I’m tired of waiting for my birthday because the only way
I can show him I love him
Is to give him my virginity
But he won’t let me until I’m 16
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The whole ‘no sex before marriage’ is totally and fundamentally flawed as an approach. Firstly, it means you have literally zero experience of what will be a major part of your married life. If he is the same, then you will both most likely miss out on most of the fun, as you won’t know what you’re doing (sex IS a skill, one that you certainly do get better at over time). The alternative is that you will go at it like rabbits and be thinking,’why, oh, why, did I deprive myself of one of the most pleasurable aspects of life for so long?’
Secondly, one of the ‘must have’ items in your check list for a partner has got to be chemical compatibility. I have been head over heels for girls before only to find that just kissing them is enough to put me off. This is something totally out of your control and you simply cannot know your sexual compatibility with someone until you actually sleep with them.
You know what? I’ve just realised quite how futile my words are, against the brainwashing of the religious busybodies. If it genuinely feels right for you (and think long and hard about whether it’s what YOU want, or those around you want for you), then knock yourself out, but you will almost certainly regret it in the long run.
And to those who would say it, no, I’m not advocating rushing out and grabbing the nearest heartbeat as soon as you turn 12.
Until the 20th Century most women had children before they were 16…….In fact most were married by 12.
Ahhh, Everstrike. Did you read the postcard? She doesn’t indicate she doesn’t want to have sex with him, just that he won’t with her. Kinda the polar opposite to what you said.
en garde!
That has got to be the most selfish, self-righteous, misleading and fundamentally…fundamental thing I have EVER heard anyone say.
The VAST majority of people on this planet have health sexual relations, don’t have massive hangups about it one way or the other and just get on with their lives, recognising that sex is dangerous, but only if treated carelessly, much like a car. Sex is the most instinctive of all our endeavours, is vital to our survival and can be a source of immense pleasure, whatever your age. Best of all, it’s completely natural. In fact, the only un-natural part of your comment was the reference to God and marriage, both of which are, of course, man-made. To limit sex to marriage only denies it’s ability to provide pleasure to both parties and reducing it to a functional baby-producing activity.
As for ‘pain you have never know existed’, how about the 17 year old girl who is terrified she’ll die a virgin because she has leukaemia? I have known one, so this is not just an analogy.
All you really indicate here is that YOU made some bad choices which resulted in you becoming a religious nut (sorry, I meant ‘child of god’). The Christian Church’s attitude to sex is one of the most warped and damaging influences in the world, simultaneously destroying the confidence and independence of children and teenagers the world over whilst physically destroying everyone else (no condoms allowed. Got AIDS? Still no condoms…who really thinks this is sensible advice?).
Most sensible thing anyone’s said on here so far.
Women play at sex because they want love and men play at love because they want sex.
In fact, it’s a good test. If he stays around afterwards, he really does love you! But you won’t know until it’s too late…..
This just means don’t be a moron, use a condom, not don’t have sex.
You ever think she may have been cheating on you because she was needed and wanted sex and you wouldn’t give it to her?
Withholding sex is grounds for divorce, after all.
Can it not just be for fun? I have ex’s who are very good friends who I’ve had the odd fling with. Nothing taken too seriously by anyone and a lot of fun had by all. Some fantastic memories, some relationships made closer and no harm done. Sex is like a car: it can seriously enhance your life or kill you stone dead. The choice is very much in your hands.
And what happens if you’re not sexually compatible? What happens if you find out too late that the guy you’re going to spend the rest of your life with has a tiny winkie?
Either A) sex is important, in which case, you need to test the product before you buy it (for life), or B) sex isn’t important, in which case, well, um.
There is no B.
Um, forgive me if I’m out of line here, but what on EARTH has this got to do with God?
This is between a 15 year old girl and her boyfriend. End of story. God, or more specifically, people’s impressions of God only serve to muddy the water with unsubstantiated claims and misinformation.
I think it’s admirable that he put a time frame like that on it. Most guys around your age would just be gunning to get laid. I think it shows that he respects you, wants to make sure you’re ready, and wants to make sure that you are sure it’s what you want. He might be worth hanging on to. Even if it doesn’t work out in the long run, at least it seems he genuinely cares for you.
i lost my virginity at 15 and i never regret it. Maybe some people have different ways of seeing it, but i knew i was ready to have sex. Even though the guy was some what of a jerk i’m NOT emotionally damaged or scarred for life just because i gave him my virginity. Sex was something i did for myself not for someone else. I’m not a slut, i don’t sleep around i’m now 19 and i’ve only had sex with 3 people all of them were serious boyfriends. If you’re ready now, you’re ready now, but you can’t say “its the only way to show him that i love him” that really proves that you are not ready. so its good that he’s making you wait til you’re 16. As for everyone else theres no right or wrong way to view sex people see it how they see it and if some people think pre marrital sex is wrong then thats their perogative the trick is not pushing you’re opinions in peoples faces in an obnoxious way.
actually, no. it doesn’t hurt if you start with smaller things first… like fingering, masturbation, small dildos and vibrators to stretch out your skin and muscles… which is smart anyways. why jump into the riskiest thing first?! jeeeze, people, get educated before you try to give advice to people who wanna hop on it.
Sex is the cat’s pajamas.
but the younger you start, the more partners you’ll likely have in your life.
and so you have a heightened chance of picking something up.
My husband has had a half dozen partners and it ended up getting him into trouble.
in the end, no one regrets waiting. If your man can’t deal with it, he’s the wrong man for the deed anyway.
Whatever you choose in the end, just be safe! and don’t do anything that isn’t going to make you happy.
sounds more like lust than love.
Nord you are a jerk.
If the girl had loved him, she would never have done such a thing.
If you jump into bed with every person you go on a date with no one is special.
