Everytime I cheat on you
Everytime I cheat on you, I make sure the guy looks like you.
Same eye color, same hair color, around the same height. Not because I find those particular characteristics attractive..
Just so that in case I DO get pregnant one of these times you won’t question if its yours or not.
I’m sorry I do this.
More secrets in these topics: cheating , pregnant
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No you’re not.
let us not judge. for the woman who posted this secret, thanks for sharing such a personal situation. In the end I hope you stop cheating. When you do it will be easier to love yourself and move forward with your life so I hope you do what’s best. For yourself, your boyfriend, and for others directly and indirectly involved.
No, let’s judge. Let’s judge someone based on their actions. This obviously isn’t someone who has a simple lack of control. This is someone who *actively* seeks out people to sleep with. There is no way she isn’t accountable for her actions. This person isn’t sorry. If she was, she wouldn’t post her secret on here, she would tell her boyfriend/husband and try her damnedest to fix it rather than being an attention whore. A person like this, someone who has absolutely no respect for her mate or his feelings, deserves to be disciplined for their actions. Her actions are intentional!
I really hope that the husband/boyfriend in this relationship finds out and leaves this person soon, if he hasn’t already.
Am I the only one who understands how DNA works? Just because THEY look like your guy doesn’t mean their parents or grandparents do. In DNA there are dominant and recessive genes. If there’s a guy who’s a carrier for a gene your boy doesn’t have and you get pregnant and youre baby has it, then how will you explain? EX: Your boyfriend has brown eyes and so do his parents. The guy you sleep with has brown eyes, but his mom has blue. Your baby could end up having blue eyes. Explain that.
Do you use protection &/or birth control? if not, than why? if you had a child not knowing who the father was…this child’s medical history, could you live w/that?
When i was growing up my mother always told me that sorry meant ‘i will never do it again’ or at least try tp never do whatever it is again
i don’t believe you are sorry
and what you’re doing is horrible
You should not judge untill you’ve been there.
Oh shut up. Cheaters are asking for it. If you’re cheating because you’re not happy with your s/o, you’re still a douche. Break up with them. Save the “it’s not always easy, you don’t know” crap for your therapist.
I will not argue with you. Attack the argument, not the person.
Why are you douchefags acting so melodramatic?
“I will not attack you…”
“Oh shut up….”
Chill out. A bitch is a bitch, but you don’t have to act like you’re arguing over something imortant.
You’re all gay, get a life
I’m gay.
Get a better insult, you douchebag.
Also, ever heard of a saying “love the sinner, hate the sin.” I understand it has religious connotations for most people, but you can’t judge someone until you’ve been in their position.
Did it ever occur to you that her husband may not treat her well?
Maybe she was abused as a child, and never fully recovered?
Maybe she’s just confused.
Don’t call her names, please.
I am not judging you, just remember if there is a chance to get pregnant, there is a chance to get an STD, that will be harder to explain than a baby with different eye color.
Echoing th other comment, You are not sorry for cheating repeatedly. You are a self absorbed selfish liar. in the end you are sorry. A sorry excuse for a mate and a sorry excuse for person. I am not judging you either, just calling it like it is. Karma is mother fucker. Just remember that.
calling her a sorry excuse for a person would be judging.
Take it from someone who has been cheated on…
You are permanently breaking someone who is being changed and molded forever into someone they, nor their heart, want to be. If they wanted to be something or someone different, they wouldn’t be with you.
You’re not sorry, you’re guilty and it because you know that they deserve better than you…
if you have convinced yourself that you deserve better, you should leave before you kill someone silently. Just because there is no autopsy doesn’t make you any less of a murderer of the heart and soul of who your partner is and it’s breath taking that you can be so mean.
When you love someone, a piece of you always knows and you remember every lie they told when you find out…which they will…they always do. You’re one of the too many people that don’t deserve the ability to keep secrets because you only use the gift to hurt others. I hope you are left alone, in the dust of all of your lies.
I give a strong second to the above statement.
It leaves you broken. But why can’t I leave the one who hurts me like this.
you don’t leave because your afraid to be left alone and think you will not find someone who loves you as much as he/she did.. understand he/she did.. i had to learn i was in love with the person i first met and realized at the end he wasn’t the same person anymore.. people change and move on.. so now you have to..
