Post Secret Archive

YOU ARE FUUUUCKED UP

I fantasize like that too, but I just think it’s because it is hot. I don’t think there has to be a psychological reason for what turns you on. People just like different things.

i used to think that it was weird to fantasize like that, but now i’ve come to terms with it. i feel the same way about it that you do

until it actually happens and your world gets torn apart

I’m so glad I’m not the only one…and that now I know a little better why this turns me on so much…

i think its very common, its the feeling of desire.. the woman still wants to be in control to avoid the fear factor but having a guy want you that bad that its almost like a rape scenario is almost intoxicating

this is what confuses me is you want to be raped but rape by definition is him raping you against your will, and you want it to happen so its not rape.

*sigh* i dont understand some women. lol

I wholeheartedly agree with Bethany. The idea of having a man want you so much is what is such a turn on. Unfortunately, in many rape situations it isn’t that the man necessarily wants YOU and often they are a complete stranger. Although sometimes I also fantasize about this, I have to remind myself that there really is a shocking difference between my ‘rape fantasy’ and ‘rape’.

The thrill, I think, is that could potentially be seen as the pinnacle of unconditional love. To be loved without having to give anything back at all.

As a rape victim I used to feel extremely guilty about having these kinds of fantasies. Finding out that I wasn’t the only one was a big step in my recovery.

I was raped violently by a stranger and have never been the same since. Im sometimes stronger for it…sometimes a terrible mess.
But every time i fantasise…its of being taken with force and no regard. It disgusts me as much as it stimulates.
Years of sexual abuse and religous guilt has made it easier for me to hand over responsability for my sexuality….rape fantasies allow me this.
Then I cry.

Perfectly normal! It’s called BDSM–look into it and enjoy some books

The reason for this sort of fantasy is simple: she doesn’t want to be responsible for her sexual desire. She’s not fantasizing about rape as it actually occurs. She just doesn’t want sex to be her fault. Men would be a lot less confused about women if they understood this overwhelming need for a pretext to express desire.

I’m glad to know that this isn’t uncommon I thought I was fucked in the head for a while there.

Hello,

I am a clinical psychologist so i just thought I would reply to this comment. The difference here is that this is merely a fantasy, not something that this author neccesarilly wants acted out. I have vast experience with patients who have sexual fantasies that concern them…and this is fairly standard. As are lots of stranger things than this! If your fantasy really does start to bother you then go see a health professional, I am quite sure they will tell you similar to what I have just done. Good luck.

my boyfriend “play rapes” me once in a while, when i ask. He doesnt really like it, but i do. its exciting to be dominated, however, i would never wish to ACTUALLY be raped

This is not uncommon. Don’t feel guilty. AND you hit the nail on the head when you said you want someone to want you more than he can stand… really, it is probably less a rape than an intense need you want!

My ex liked rape fantasies as well. We would act them out at times; role playing. I admit it turned me on to, but I could live with or without them. Also, at the time I was an active drug user, which isn’t the case now. We are no longer together and although I quit using, she has not. She now is involved in even deeper and darker deviant sex and it truly disturbs me because she used to be such a beautiful person on the inside.

Personally, I believe she doesn’t value herself and feels pleasure should be melancholic and the lines perversely blurred. Much like the love she felt from family. Abusive and broken.

I worry about some people who post here. I don’t judge anyone. To do so would destroy the very gemstone that is post secret. Women are often interested in being dominated; but being taken against their will is a lot different than being beaten, bound, and violently assaulted. THAT is the reality of rape.

May that never happen to anyone here or elsewhere. Tragically however we all know it will and does everyday.

it’s ok to fantasize…but men don’t rape women (or any combination: women/men, men/men, women/women) because of sexual attraction. People who rape do it because they want power and control over the other person; it actually has little to do with sex. Rape is not a crime about sex, it is a crime about power.

I’m glad I saw this secret. Thank you for sharing it. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who fantasizes about something along those lines.

