March 8, 2009
So that I can stop worrying about when it’s going to happen
Category: New Secrets
Wow.. someone who knows what it’s like..
I’ve felt the same way before about my dad.
My mom already did.
And trust me, it’s not any better wondering what you could have done to change things.
Such a sad secret, yet I know how you feel. My mum made several suicide attempts as I was growing up and I don’t know if she ever found true happiness. But as an adult I replaced that same secret wish to making our times together special. She died last year from cancer (not suicide). We became close friends and I miss her but I’m glad she didn’t die by committing suicide.
my dad committed suicide…
we didn’t get along much and I knew his life was going downhill.
don’t wish for this… I know you’ll miss her so much.
try to stop it. I know you can.
I know how u feel I was there,But trust me u wont feel like that when it happens as angry as u will be u will regret that u said that even tho ur right I hope ur mam gets better,
My mum hung herself 3 years ago. The signs were there like they are for you. I didn’t do anything to stop it. You can. Try everything and then try again, tell people who can help her, make somebody listen and take action. Don’t let her throw it away, there is still a person inside her who can be happy. Don’t give up on her like I did even if she seems like a stranger right now. There is hope for everyone, I learned that the hard way.
My mom used to try all they time, I was so afraid I was just in elementary school and kept thinking she would be gone when I got home. She stopped for me, and sometimes I feel like all I do is make her miserable. She is still so unhappy, and I don’t know what to do. But I’d rather her be unhappy and alive.
My step mother abused me mentally and physically from the time I was 6 until I was 13. Over a period of 2 years she attempted suicide 8 times. I knew my Dad loved her so the 1st couple I prayed she would be ok. Then I started to pray that she wouldn’t… She is still alive and I still have nightmares about her.
I wish the same thing about our mother..she “tries” but its to get attention..I told her to just do it properly next time..she did it the week before our wedding and wanted me to pick her up from the hospital while we were having our wedding rehearsal. That day, all my love left for her.
You don’t make her miserable, she does that herself and would do so if you had never existed.
Tell her you love her, live you own life and get any help you need.
I wish you well for the rest of your life.
My mom attempted suicide several times when I was in elementary and middle school. It was kept a secret from me, I would go spend a weekend or a week at my adult sisters house while my mom and her boyfriend “went on vacation” when in reality my mom was sitting on suicide watch in a mental institition. She, too, oftens says that the only reason she is still here is because of me and my siblings but there are so many times when I get sick and tired of worrying… having to go to her house to make sure she’s alive because she won’t answer the phone for days… watching her struggle to get up and dress for the day… I just want her to be happy. It’s harder to watch someone be miserable than it is to be alone.
I’m sort of in the reverse situation. The only reason I haven’t done it yet is because of my mum. And she knows how much I want it. I guess reading this has made me realize how scared she must be, when in my head, I know for sure that I won’t as long as she’s loving me. I guess I should tell her 🙂
i understand exactly how the person tht sent this in feels and i can feel for the person who posted this comment as well. i went through the same thing. it was and still is painful and sadly, i agree with your last statement… :/
I’m afraid my son will feel this way one day…
I remember my mother tried infront of me and my sister at night. I was 12 yrs old. She o.d on pills right after she wrote her suicide letter. Later me and my sis couldnt find her and searched everywhere. I found her Lying on her bdrm floor, I thought she was dead as she wasn’t responding. Luckly i managed to wake her and helped her to throw it all back up. The next day i went to school faking a smile as noone knew what happened. No child should have to be put thru tht.
Every day when I got back from primary school I’d check the house for my mum’s body. She bearly remembers much of our childhood. She survived and thanks to permenant medication she’s much better now. She adores and is good granny to my daughter. It helps me forgive her. Its crap but don’t give up on your mum.
I completely understand. My mom doesn’t even get out of bed anymore. It is upsetting that you can’t tell any of your friends or even family about what you think will happen and what is going on.
my mom comitted suicide when i was a baby, i never new her but not a single day goes by that i dont miss her and wish she was still around
It’s a horrible feeling, I’m living with it at the moment too. It’s like a constant niggle at the back of your head isn’t it?
But don’t worry about it, if she wants to then she will and if she really wants to then nothing you can do will stop her. Just try to enjoy your time with her, as difficult as that is. I hope you have someone who is supporting you, in my experience hugs make things feel better.
Mine Completed in 2001. I would think the same thing: it’s like a train wreck you cannot stop. It’s been 10 years, and I am grateful it’s over….
I felt this too.. My mom succeeded last year in 2010. Her actually doing it didn’t fix the worry of when it would happen though. It just made me feel worse because I wasn’t there to stop her that time..
Trust me.. It’s not good to wish something like this..
I am the person who posted this secret. It’s been two years and she’s still here. She has continued to go downhill. It’s like she’s not even part of this reality anymore..her delusions have taken over. I just want it to be over so I can grieve the real mother I will never have.
i know what you mean… these people are far from living theyre only existing…wish my mom would go ahead and do herself in. i owuld feel relieved to me she is just a burden.
I’ve been there… my mom tried to kill herself 8 times… the last one was THE one. I feel guilty everyday, because I never thought she would REALLY do it and the only thing I told her was “please, don’t jump, I would feel sorry for the person that will have to clean your mess” (she lived on the 14th floor)… she didn’t jump!! she suffocated herself instead.
Tonight I just told my mom to go commit suicide.. When I was in 5th grade she tried to commit suicide, and had shot her self in the leg. My dad was an asshole to everyone (mom, two brothers, and me) so there was always a lot of fighting between everyone. But anyways I feel pretty terrible for saying that I wish I didn’t. I know that she would, and she won’t go to the doctor for any kind of mood stabilizer.
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