Post Secret Archive

Me too. :\

Me too. I only just started to realize that I do. I am so busy pretending I am OK and pretending I am happy for other people…. I try to tell myself that I like myself, but I don’t. I want to change almost everything about me and I am so depressed lately, but I can’t tell anyone because they might decide that I am incapable of taking care of my daughter or think there is more wrong with me than that because there are problems that run in my family. Plus, there are already 2 people who want to make me out to be crazy for their own or the same reasons and I don’t want them to be able to feel like they won and really were able to drive me crazy. I am just really sad and down and hate how my life is going and hate the things about me that either make people leave or make it easy for them to hurt me and take advantage of me – not crazy.

I know. Sometimes I pretend that it’s okay that he goes for days without trying to contact me, without a single word or call or even hello when we pass each other by. When a few days have elapsed, he’ll turn around and say beautiful things to me again, but then I’m left with an empty feeling when I have to wait days to hear from him again, wondering if I’m his dirty little secret or something. and I smile so much when people mention him to me or when he asks me how I am that I’m afraid I’ll break.

And right now I don’t know where the happiness starts and the pain begins…

I can identify with this so much :/
I pretend to be happy, it’s just easier than admitting anything’s wrong..
I hate almost everything about me.
I keep wishing somebody would notice I’m not OK but I know they won’t..

I totally know what you mean. No one really knows how i feel, but sometimes i forget too cause i’m so used to tricking others and myself.

This is me, completely. Sometimes even I don’t know whether my smile is real or fake, because I smile to make other people happy.

I’m in denial as to whether I hate myself or not. I can’t decide.

i feeel this way all the time.

im 15. my friends say they look up to me because i am strong.

I started to hate myself when I made a ton of bad decisions that not only took a toll on myself but also on others around me. I hate that I ran away from what I thought was hurting me when it was really myself. I hate myself because I don’t know how to forgive myself. And I hate myself because I didn’t know who I was or really who I am now. I also hate that I’m awesome at faking.

I felt that way since mother died when I was eight.
But now that I smoke pot everything’s fine.
And it makes me hate myself just a little bit more for not being able to feel better without any help.

I feel that way too. And then I feel guilty because I dont actually have anything to hate about my life, so what am I sad about? I’m afraid to get help because what if everyone thinks I’m being a drama queen and there’s actually nothing wrong with me?

i no exactly wut u mean.. i fake being happy all the time… im to scared to not be happy cuz then ppl wont like me.. and i try to trick myself into thinking that being happy is my true self but as soon as i get home from school im a terrible mean person.. but i dont want ppl to no this cuz i dont want them to think im crazy or need help