Again, I agree with babyblue. You’re not good enough for whoever it is, because even if they are the foulest creature on the planet, chances are they’re not cheating. But you are. And that’s criminal.
I don’t think she’s sorry she chooses a guy like him, I think she’s sorry she cheats in the first place.
You shouldn’t go try and make her guilty I’m sure she feels bad enough as it is. Cheating is wrong, but life is complicated, and you don’t always know why you make the mistakes you do. If you did, the world would be completely different.
It’s nice to hear someone who isn’t judging this person. Props to this comment.
‘Judging’ is not the worst thing anyone can do, despite what you seem to think. Repeated cheating is WRONG, and the more people go “ooh, don’t judge people for cheating” the more society will think it’s OK really. And it isn’t: it’s a deliberate choice to do something bad.
Maybe everyone is right. Heck, it’s almost certain. But they can’t understand without having been there.
Sometimes marriage is a mistake. But then divorce is a grave sin, or will lead you to being ostricised among your friends and family. And just knowing how crushing it would be to the other person if you left them after building a life together.
Maybe it’s your mate letting themselves go when you have gone to painstaking measures to keep looking good.
Maybe it’s just soul crushing boredom that makes you stray. Your significant other is stale and is just not the type of person to be willing to change that. Maybe the spark is gone and all that is left is arguing interspersed with mediocrity.
Worse than that is falling in love with another person, but having both of you know you can’t be together. Getting just a little piece of them makes you feel like you can weather the rest of your miserable life. There is excitement, a greater kinship than you thought you could share with a woman (or man, as the case may be). If only you’d have stayed single for a bit longer. But now you’re stuck.
It’s easy to judge without having been there.
i second that motion wholeheartedly
me too! well said! having been in similar situations, its fucking hard and never clear cut. People does this for all sorts of reasons, usually not with the thought of hurting their current partner.
I wish you had stayed single that little while longer. Walking away from you was the hardest thing i have had to do in my whole life, it killed me inside. But i also couldnt do it anymore, i could live with just having that small piece of you, i couldnt take watching you play happy families anymore. Not a day has gone past when i dont think about you and when i dont regret making that decision.
I will miss you for the rest of my life, i just wish we could be together.
Would you rather stay with someone you aren’t in love with anymore rather than break away from them to be with the one you have fallen in love with?
If it would hurt the other person, wouldn’t it hurt them (and your relationship) more if you were to cheat? I can’t imagine there is much trust there after that has happened.
If it is a sin, would God rather you be miserable for the rest of your life just for the sake of not breaking His law? I guess I don’t know…It is against my religion to get a divorce and you are in fact outcasted from the society (at least you are supposed to be) but what’s worse? Cheating or divorcing and ending the pain?
If only you’d stayed single for a while longer…If you could go back would you? Change it so you met her at the gas station instead of your wife? (That was just a random example)
By the way, I am just making all of these points for the sake of argument…not judgment or anything. I doubt I can judge the situation of anyone in this predicament, as I have not experienced it myself.
how about thinking for yourself rather than obeying arcane rules set down in a different era and in a totally different civilisation?
You seem to think your choices are:
1. Stay with someone you don’t love
2. Cheat and stay with someone you don’t love
3. Leave said person and face the wrath of your ‘loved ones’
How about, be your own person, do the right thing and let your unloved partner have a chance at finding real love. If the society you live in then sees you as an outcast, leave and find a better one. Stop people part of the sheeple crowd.
And god invented neither marriage nor divorce. Nor god.
How about taking dating and marriage seriously like they’re supposed to be?
That comment makes it pretty obvious that you are a cheater and are trying to justify it. THere is nothing ok about cheating no matter what excuse you make for yourself. Divorce may be a sin to you, but so is adultery. Stop being so selfish and think about what you are doing to the other person. They don’t deserve this and you don’t deserve them.
You have no idea what is going on there. I have no idea what’s going on there. Just because you have been cheated on does not mean he is in the same position. Again, I am not condoning cheating; I’m just trying to be open…
i realize your not condoning cheating but at the same time there is no way in hell she can beb sorry for something she CONTINUES to do. you cannot say your sorry and go and do the same thing over again. there is NO circumstance where cheating is okay. if you want to be with someone else then go do it. i dont need to know the specific circumstances of this relationship because either way its wrong. her saying shes sorry for doing this is actualy kind of irratating. apoligizing to this person isnt going to make them feel better after they hear that you have screwed them over again and again and again.
