” baby (neice)makes up for the fact her mother and father are drug addicts and think of NO ONE but themselves. 🙁
anybody who says addiction isn’t a disease has never been addicted to drugs. therefore, they’re ignorant to the topic and shouldn’t be commenting in the first place.
and they’re douchebags too! 🙂
i’m a recovering addict. was on heroin pretty bad. lost my kids, went to prison for several years.. and when i got out, i STILL relapsed. i ODed and could’ve died. i’ve got about 2 weeks clean now and i’m feeling okay about it. it’s hard tho, and kudos to anybody who wants to make it. drug addiction/use is the biggest mind fuck in the world. anyway.. point is, don’t speak on shit you don’t know about.
that is all. <3
BillMalice: You did the right thing for your little one.
HEY sick heart? You dont tell me WTF TO WRITE YOU DRUG ADDICTED TRASH PARENT YOU. OK SO YOU HAD A BUNCK OF NEEDLES YOU STUCK IN YOUR ARM AND LOST YOUR KIDS BC YOU ARE AN ADDICT? AWE LETS ROLL OUT THE PITTY PARADE EVERYONE HUH? I AM A KID OF SOMEONE LIKE YOU AND LET ME TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE TRASH AND YOUR KIDS ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT SOMEONE LIKE YOU SETTING A TERRIBLE EXAMPLE AND BEING ONE BIG EMBARASSMENT. I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU AND HOW ABOUT YOU SAVING YOUR SPEECH AND EXCUSES ABOUT ADDICTION FOR THE OTHER ADDICTS LIKE YOU THAT THREW AWAY THEIR KIDS LIVES AND NOW WANT SYMPATHY FOR THEIR ‘DISEASE’ RIGHT? YOU ARE TRASH AND NO KIND OF PARENT. AND YEH SICK HEART WOULD BE ABOUT RIGHT. DONT SPEAK AB WHAT YOU DONT KNOW BIT*H.
LOOK I AM CHILD TO TRASH ADDICT LIKE YOU PEOPLE ON HERE MAKING EXCUSES FOR YOUR DISEASE? TELL IT TO OTHER ADDICTS BC US KIDS ARE DEAF TO YOUR WORDS. WE HATE YOU. NO MATTER WHAT YOU SPEW OUT OF YOUR MOUTH WE HATE YOU BC YOU DID NOT LOVE US. SIMPLE AS THAT. YOU HAVE YOUR EXCUSE AND WE HAVE OURS. THANK GOD FOR OUR GRANDPARENS ADN OTHER RELATIVES WHO CARED FOR US AND DID NOT LEAVE US TO THE HANDS OF TRASH LIKE YOU WHO CRY FOR SYMPATHY BC YOU ARE A ADDICT. F YOU. DONT COME AROUND YOUR KIDS. I AM KID OF ONE LIKE YOU AND I SPEAK FOR US ALL. WE WILL NEVER GIVE YOU THE LOVE YOU NEED FROM US BC THAT IS OUR GIFT TO YOU. #TEAMKARMASABITCH
I AM CHILD OF ADDICT. I HATE MY MOTHER. YOU MOTHER ON HERE WANT SYMPATHY FROM YOU CHILD YES? WE GIVE YOU BACK NOTHING. THAT IS WHAT YOU TAUGHT US MOMMY. WE GIVE YOU NOTHING LIKE YOU GAVE US. ADDICTION WAS YOUR EXCUSE. HATE IS OURS. #TEAMFUKYOU
Hello i feel anger coming from a hurt child who wrote in response to this postcard and comments. iunderstand that pain. i used to feel that anger toward my mother too bc i grew up in foster homes. she was a homeless addict who could not love me. i was hateful for a long time. our parents did this to us. they will never understand how we feel because they want us to feel sympathy for thier addiction. Its nuts. i just wanted to say i’msorry for your pain and it will get better <3 <3
Just want to say thank goodness for all those grandmothers, aunts and family members
who step in to love these beautiful children. So much anger in some people shows the lifelong effects addiction has. I hope you all find peace one day, you deserve it.
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