When I found out i had herpes
When I found out i had herpes, I wished it was AIDS so i could just die instead of being alone and unloved forever
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- I love you, but you’re a whore
You won’t be unloved forever…. i found out about four years ago and I told the guys I’m dating the first night and he was fine with it…I hope that you can be as lucky as I am!
Actually…I always knew I could love someone no matter what. I found it romantic when I was younger, hopeless right now, but I realize that it’s the bare reality. I hope you find someone who will love you anyway.
One of my best girlfriends got herpes, and she was just crushed… but she was upfront about it with every guy she dated–most never cared. They just decided to be cautious. Now she’s been married for 4 years and has a baby on the way. Things will look up!!!!!
Oh, I felt the same way. I’ve found it just makes you more selective about who you date and forces you to take things slowly. The first person I dated after I found out was absolutely wonderful about it and took great care to comfort me. We’re still together. You’ll find someone, and now you have a good reason to make sure they are extra special before you give your heart away.
*hugs*
I wouldn’t not date someone because of herpes.
And I bet you’re an amazing and beautiful person, and I bet if I knew you I’d love you.
I’ve had herpes for 20 years. I’ve loved many people; always after they’ve learned of my condition. I am still to this day amazed at the lack of drama, and existence of generous affection and adoration. When people love you, they will accept you. They will want you, despite your disease. Just be honest, every time.
my best friend said the same thing and just the thought of her dying made me cry because i love her and always will. Herpes isnt the end.
Sex isn’t love hun. If someone is worth it, they won’t care.
I’ve had it for 17 years. The first man I dated after the creep who gave it to me married me and we have 2 beautiful sons. It’s not the end. I promise.
You are NOT alone and you WILL find the right person to spend the rest of your life with. It just means you will have to be selective and careful. Careless sex is why you got it, now try saving sex for the one who really wants YOU.
As I stated on a previous comment, not everyone that gets herpes sleeps around. Way to perpetuate a stigma and assume that the user had “careless sex”… While careless sex can result in unwanted STIs, RAPE can also result in the same thing. Obviously you’re unaware of the fact that RAPE isn’t a choice.
OR maybe this person wasn’t RAPED (yeesh, easy there) or had a one night stand. It could have been her boyfriend and he wasn’t upfront with having herpies. It doesn’t always have to be something violent or careles…just a lack of communication.
up to 80% of people who have herpes are unaware that they have it.
It doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault.
I have herpes and I do not and never have slept around. I got it from my husband when he had a cold sore he wasnt aware of yet. And yes, I know it came from him because HSV I and HSV II are different strains of the virus that can be tested. I have genital HSV I which is a lot rarer than genital HSV II. I cant stand when people automatically assume if you have herpes you must be some sort of slut. Obviously this is NOT the case.
I was raped when I was 14 years old and got HPV. I did not sleep around, I was not sexually active. I have told everyone I have been with since then and they all have understood and we were always very cautious. Luckily mine is the one of the kinds that does not cause cervical cancer and I have not gotten warts, nor have the people I’ve been with. Mine just kind of sits there and does nothing but make it easier for me to get yeast infections.
I was raped on my fifteenth birthday and ended up getting herpes.
My boyfriend didn’t know he had a sore in his mouth and gave me genital herpes through oral sex. Then I gave him genital herpes several months later. I have at least 3 other friends who have it, one from rape, the others not. It’s really not that bad, it just has a stigma of being this disgusting, horrible thing. I take medication, but even if you don’t get medication for it, it’s not the end of the world.
A lot of people have already replied to this comment, but I’ll add my two cents, too. This is the kind of ignorance (i.e. believing you only get herpes or stds through “careless sex”) that creates horrible stigmas and makes life for the people who contract these diseases so much harder than it has to be. Yes, it is true that you can contract an std through unprotected sex, but you can actually contract one through protected sex two. The chances of transmission for herpes, because of the nature of the disease and way of transmission, in particular are scarily high, protected or unprotected sex, with medication or not. And many people that have herpes don’t even know it because either they have never had an outbreak or they’ve had an outbreak that was so slight they mistook it for an infection or something else. The virus also can easily “shed” in between outbreaks or even if you’ve never had an outbreak, when there are no sores. Also, cold sores, typically HSV I, are herpes. So, you can get herpes simply from sharing silverware or a cup with someone who is having a cold sore outbreak or shedding the virus in between. Basically, as said by others before, just because a person has an std doesn’t mean that person is a slut, sleeps around, or has unprotected sex. Before you pass judgement, educate yourself, otherwise you come off as insensitive and ignorant and other people end up paying for it.