Waiting until you feel it’s totally right makes a huge difference. it makes that person special.
this is modern times,
society had changed so that children can not be married to men.
sarcasm/irony aren’t your forte, are they Katie?
You don’t see any irony in the fact that he waited, citing that he didn’t sleep with her because ‘it still didn’t feel right with her’ (i.e. not thinking about how she felt about it), and clearly getting it so completely wrong, by virtue of the fact that she clearly was ready and willing, that she was actually out there cheating on him.
This is just too funny. His lack of understanding of causality (glad I didn’t sleep with her because she was cheating on me….) is stupefying and I have to confess, highly entertaining.
Obviously, knowing that I’m pushing the buttons in your little mind too only adds to the entertainment!!
Oh honey! You’re so young! Sex is NOT the only way to show you love someone! It’s not even the BEST way to show someone you love them! I hope you wait longer… I hope you’re not hurt…
There are other ways to show love other than having intercourse. I hope that you can find other ways to love and be loved. If your partner is the one saying this to you then they might not be the right one for you right now (but you probably wouldn’t see that until afterwards). Make the right decision for YOU! Best wishes.
I agree with this… fortunately, my first time was at 21 with the right person, and I haven’t had to go through the self-torture and scarring that so many other people go through at earlier ages. So think about it: it took me until I was 21 to find the right guy, 21 years for me to find the right guy that I could go through this special act with with 0 inhibition and 0 regrets. It’s only made us closer and more in love with each other. I can’t imagine how awkward and uncomfortable it would be with someone that wasn’t. I have no regrets about waiting until I was 21, which is considered “old” in many Western countries. Please wait until you’re older and absolutely sure.
It’s really sad that you think that’s the only way to prove your love for him… good luck to you both… your future sounds bleak.
And so you know, I say this because I did something similar when I was 16. It was the biggest mistake of my life and 4 years later I regret it every day… and so does my fiance. You’re ruining your future before it’s even started. And if that’s really how your boyfriend needs to know you love him, then there is no love in his heart.
That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Sex is the ultimate way to show love, by sharing something so private of yourself with another person. It’s only the worst way to show love if you do it to if you’re not doing it for love.
I can’t believe anyone in the world would think that.
For real if he needs to see that you really love him by giving it up. Your with the wrong guys. He should respect you enough to understand that your not ready.
this is really a reply to Nord.
Just because you like banging girls for the hell of it doesn’t mean everyone does and it doesn’t mean every guy falls for girls if they give it up more. Mine didn’t and I know many who would punch you in the face just for saying that. So, take your predetermined solutions and opinons and shove them up your ass where they can be found by someone who obviously agrees
you’re right. and i like your title.
yeah, it means he doesn’t wanna get taken off to jail. Stop being naive.
“In fact, the only un-natural part of your comment was the reference to God and marriage”
Nord, some of the stuff you say makes sense [ie- sex being something that must be accepted subconsciously... I learned that in psych.]and some of it is, clearly, blinded by blantant and overly forward ignorance.
Do try to keep your own warped religious opinions out of your comments. Maybe then people will actually repsect what you’re saying. Religious or not, you sound like an opinionated moron.
definitnely.
That’s not the way to show someone you love them…
I like how everyone is bashing on the guy here, when he’s not the one in the wrong. He’s MAKING her wait (‘but he won’t let me until I’m 16′), which is something that is actually VERY noble, in my opinion. He could’ve been some asshole that lets his 13 year old girlfriend give up her virginity to him and then leaves her a couple weeks later like someone I know. :\
Oh my god.. I totally agree with Nord!
I’ve had a similar experience, I married young, had a pitiful sex life with a man who knew nothing about giving pleasure. I thought it was me, that I was frigid and possibly incapable of orgasm.
Now after my divorce in 2003 I’v discovered that I was just with the wrong person! My lover is the kindest, most open minded, passionate man on the planet!
I have multiple O’s and gush!
Thank god I had the sense to leave a sad excuse for a marrige and find my own true passionate side.
I love sex..especially with the right person!
my first time felt good we “prepared” fingering and such felt pretty good once we did
I’m sorry you feel like you have to give him sex to show him you love him. That’s not the only way and I encourage you to wait. He is only saving his own butt by making you wait until you are 16 and if he loves you so much he would respect you and not want to take your virginity from you. There are so many wonderful men and women in the world who are waiting until they are married to have sex, and you don’t have to give your virginy away either. If he’s telling you that sex is the only way to show him you love him, then you are obviously the only one who is truly in love…he is just waiting to use your body. I truly hope you find a wonderful man who will love you for who you are without asking for your virginity.
he is only making her wait so he doesn’t get charged with rape! That doesn’t exactly fit with your idea of “love” Nord
There is nothing wrong with making a girlfriend wait until 16 before letting her give her virginity.
26 , on the other hand…
Finding a virgin to marry is problematic unless one sticks with the fourteen and under crowd.
How is it respectful to NOT take away someone’s virginity?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of that?
Having sex is necessary to prove manhood.
I am 32 and a virgin; I feel like I am less of a man than other men.
Not to mention proving one’s manhood.
I would have forgot about it when you turn 17, as he would be with somebody else. Give it away only AFTER marriage
So she should marry him before she turns seventeen?
Mine hurt real bad… then again i was 13 and had nothing up there before.
Or he doesn’t want to go through trying to get another girl to the point of wanting to have sex, really, seems easier to get someone to keep having sex than to get someone else to have sex with you for the first time
I think you’ve had about the best reply to this kind of comment yet
Sex is NOT about “preforming” or “having experience”. If you love someone that much that you’d share yourself with them wholely, than you’ll wait. And, as a nineteen year old guy, I not only am a virgin, but I plan to wait for marriage to share myself with only one person…my future bride.