I often have rape fantasies about the men I like

I often have rape fantasies about the men I like

I often have rape fantasies about the men I like.

I think it’s because I want someone I secretly care for to want me

More than he can stand.

93 thoughts on “I often have rape fantasies about the men I like”

  1. it was odd when i read this because i swear it was something i worte. i always have fantasies like this, even about my boyfriend. and i know its because i always find myself thinking whenever i date someone that they dont want me. even when they do. it just doesnt seem like enough, they dont want me enough. and it sucks because i dont enjoy it at all when we have sex becuase i want him to want more.

  2. I do exactly the same, i feel guilty for having such sick thoughts, but its my greatest fantasy to have someone need and want me that much.

  3. I worry that my new boyfriend will never be as rough with me as I want him to be. It’s not that I like pain, I just love that someone wants you so much they can’t control themselves. I like knowing that I can cause that, it’s empowering.

  4. that happens to me all the time. i think it’s just my fetish though 🙂 i’m not embarrassed about it either. and don’t you let anyone judge you, because what they say doesn’t matter.

  5. you’re lucky that you’re not embarassed xD
    gosh i just feel like such a weirdo that i think like that and the couple times i did tell someone about it they called me a freak and that i have issues. i dont want to care what people think but i do, alot. and i want to tell my boyfriend about this but i’m scared he wont understand and just think i’m fucked up like other people think.

  6. I would like to comment and say that…it isn’t bad for any person to fantisice about being raped…it’s the fact of knowing who is in control while doing that with your partner. The reason I say this is /c honestly I have tried it and loved…For those that have been raped and think this is just wrong in every matter of the sence..that’s honestly something you need to personally come to terms with…I was raped for four year…and raped also as a young child…yet looking at people with wonderful relationship and loving ones at that made me realize sex it self was not bad. For years I was terrified to even kiss someone. I reently was in a loving relationship that i gave the chance at role play. I am also currently still friends with the gentle man now. It comes down to the fact can you trust the man you’re with to even try that cause at the moment you are in a passionate heated moment everything is thrown in the wind and you completely lose yourself…during those moments your partner have to come to an understanding to which you can tell them that you’ve had enough and they will do so. Until that point needless to say DO NOT TRY THIS. I’m sorry if I offended anyone in advance…and please do not take me to be giving advice or telling you that rape victims should try such a thing…i’m jut stating simpy that it’s different for every person and noone should judge that in any form.

  7. i never said stranger rape doesn’t happen, nor that 24% was a small number. being just shy of a quarter, it isn’t, at all. but, i will say that it is a small number compared to many people’s ideas about rape. the general belief about rape, as kenichinu showed, is that the majority of people think the majority of rapes (if not all) are perpetrated by a complete stranger, which is completely untrue. yes, one women in every twelve will be raped by a stranger, but when you are over 18, the chance of being raped by someone you know is three times higher, when you’re a child, it’s over 13 times higher.
    i’m not discounting your experience, it was obviously more than horrific, like all rapes. i just think it’s very dangerous how society, and especially women, hold onto an idea that rape can only happen to them if they are out late at night, walking through a park or a car park alone. i was raped when i was 17, by my uncle. prior to that, i absolutely believed that rape only happened like i described above, by an old man hiding in bushes wearing a trench coat (naive yes, but it’s what i believed). if i had known the real facts, i’m not saying that i wouldn’t have been raped, but i don’t think i would have been as trusting as i was. who knows?

  8. If the poster is a straight woman (especially one in a relationship with a man) who has bicurious fantasies, it WOULD be harmful to rashly act on those thoughts without stopping to learn to understand them and herself first.
    I don’t think she meant anything too offensive by it.

  9. Fantasies like this are common. BDSM and other torture fantasies seem sexy. A lack of control is different when you’re really pulling the strings. It is more exciting when you know that you can call it off at any time. Plus, it is with someone you actually love and care for. You really do want it and a woman who has rape fantasies can still be raped. The whole idea of the fantasy is the ILLUSION of non-consent.

    But her issue is not that she wants to be raped per se, isn’t it really obvious that she is just very insecure about herself? She wants her object of desire to be so incredibly turned on by her that he can’t stand it. It isn’t a horrible thought. It isn’t even really rape. It’s nice when your partner sees you getting out of the shower or something and just is so enamored by you that s/he just HAS to throw you down on the bed and make love to you RIGHT THEN. It isn’t rape because your playful “stop it” isn’t really a no.

    I’m guessing the author of this PS isn’t in an established relationship with this particular man and that is why the fantasies turn a bit more violent. She just wants to be wanted, which is why it isn’t about rape at all. Rape is about power play, not love or sex. This woman obviously just wants to be loved.

    Jeez. All the women here have fantasies about BEING raped. I’m a woman and I’m the rapist! Lol. I like to be the one who throws my boyfriend down and does naughty things to him. It is extremely possible to rape a man. A no is a no. Besides, I’m the more dominant partner. Of course, if he said the safe word I’d stop in a hot second. I’m not a monster, just a kink. 🙂

  10. urghhhh, people like mariah really piss me off. “I am to judge as I am a RAPE VICTIM”. Since when does being a rape victim mean that you can judge people on a different level to everyone else?? get over yourself and stop projecting your self righteous bullshit onto everyone else. you are no different to the next person on this page, no matter how much you think you are, and you don’t have the right to judge people if it is deemed that others cannot just because of unfortunate life experiences.

  11. Luffy, that is the most sensible statement here thus far. However I have to say that some parts of fetishism are damaging and the by-product of some deeper less than admirable or balanced pathos.