That is all true, but has nothing to do with this particular card. She is not in love with anyone. She is cheating with several men and is deliberately choosing ones that look like her hubby so she can continue to do it.
I’m sorry, but I’m really disgusted with this. Cheating is a horrible breach of trust. And that it’s premeditated, with her choosing someone who looks like him in case she gets pregnant is even worse.
I’m pouring my own bias into this, being the product of a broken home because of infidelity. It destroyed my mother…so I see the after effect of cheating. So…I am judging. I think this women is a pig.
Girl, I’m not the person to judge. Because, c’mon… who am I to judge someone else for their faults? But I will tell you this.
Do the right thing and break up with him. He deserves better.
So I guess she’s the only person in the world who has ever cheated on someone before? None of the above commentators have ever done that? Right.
This has to do with the question of whether it’s wrong exactly how?
And for the record: no, never cheated, never will.
It doesn’t. It was more a point about overreacting and slandering pixels on a screen.
Internet = instant self-righteousness!
I think you are entitled to your own opinion, but you need to consider the fact that not everyone is “overreacting and slandering.” I was cheated on and it was the most painful thing that has ever happened to me. Seeing posts like this (the postsecret, not your comment) is like a slap in the face.
You are an evil bitch.
You need to keep your legs closed ho.
I will NEVER cheat. I hate people like you. There is no excuse. You are not sorry.
I’m sure you’re perfect. Never done anything wrong, right? You don’t know what the whole story is. Maybe you should keep your comments to yourself. There is no need for this.
Amen
are you actually suggesting no one can ever say that something someone is doing is wrong, because (by definition) no one is without fault? That’s some seriously warped logic and, obviously, you won’t judge me if I murder your parents?
The whole point of postsecret is so you can anonymously find out what people think of your secret. Well, now she knows.
I would be just like you (wrong) if I came on here to write such crude things. If you are a woman you know it is disrespectful to call her a ho and what if the secret is from your mother is that how you would comment on things to her?
She obviously is sorry for something if she goes out of her way to make sure he doesn’t find out, she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, and her way of making up for it is not to tell.
Everyone’s not perfect we all have done things to another in hopes they never find out, sometimes they do and it hurts them and you, sometimes they don’t and it only hurts you.
NO NO NO. She goes out of her way to make sure she doesn’t get caught. That is NOT the same as saying she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. She doesn’t want to feel the weight of what she has done to him when he looks in her eyes and sees her for what she really is.
Never say never.
I mean this is the best way possible. I’m not a cheater, but i know that its easy and it does happen. Maybe you are just guilty and not really sorry, but wouldn’t it be easier just to leave? and i agree with Shiloh, you could get more than just a baby. Be careful. And to say it again, he should know, even if your too scared to own up (which is alright), leave him. It’ll be better in the long run.
I don’t think you’re sorry. I think you’re a coward. You’re too afraid to leave the relationship you’re in so you act out (by cheating)…hoping to create a situation where he’ll leave you. Otherwise you wouldn’t do it so often. He deserves a woman who will honor the trust he places in her, and cherish the gift he is to her.
I think you should stop.
I also think theres more to it than you can write on a postcard, so these people shouldn’t give you a hard time about it. It’s not our place to judge.
I can’t say that it hasn’t crossed my mind before either.
The fact that you do what you do is your business. BUT, the nerve to put god into the picture really irritates me. It’s almost as if you’re trying to justify the weight of your sin (cheating) with the blessing of having children. I would feel bad for any offspring that came forth from your cheating ways.
Not everyone believes in God. Animals have babies too. Sometimes, it’s just nature, and biology.
No kidding, BUT, this person DOES believe in God because she choose to have the picture say it. She does believe in god, and I was speaking to her, not you.
Well. I dont think its right to tell this person that she isnt sorry. Who are you to tell her how she feels. I agree, its not right, and its a horrible horrible thing to do, but in no way do any of us have the right to tell her how she feels.