If you need someone to talk to at anytime i’m here. i’ve been through it. my name is sarah and im 20. talk to me if you need to
A quote from a Laurie Notaro article that makes me have hope:
“We’ll get tested. And besides, if I’m going to have anyone’s sex cooties, I want to have your sex cooties.”
It’s not the end of the world…
If they can’t accept it, they’re not worth it.
There are STD dating sites out there too, try herpesonline.org/herpes_dating
or just search for ‘STD dating’
Smile,
C xx
You won’t always be alone. I dated a man with herpes for 4 years. AN no I do not have it. Just be careful. If someone loves you, they will LOVE ALL OF YOU. To this day I still love him.
I feel the exact same way.
I’m only 16…..most days I can deal with it. It’s part of who I am, it’s not ALL of me. I shouldn’t let it take over my life.
..but the other days, I wish I could just stop breathing.
If you want to talk, let me know.
Geez, HIV isn’t a death sentence now days!
if you fuck around enough, Im sure you can get that too!
Ignorant assholes like you are the reason there’s still a stigma attached to STIs. Not everyone that gets herpes “fucks around”… in case you were unaware of it, there’s a little thing called RAPE. Rape can also result in unwanted STIs. Go fuck yourself and die.
Don’t judge them. You don’t know their story. There are people who get raped & contract herpes, not because they “fucked around.”
I’ve had it for almost 14 years now, from my first love (not careless sex), and while I have found some that some are ignorant (I had one woman tell me that “sex with a condom is like a slap in the face”- in hindsight I’m glad I didn’t have sex w/ someone like that… well that and she’s coocoo for cocoa puffs) a majority of people that paid attention in health class aren’t OVERLY worried. It also helps if you yourself understand the disorder and can comfort and explain the situation.
there is a cure for that!
I hate to say it, but there isn’t one.
..at least not yet. We’re still fighting for it.
i wish you died too
herpes only hapens to ugly people
so you must be realllly ugly
but who in their right mind would hook up with you
you probably got it from the half eaten sandwich you ate out of the garbage
im guessing yyour poor too
life sucks
mexico rocks
Guess what ? you are a pathetic pile of shit.
For you to pull a terrible excuse like looks for this obviously shows just how insecure you are about yours. (by the way, since I’m guessing you’re not the brightest crayon in the box, I’ll explain; you’re probably the ugly one.)
1 out of 4 girls have herpes.
1 out of 5 guys have it too.
Guess what ? Roughly 80% of these people don’t even realise they have it. You just might be one of them.
man have you got some lessons headed your way
the only ugly person I see here is you my friend. I feel sorry for the troubles you have coming to you. Humility is a hard lesson to learn…
LOL. you’re fucked. get a life. and stop being so negative to a situation you can’t relate to.
What is herpes?
I felt totally dirty when i found out, but then i got educated and its so incredibly common that i began to not feel so alone. its something to deal with for the rest of my life but its ok. a sexual health nurse told me that its so common and if you have it you are shedding the virus alot of the time anyway that its not worth the worry of explaining to each and every person you want to have sex with that you have it. there’s a good chance that they’ve been exposed already anyway. i got type 1 from oral sex, the person who gave me oral sex was just starting to come down with a cold sore…….
It is most definitely worth the worry. Remember the way you felt when you found out about your condition ? Do you not realize how wrong it is for you to let someone else feel like that just because “they might have it too, anwyays.”? Spreading the disease doesn’t solve anything. Everyone you sleep with has the right to know if you are carrying any infections. Would you really be able to live with the guilt of knowing you may have given “each person you want to have sex with” herpes ? I know I wouldn’t.