P hit the nail on the head.
There was a bit about this in savage love a few years ago. For me its about the guilt of female sexuality, we’re conditioned so that we’re ashamed of wanting someone sexually.
The rape fantasy is about justifying it ‘oh no, i didn’t want to, but that big naughty man made me’ If you look in most mills and boon type books there’s a lot of ladies thrown on the bed and ravished.

Interestingly this kink is found in a lot of rape victims.

I personally wish I didn’t have the kink and I’ve only been comfortable with one boyfriend enough to bring it up. But I still think it’s really hot.

I wanted myself to want a girl who cares about this.

I ask mine too! Thaaaaank god I’m not the only one = ]
He says he doesn’t really like it either
I just want to feel like he wants me SO much that he can’t control himself!

I have been raped once and sexually assaulted twice, and harrassed more times than I want to count. I am a lesbian (and was before the rape, thank you) and have happily been with my partner for more than five years. The thought of normal sex with a man disgusts me.

But some of my most vivid and arousing fantasies involve me being raped by a man.

Just saying, you’re not the only one.

Just throwing it out there. I’m a rape victim, and I have rape fantasies. So, no, just because someone on here is a rape victim, that does no give you the right to judge the person who posted this secret.
Rape fantasies are different then being raped. Rape fantasies are normal. Rape is not. There’s a difference.

Rape is an act of violent abuse. Rape is not about sex. The sexual component of rape is just a piercingly personal and poignantly hurtful aspect of a coercive act of domination and exertion of power, heinously, at the expense of another.

Sexual fantasies are about sex. They reflect the desire of sex from different aspects. The person who posted this is expressing that she wants someone to want her extremely. Sexual fantasies are not what we want in reality; they are an engine behind our desire.

Rape is bad. Sexual fantasies are good.

Distinction. I fantasize about being “raped” by men I desire. Specifically my boyfriend. Or another guy I may be attracted to or like.

It’s not actually rape so much as having a man dominate during sex, sometimes intensely and with force, sometimes with some pain. But it’s all pleasurable to me in a sexual way. And even better because I am trying to restrict something he wants so bad, and that’s really fun.

I don’t fantasize about being raped against my desires.

And I’m perfectly healthy.

not that I’m anyone to judge here but speaking from someone who has gone through the heart wrenching pain of being raped its really nothing anyone ever would want to go through. its not about them wanting you for you. It’s a life altering horror that no one should have to go through, and i find the idea of fantasizing about it disturbing

i had these, then it happened and i feel so stupid. ):

i completly understand i have told my boyfriend about it and he says one day he will surprise me with my rape fantasy… I can’t wait till he does…. i enjoy being dominated

Why would you ever fantasize about that? It’s a horrible thing and it ruins peoples lives. ITS NOT FUKCING FUNNY

i understand you, i like too to be dominated because i think that he is crazy about me, and i practiced it with an exboyfriend to be dominated and we were really happy to realize fantasies, that´s what they´re you just need to be comfortable doing them

Why oh WHY can’t people see beyond their own experiences and belief systems? All the people trying to make those who have had this fantasy are only showing their ignorance. This is one of the, if not THE, most common fantasy for women. And it’s totally harmless unless someone tries to take steps to make it a reality.

I know its not rational, but I’m so glad I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE.

I often have these exact thoughts.

it was odd when i read this because i swear it was something i worte. i always have fantasies like this, even about my boyfriend. and i know its because i always find myself thinking whenever i date someone that they dont want me. even when they do. it just doesnt seem like enough, they dont want me enough. and it sucks because i dont enjoy it at all when we have sex becuase i want him to want more.

I do exactly the same, i feel guilty for having such sick thoughts, but its my greatest fantasy to have someone need and want me that much.