I’ve been cheated on, i believe that the person who cheated on me was sorry, but only for one reason. Because she cheated on me while i was in iraq. I could only tell her that i didnt believe that she was sorry for any other reason.
Dont tell this person how she feels because she has already told us.
Thank you for saying this. I was becoming really disgusted with comments that refused to really think about the whole picture.
It’s okay
Stop with all the negative/hate comments! You have no idea who this person is, what they’ve been through, how their life has evolved, what they feel or what is going through their mind right now. Who are you to judge?
It’s not worth it.
I don’t believe that the writer of this card was being honest. Why would you choose to cheat with someone who resembles someone that you’re not attracted to in the first place? I really hope that her partner finds out. It’s bad enough to cheat but to put herself in a position where she might become pregnant is to put herself in a position where she might contract (and give her partner) HIV. She really should get help.
It’s called abortion.
I agree with Charlie. Postsecret is NOT about judging, hating, and attacking others. It is a SAFE place for those to take the weight off their shoulders by posting a secret that has been eating away at them. I do not particularly agree with this person’s behavior, because I do not condone cheating. However, this is not about what I feel or think. Postsecret was meant to be a sanctuary. To all of those who said hateful things…shame on you for threatening the beauty of Frank’s project.
thank you for saying the right thing. this is a place to unravel not coil up in fear. places like this are the first step in self healing so we really shouldn’t attack her.
Sometimes we are with people we think we will love and be with for the rest of our lives…but forever is a long time and people jump into marriage too quickly. I think that people cheat for many different reasons and the reason isnt always malicious. Sometimes people arent ready to settle down and so they stray, from marriage or just a relationship. While you are cheating, you know its wrong but you do it anyway, even if you do really care about the other person. Ive cheated, and yes i have felt horrible about it, and I have come clean to the other person and talked it out. Its not always the person who cheats at fault. Maybe like you said the spark is gone, theyve grown distant, or let themselves go. Maybe there is no connection left emotionally…and people are always looking for that connection with someone else, thats what makes you stay after the physical attraction is gone. There are people we meet in our lives and we will always wonder, “what if I had been with them instead?” Its just a personal choice, if or how, you are ever going to find that out. Post secret is not to judge others, and I hope whoever sent this secret in feels better about getting it off their chest because I know how much it can eat you up inside.
*im sorry we cant be together, maybe in the next life…*
No, I wont wait. Its now or never, I wont wait a whole lifetime thinking what if and I wont wait till the next lifetime. If we cant be together now then we can never be together.
Dont mistake whats easy for whats right….Find me Please
I once was in love with a woman, a woman who I was going to marry. You say it hurts to cheat, yet hearing the confessions of infidelity come from the one you love is a wound that will never fully heal. You can try to justify it by telling people they’ve never been in the situation so they won’t understand, or you can justify it by saying that you feel trapped. Yet all that will do is help you sleep better at night because you refuse to accept that you are hurting this person. You refuse to because sometimes the truth hurts, and the hardest person for anyone to judge is themselves. So don’t demonize the term judging in order to try and justify your motives. You are hurting this man and there is nothing wrong if your not in love and you want to break relations with this person. But letting him live this lie while all the while oblivious to your true nature, well… The day we can justify this will be the day when morality only applies to ourselves and nobody else. No, I do not judge you, nor do I think you are a bad person. However, maybe people shouldn’t try to justify your actions or tell your a terrible person. Your own conscious will tell you that, and living your life in a self imposed hell is worse than anyone here could ever say to you. Break it off with this man, and BE the good person you see yourself as. Good luck.
None of you are God. And thus, none of you have the right to judge.
But you believe you have the right to say we don’t have the right to judge? What if I don’t believe in God? Who has the right to judge then? Are you saying no one should be judged for their actions? Anarchy? No rule of law?
You spout meaningless rubbish because you think it is helpful and makes everybody friends. Life isn’t that simple.