    BDSM begs the question: Why do I need to mix pain or humiliation with pleasure to in an effort to enhance said pleasure? Is it entire possible to convolute the sanctity of a relationship with sexual deviancy that negates ever finding lovemaking satisfying again; replaced with $%^&ing?

    Does that constitute being sexually pigeon-holed or becoming sexually jaded or “turned out” as it were? It seems sad to me that we live in a world that sees sex as mot a means of communicating feelings in the context of a intimate or sexual setting, but instead simply a clinical and perverse means of sexual release. Love is rapidly being pushed out of the human condition and being tragically replaced with a series of serial transactions and self serving exchanges.

  12. Love is being pushed away. I don’t understand what is becoming of society, and I’m very glad someone else shares these views. I’m a teen and very old fashioned. I plan on staying abstinent, but I do have these fantasies, mostly because I guess I don’t want it to be my fault…

  13. The most common example of these fantasies are the style of novel called Bodice Rippers. Like the person telling the secret said, we want a man to want us so fiercely that sometimes he can get violent. We like being wanted.

  14. as did i :’/ although I wish to be raped by someone i don’t know :’|

  15. It’s a common fantasy. And that’s what is, A fantasy. Nothing in the world wrong with that.

  16. “I want someone I secretly care for to want me

    More than he can stand.” <— This wording is gorgeous….and i completely understand what you mean 😉

  17. I think she meant that there doesn’t have to be psychological trauma in a persons life, to influence what turns them on. What’s right for one is wrong for another, sexual preference doesn’t have to be related to the psyche. It’s true

  18. anon, wow thats soo true i started crying when i read this. you know exactly the way i feel. the part about being so desperate that he loses control was spot on. i have never been wanted or desired before so i wait for someone to look at me and say wow shes beautiful. but im not. im bulemic because of it. i have been for a year now and i havent lost a pound. i just hope that someone feels that burning desire to be with me. to be actually held for once in my life. no one would ever want to be the fat chick. so all i can do is fantasize. (fyi, im 14, 5’8 and 156lbs and just starting high school.)

    thank you, for understanding.

  19. Someone raping another isn’t about sex–it’s about control. Fantasizing about being dominated IS, however, about sex. Rape victims, calm down. It’s obviously not your cup of tea if you’re that offended (however, I too have been assaulted, but I’ve actually sought out help for it, and my boyfriend and I now have amazing, sometimes mildly domineering, sex).
    Maybe you people should understand the psychological differences between rape and sex, and understand that they are two completely different things, before you judge the original secret.

  20. I do believe in love. I don’t want my whole sexual exprience to be fucking. I have days where we don’t put on any illusions and just hold eachother. Make love. I think that the play keeps the bedroom playful and exciting, but I don’t want to ever give up the feeling that making love gives me.

  21. I’m a man and I too have these fantasies. I want to be that man who does the raping. I have felt like an awful person for years living with this secret, not being able to share, knowing most people would think i’m a monster. I’m not a monster, I never want to hurt another human being in any way i’m a kind person who cares for others but i want to be passionate…. i want to TAKE what I want, not ask politely. I don’t want to leave scars I just want you to lay there and secretly enjoy yourself while release this anger… I don’t want to be the nice guy anymore, he finishes last.

  22. I’m the same way with a certain man who I’ve always fantasized about, but never had the courage to make a move with. I just wish he wanted me as badly as i want him.

  23. I do too! Its almost like u reached inside my brain and spoke for me. When I was younger I wish this because it meant someone was attracted to me. At least someone found me sexy.

  24. I have the same thing. I’ve always been so ashamed of myself. My mom was raped when she was younger, and because of it, I feel like a monster for these fantasies

  25. Whatever floats your boat… but… most rape doesnt occur because a person needs to have sex with a particular person at that moment, they do it because they want to have power and control of them. If you want to fantasize about someone raping you because he wants you so badly, all the power to you. But theoretically if you were raped, the person likely wouldnt be raping you because he wants you `more than he can stand´ hed be raping you because he wants to dominate you and feel powerful.

  26. This is totally normal. I’ve done this too.
    Although I feel compelled to point out that rape is not a product of someone wanting you so much they can’t help it. That is society’s romanticized myth of rape. No, actually it is a deliberate lie. Rape is about control and anger, not overwhelming love and lust.

  27. When my boyfriend was on Post Secret and he came across this, one thing went through my mind. “That’s it” I told him before that I liked it rough, but we just assumed I was masochistic and that’s that… but the truth is.. I don’t like pain that much. And sometimes when I’m watching an anime or show and there is an evil character, I get attracted.. I don’t know why. I feel terrible typing this.. but the way this person worded it fits my thoughts exactly. I was never able to word it before, now I can..

  28. Mariah, I too am a RAPE VICTIM. I was drugged and raped and came to in the middle of the assult. It was the most horrible thing I have ever experienced. that said, both before and since I still had rape fantasies. It is estimated that anywhere from 25-55 percent of women have these fantasies and is completely natural. It is also natural that I still have them because. they say, it is my brain trying to retake control of the situation. Just because people have those fantasies does not mean that they want to be raped.

    And I agree with past posts, just because you are a rape victim, as am I, does not give you the right to judge others. Sexuality is a complex and complicated thing and the repression of sexuality can actually lead to more extreme behavior including (in more rare instances) RAPE and EVEN MURDER. the more you repress something the more you want it and often the desire builds and morphes into more extreme and twisted desires.

  29. I wonder if anyone has been raped here? Do you think real rape victims have felt this way before they were violated? I wonder what that woman thought after he was done… “fantasy accomplished”? I think not.

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