I worry that my new boyfriend will never be as rough with me as I want him to be. It’s not that I like pain, I just love that someone wants you so much they can’t control themselves. I like knowing that I can cause that, it’s empowering.

that happens to me all the time. i think it’s just my fetish though i’m not embarrassed about it either. and don’t you let anyone judge you, because what they say doesn’t matter.

I would like to comment and say that…it isn’t bad for any person to fantisice about being raped…it’s the fact of knowing who is in control while doing that with your partner. The reason I say this is /c honestly I have tried it and loved…For those that have been raped and think this is just wrong in every matter of the sence..that’s honestly something you need to personally come to terms with…I was raped for four year…and raped also as a young child…yet looking at people with wonderful relationship and loving ones at that made me realize sex it self was not bad. For years I was terrified to even kiss someone. I reently was in a loving relationship that i gave the chance at role play. I am also currently still friends with the gentle man now. It comes down to the fact can you trust the man you’re with to even try that cause at the moment you are in a passionate heated moment everything is thrown in the wind and you completely lose yourself…during those moments your partner have to come to an understanding to which you can tell them that you’ve had enough and they will do so. Until that point needless to say DO NOT TRY THIS. I’m sorry if I offended anyone in advance…and please do not take me to be giving advice or telling you that rape victims should try such a thing…i’m jut stating simpy that it’s different for every person and noone should judge that in any form.

Fantasies like this are common. BDSM and other torture fantasies seem sexy. A lack of control is different when you’re really pulling the strings. It is more exciting when you know that you can call it off at any time. Plus, it is with someone you actually love and care for. You really do want it and a woman who has rape fantasies can still be raped. The whole idea of the fantasy is the ILLUSION of non-consent.

But her issue is not that she wants to be raped per se, isn’t it really obvious that she is just very insecure about herself? She wants her object of desire to be so incredibly turned on by her that he can’t stand it. It isn’t a horrible thought. It isn’t even really rape. It’s nice when your partner sees you getting out of the shower or something and just is so enamored by you that s/he just HAS to throw you down on the bed and make love to you RIGHT THEN. It isn’t rape because your playful “stop it” isn’t really a no.

I’m guessing the author of this PS isn’t in an established relationship with this particular man and that is why the fantasies turn a bit more violent. She just wants to be wanted, which is why it isn’t about rape at all. Rape is about power play, not love or sex. This woman obviously just wants to be loved.

Jeez. All the women here have fantasies about BEING raped. I’m a woman and I’m the rapist! Lol. I like to be the one who throws my boyfriend down and does naughty things to him. It is extremely possible to rape a man. A no is a no. Besides, I’m the more dominant partner. Of course, if he said the safe word I’d stop in a hot second. I’m not a monster, just a kink.

Luffy, that is the most sensible statement here thus far. However I have to say that some parts of fetishism are damaging and the by-product of some deeper less than admirable or balanced pathos.

BDSM begs the question: Why do I need to mix pain or humiliation with pleasure to in an effort to enhance said pleasure? Is it entire possible to convolute the sanctity of a relationship with sexual deviancy that negates ever finding lovemaking satisfying again; replaced with $%^&ing?

Does that constitute being sexually pigeon-holed or becoming sexually jaded or “turned out” as it were? It seems sad to me that we live in a world that sees sex as mot a means of communicating feelings in the context of a intimate or sexual setting, but instead simply a clinical and perverse means of sexual release. Love is rapidly being pushed out of the human condition and being tragically replaced with a series of serial transactions and self serving exchanges.

Wow, i thought i was the only one!

Love is being pushed away. I don’t understand what is becoming of society, and I’m very glad someone else shares these views. I’m a teen and very old fashioned. I plan on staying abstinent, but I do have these fantasies, mostly because I guess I don’t want it to be my fault…

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The most common example of these fantasies are the style of novel called Bodice Rippers. Like the person telling the secret said, we want a man to want us so fiercely that sometimes he can get violent. We like being wanted.

No..YOU ARE.

I admit I have these fantasies too…