Post Secret Archive

i can’t even describe how much i can relate to this.

This is the exact reason,
that I have never spoken up about my depression.

I-ve been on them for two years and i was terrified at first but i’ve found they changed me into a better person.

I just started taking them 4 days ago myself… so I hear you. It’s scary. I wonder if people will like me more or less… and even if I will be the same person. I just don’t know. But I have to do something because I can’t go on the way I was.
You are not alone.

they started me on 2 anti-depressants, 1 anti-anxiety, 1 anti-psychotic and 1 mood stabilizer. i feel like… if i need this much medication to make me function… i must be insane.

that scares me. that i might just be that crazy.

It won’t, Zoloft changed my life forever (in a good way!)!

I have been under treatment for almost eight years and sometimes I do not know who I am anymore. Eventually, sadness will come back but for other reasons.

I feel the same way….It’s the only reason why I haven’t gone to the doctor, even though I know I should

i feel the same way

When i started taking ADHD medication, i was scared
that i would calm domw and become a different person
that my friends wouldnt like anymore.

It acctually happened….
My friend dont know i take te meds,
but they all say ive changed.

i was put on anti-depressants when i was 12. and i thought i was given them so i would change and listen to my parents more, and argue with authority less. all that happened was i felt better about myself. 11 years later i am still difficult in some of the same way i still dont like being told what to do but i am less miserable and nicer to myself. a good therapist and the right medication will improve your life not change you into someone that other people want you to be.

Hey,I never done this before but here it goes,… I’m now 17 and I was put on a wack load of medication (anti-depressants, anti- psychotics, insomnia) when I was 13 or 14, I still am struggling and I have break downs but my friends haven’t guessed a thing. I was scared too but I am more scared of who I am without them. So here’s some advice:
1. Open the blinds, the windows, the curtains, the doors… just get some light in there.
2. Don’t feel pressured or obliged to see anyone or anything
3. Do what you have to… scream if you want to scream, cry if you want to cry , sleep when you want to.. or just hide under the covers, even if it takes days, you will want to get out of bed eventually, even if its just for five minutes its a start heck those five minutes can feel like you’ve climbed Everest, just take your time
So they can take up to 6 weeks to kick in, but if you don’t like what one medication is doing to you or how you feel on it especially if it’s making you worse change it. there’s a world of other ones out there.

those are the same tabs i have to take. i have the same fear so much so i avoi taking them and just lie with the suicidal thoughts

That’s exactly how I feel, and I’ve been on the antidepressants for two months.

I started anti-depressants about a month ago because my depression made me feel like everyone hated me. I feel so much better now.

I’m in a similar boat. While I also suffer from depression, it’s because of epilepsy that I’m medicated. Every different medication I’ve been on, over the years, has changed my personality in profound ways. I look back at my 39 years and realize that I no longer have any clue who I am.

I feel the same way, im too scared to tell anyone though in fear that they will think its a stupid thing to think. Im not sure if im actually happy or if it is just the tablets, its made me scared to be happy.

I’ve been taking Lexapro and Welbutrin for 8 months. I don’t like it that I have to take medication, but it’s like if I had diabetes…I would have to do something to keep my sugar levels balanced. I have to take my meds to keep the chemicals in my brain balanced. It hasn’t changed who I am or my personality; it just allows me to feel healthy. When I feel healthy, I am more likely to do things and be involved with the life happening around me.

If you are in the beginning of this, remember that you CAN feel normal again. Set very simple goals for your day (one of mine was that I would open the back door and take a deep breath). Slowly you’ll be able to add more and then more complicated ones. When the meds start to work and you think “Alright! I’ve made it!”, hang on to your boot-straps, cause you could have a brief relapse…don’t let it knock you down. Just remember always, “This too shall pass.”

It’s like a roller-coaster, but the longer you work on it the smaller the hills and valleys become. My valleys now are almost non detectible.

I’m scared to talk to my mom about getting them…

anti-deps. make me act happier but strangely im more satisfied being sad. i wont explain though

I know I need them. but my boyfriend will think I’m crazy and wouldn’t want to face the facts. I also don’t have money or insurance. but I know how you feel. if you feel that way, stop taking them. take something else.