Please grow up. You’re the one who has lessons headed your way. Herpes obviously shouldn’t stop people from living their everyday lives but it is NOT something that you should forget about so easily and overlook.
i’m sorry you feel that way. I didn’t mean you have lessons headed your way it was camilo i was referring to. do you have herpes too? forgive me if you already know all of this but anyway…i researched this for a while and spoke to various people and it is not something i take lightly. condoms do not nesessarily provide protection, the virus is shed from the skin around the entire genital area even when you don’t have symptoms. what are we meant to do? never have sexual contact with anyone or tell everyone that we think we may have sex with that we have it. In reality that is not going to happen, the chances that they have had contact with it already is high, as you mentioned in your comment. One doctor thought that it may now be as high as 1 in 2 that have had contact and subsequent immunity or antibodies at least. explaining to someone that you have herpes is difficult i know, any kind of std certainly shuts done spontanaety to some extent. it is a difficult situation and it is a part of me.
you don’t seem to understand.
ANY person you EVER sleep with has the RIGHT to know you have herpes.
Thats how I got it too. My husband was just coming down with a cold sore and now I have it! Lol, although I have only had 2 outbreaks in 4 years which isnt so bad I suppose
i have had it for awhile now. I thought it was the end of the world and even tried to kill myself.. I finally left the cheating jerk. now 6 years and a few boyfriends later.. I am getting married… also i told them all up front. and i have learned to talk about it and to even take the bad jokes… my friends all know i have it and are comfortable talking to me about it or if they think they have it….
You won’t be unloved forever. Whenever you find that special person, if they really love you they will not care. It’s not the end of the world, & you’re definitely not alone ..
Don’t let this become of who you are. When you find someone (you absolutely will) they will love you for who you are and who you can become,
I thought the same thing.. within a month I found out I also have HIV.
I am only 21. I was 18 when it happend.
I knid of know what you mean.
When I found out that I had the strain of HPV that gives you cancer instead of warts, I was actually relieved.
Cancer is managable but warts are gross.
I know a girl with herpes and you know what?
Nobody cares. She’s still the same person. She takes medication to control it.
She hasn’t given it to anyone. She lives a normal life and still has boys that fight over her.
Chin up.
The worst things that ever happened to me happened when I didn’t tell. Both times, and it was bad, I got beat up, got talked about. I moved to tx and aince then even tho its scary, I’ve learned to have the talk first. I did fall in love, and she with me and altho its harder for me because I’m a lesbian, I have hope now. She and I are not together anymore, but I know now that its out there. It was both a blessing and a curse. I have definatly become more housewife than hoe. Lol
I have herpes and am a lesbian too, how do you deal with it…. as in what protection do you use?
You can use dental dams for oral sex, and use condoms with sex toys or at least antibacterial soap to keep it from transferring.
i was going to send the exact same secret to post secret. i still think im alone even though i am assured that im not by my current boyfriend. i still wish that when they take my blood test they let me know i am HIV positive, so he can stop hiding his feelings and tell me how he truly feels.
You people who would rather have HIV are F***ing crazy. Herpes is a completely managable condition (one that I have lived with for 7 years) and although I understand how hard it is to tell someone that you’re with, it is nothing compared to what people with HIV have to go through. Herpes is a minor inconvienience and in some ways I’m glad I have it. That way when I tell someone about it and they don’t freak out (which by the way, no one ever has)I know that they are actually some one worth being with. Please understand that it is really not a big deal at all. And to show you how common it is, I have it, my best friend has it and 2 of my other close friends have the oral kind. None of us sleep around and none of us got it from eachother. Suck it up and deal with it. You’ll be stronger if you do.
I had someone pretend to be my good friend and then tell every guy she set me up with that I had herpes. Only one of the 4 guys has spoken to me again. And it’s just as a friend. People judge you. My own family judged me. I’m not allowed to babysit in the family anymore because of my “bad judgement”. I’d rather be alone or dead then tell another person.
My housemate once told me she had herpes without getting into the details of how she got it. (She had to be taken to the hospital once for some other reason and the nurse took her aside on seeing the result of the blood test – Since I witnessed this, she probably felt like explaining it to me). I googled herpes and was a little grossed out but decided that I shouldn’t care. I forced myself not to judge.
Things went on normal the first few months that we shared the apartment. And then I became really DISGUSTED. She had guys over so often.. she definitely was more promiscuous than what is considered normal in society.