I am 18. I just started my medication about a month ago and I can honestly see the difference in my happiness, my family, and my work. I have not once regretted my decision because now I feel as if I have the answers; Last night was the first time I felt at ease sleeping in 10 years.

okay…this is killing me inside so i’ll say it here…
i am 16. in january, my mom almost died. she has emphysema and she had pnemonia but she didnt go to the doctor. i woke up at 4:00am to the sound of my mother gasping for air. i walked into the living room and saw her. my dad already called the ambulence. then, she stopped breathing…she went stiff, her lips were blue, and i saw it all…and i can never un-see it no matter how much i try. she was in the ICU.
she is fine now, but now im the one who is messed up. i live in fear everyday…scared that my throat will close and my heart will stop. i obsessively take my pulse to make sure im alive (ridiculous, i know). and when it starts to get dark, the panic attacks get worse…sometimes i work myself up so much that i cant swallow my food, so i cant eat. i have a hard time trying to get to sleep because i imagine myself not waking up, and i think about ‘what if my mom or dad or brother dont wake up’
it is so hard to live like this…well, im not even living…my life is thinking about death. i dont want to die…i just think about it. after the incident with my mom, i started seeing a therapist at school. a week ago i went to the doctor and she wants to put me on anti-depressants for my anxiety. my friend told me that they make everything gray…you dont feel anything. and i am so scared. sometimes i think maybe that is better, but there are times that i am happy and “death thought free”. i am embarassed that i am like this and i feel stupid. and nothing is working…i try to distract myself but that only works so long, because at night everything comes back.
my doctor told me to ask my therapist what he thought about meds, but i was embarrassed and i couldnt bring myself to ask him.
i go to the doctor next friday. i dont know what to say to her. or my therapist. or my parents. or my brother. or myself…i dont want to burden others; i dont want them to worry. but i dont know what to do.

I do not take meds but some of my friends do and they went through the same thoughts. I told them that people are not real friends if they do not like you anymore. Along the way they lost people who they thought where there friend but now the friends they do have are their true friends. It’s hard but worth it in the end you are possibly more happy and know who loves you.

There’s a way to cope with depression
his name is Elliott Smith

I don’t know if the anti depressents were the cause or not, but i’ve aways guess they at least had a pretty big impact.

After taking them for close to a year, i’m left with no emotions and a horrifcly vauge memory of anything. My entire mind is clouded.

I think it was them because when I was on them everthing was very clouded, so much so I didn’t realize it until I had misplaced the pills for three days and saw the new energy and life i had just from being off them for the short time I stopped taking them then and there. That is the decisn I never regretted, the one I did was when I started to take them.

Sure they made it so I wasn’t sad, but now I’m nothing. I’m nothing that has a hard time telling the different between yesterday and the day before, and today.

I had the same worries, and about two months ago my girlfriend split up with me because she ‘didn’t know who I was.’
I’ve been on antidepressants for nearly two years now, and they have done me a world of good. People who dismiss depression are the weakest ones.
I’m not saying take them or don’t take them, I’m just saying they work for me, and I will soon be able to come off of them.
It’s only a short term thing.

We will like you for who you are, no matter what.

Signed,
Your Friends.

My mom and my grandma started forgetting things like crazy when they were on the antidepressants. . .and they couldn’t even tell that they changed!

This is exactly, exactly what im afraid of.
And ive decided to try to work my problems out myself.

They will change you. They changed me and I have never been the same.

Anti Depressants DID change who I am. 8 years without them and I’ve learned to live again.

Don’t drug your life away… Learn to see it for what it is.

Beautiful.

A few years ago I took antidepressants when dealing with some marital problems and the death of a family member. I was reluctant to take medication but antidepressants helped; the pain and problems were still there, but the medicine helped me cope better. There are other ways to deal with depression. Exercise and a good diet can help, and if you find the right therapist, counseling can be life changing. Whatever path you take to heal, do get help and don’t go it alone. Life can get better.

I feel for you…anti-depressants changed me a lot, but it helped in a good way in the end. It managed my depression, which was the main component of my personality. In the end, I discovered who I really was.

I was afraid of that too. Not too long ago, actually. But I never lost my essence. I was and am still me. Only now, I’m not preoccupied with taking my own life. I’m no longer afraid of living…

I believe it can only change you for the better. I have about 14 years experience in this area. It can be scary but give things a chance you never know where life will lead you.

A LOT of people feel this way so first of all, know that you are not alone. Anti-depressants did not change who i was, but instead made people see the real me, the happy, outgoing personality i knew i had but could never express. i have never regretted my choice to take anti-depressants and i know that some day society will see depression for what it truly is, a horrible disease that the majority of its victims have no control over.

My fiance is on antidepressants. It has changed who he is. Without them he wouldn’t be my fiance. Before he was angry and violent. I love him more now than I have in the past 5 years.