Next time anyone tells me he/she has herpes, I cannot help but judge. Does this make me a bad person? I’m sorry.. what was happening in that apartment was gross.
Just because one prissy blond girl is a bitch and makes your life miserable doesnt mean that all blond girls will be the same.
In that way, someone with herpes is exactly the same. Whilst some may have contracted the disease by being careless, others have been unfortunate to come across the condition without making any mistakes. Just because one girl isn’t careful with her condition doesnt mean that everyone else will be. It makes sense for you to be disgusted by her because of what she may be doing to other people, but that absolutely does NOT give you the right to be digusted by anyone who has herpes. A person with herpes could be just as clean as you…hell, a person with herpes could BE you.
Yes, it does make you a judgemental person. I got herpes from my “faithful” boyfriend.
And what, exactly, does society consider a non slutty percentage of sexual partners? Why should you care? How do you know she didn’t tell them?
I got it the first time I ever had sex and we used a condom. Two years later I avoid relationships due to the absolute fear that we would have sex and I would give them Herpes. I would hate to think that I would make someone feel as bad as I do.
This is my secret too.
I met a boy a few weeks ago and I straight up told him about the possibility of me having herpes.
He still talks to me and our relationship has been growing just like anyone else’s would have.
Don’t be shy, give him all the facts, and if they’re worth it, they’ll stay. There are plenty of ways to avoid giving herpes to your partner. Stay calm and stay safe.
Funny that this was written on my birthday…just a note to say I understand, I’m in the same spot (2 years as well; a guy I was dating told me he was clean…guess he lied) and I have to believe the others are right and that someday, if we wait for someone who genuinely is looking for something more than a short-term situation, our affliction will be accepted and won’t hinder love. Hang in there — this has almost cost me my life by my own hand (there were some dark nights as I struggled to accept this condition) and I know how difficult it can be. Reach out to your friends — mine have kept me going!
You don’t have to get herpes from sex. I have always had cold sores, and one day ended up with genital herpes. Many people don’t realize that if you already have cold cores that the virus can show up in other parts of your body. You can also have an outbreak and not know it. This is called asymptomatic shedding. I don’t sleep around, and my partner does not have herpes.
One of my friends has herpes. I love her as a friend, and I had a huge crush on her for a long time. The fact that she has herpes wouldn’t have had any impact on that, at all. I would have just been a lot more careful. She’s been dating the same guy for right at two years, so it’s not the end of your love life. Just be prepared for a small percentage of guys to be pretty put off by it, be prepared for ignorance and rumors, and be prepared to be very careful in the bedroom. What a few other people have said is true: it makes you take things more slowly. In that, you have an advantage over the rest of us. At least you will know if a guy is really interested in you, or he just wants a quick lay. In any case, some of us are still human and are more concerned with who the person is inside. The rest is just details. My girlfriend often tells me that my perception of her is clouded by my love for her. We have been together for four years, and she is still my personal Goddess.
I posted the above comment, but I wanted to add something. I’m Josh, with the girlfriend of four years from above. Anyway, when my gf and I started dating, I thought she had HPV. I heard a rumor and I knew she told me there were abnormalities on her pap, and they thought it was HPV. I didn’t know the test results came back negative, because I assumed she would have told me. I was still interested, because I was a grown man looking for love, not just physical gratification.
I Love You
even if We never meet
I still do
My dads first wife had herpes. He didn’t divorce her because she had herpes, he divorced her because she never told him until after they were married. at that point he had already caught herpes. years later he met my mother and he was upfront about it ON THE FIRST DATE! she loved him anyway. so will find love and if you don’t find love then find me because i will love you.
I felt the EXACT same way. I tried to kill myself when I found out. I still kinda wish it.
I thought I’d rather they tell me that I had HIV and then yesterday my doctor told me that there is a good possibility that I do have HIV. I was so wrong. Herpes is at least managable.
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My exboyfriend cheated on me and gave me herpes. I was afraid that I would NEVER be loved or want to be touched by anyone again. I told my current boyfriend that I had herpes — he asked me to be his girlfriend 30 minutes later. If they truly care about you, it won’t matter. There are ways around it and I promise you… you ARE LOVED.