And you, my dear are a bitter hag. I don’t care if you believe in God or not. Really. I struggle with my religious views every day. I know what it is to not believe in God. I do again now but I haven’t always. Do you REALLY think you have the right to judge everyone you see? If you do I don’t care but I’m certain you would not appreciate it if everyone that saw you made some rash judgment. I do not think what she is doing is right, nor do I believe she should continue doing it. But really I’m 100% positive I could come up with a situation that would make this look like a “saint’s” work (even if saints are nonsensical and ridiculous) and I could also come up with a situation to make it look 10 times worse. There are a billion things she could do that are waaaaay worse! I don’t care if you judge people whatever. Do what you do, BUT I’m just saying there are two sides to every picture and you are only getting one view.
I say what I want to because I can. If you don’t like it don’t respond! You live on inviting conflict. You have a perpetual chip on your shoulder because you must not have anything better to do. If you think I “spout meaningless rubbish” why do you even read what I say? I couldn’t care less if you like what I say or if it’s helpful. It’s what I want to say and I can even if you don’t like it.
of course you can say what you want – that’s kinda my point! But you can’t say ‘you don’t have the right to judge’. Surely, using your own logic, I also have the right to say what I want, and what I want to say is that this person is demonstrating some pretty nasty behaviour.
My post above was basically saying that people use the abstract concept of god to say that people don’t have the right to judge. This makes no logical, rational sense as people judge everything, all of the time: it IS human nature. Even the person who make the secret was judging their own behaviour (sufficiently so that they felt the need to write a postcard about it and publish it to the world). How can someone comment at all without making some kind of judgement? I would argue by creating the postcard, the writer invited judgement, be it a judgement that they should be forgiven, demonised, lauded, hated, etc etc.
I appreciate I was a bit harsh (the god thing really bothers me – there is as much evidence for god as there is for fairies and goblins living at the bottom of my garden).
I don’t have a chip on my shoulder, I just enjoy a good debate!
oh, and hag implies female. And you obviously do care what I say or you wouldn’t have felt compelled to reply
Yeah, I should not have called you a hag, I am sorry for that…I enjoy a good debate too
(otherwise I would soooo not be following what you say lol)
I believe in God now, that does not mean you have to…there may be as much evidence that he exists as there is for the existence of faeries and goblins in your garden…BUT there is also no evidence that there are NOT faeries and goblins in your garden, just like there is not evidence that God does not exist
Do you believe in the all powerful spaghetti monster that flies around the world at a billion miles an hour, controlling each and every action taken by every living creature? because there’s no evidence of him either.
You cannot prove a negative. There are lots and lots of things that we can’t prove don’t exist, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t so unlikely that we can be pretty sure they don’t exist.
Your suggestion seems to be that it’s ok to believe anything that has not been 100% disproved, which is pretty odd when you think about it. **I believe I can fly** – can you prove that I can’t?
maybe I can fly…I just have not figured out how yet! lol
I won’t judge YOU, but your ACTIONS are wrong. And frankly, yes, I do feel like I have the right to make that judgment. If you are a good person, your own actions must make you feel pretty shitty. You DO have the power to control your own actions, so I suggest you use it, instead of wallowing in self-pity. In the long run, you’ll be a lot happier.
To all the comments saying you don’t know her situation, blah blah blah, come on, get a grip. Are you really saying that there aren’t times when someone has done something that is just plain wrong? What if she’d said she likes to go out and murder babies in their beds? Would you come out with ‘you don’t know her situation’ then?
Cheating IS unforgivable. It is the ultimate betrayal. Even murdering your spouse at least shows you have strong feelings for them (even if it’s hate). Cheating shows a complete lack of regard for them. It means you just don’t give a shit.
Grow a pair and leave, or make the decision to actually commit. There are no half measures, Judas.
You have been cheated on OR you have a guilty conscience because you have cheated.
Neither, I’m just blessed with some common decency. But I’ve seen perfectly nice people destroyed by it.
And I’ve seen horrible people holding on to something they neither deserve or actually want. I’ve been on both sides of the fence: the single one that was with someone elses boyfriend (even if only for a short while) and the one that has been cheated on. SO I do indeed know what it is like.
Sooo, you accuse me of either having been cheated on, or cheating on someone else, both of which I refute and your response is that you’ve done both?????
Something of an own goal, methinks.
You logic seems to be: “unless you have been a jerk, or someone has been a jerk to you, you can’t possibly understand. I have been a jerk and been jerked around, so I am well qualified to comment!”
I’ve never murdered anyone, nor been murdered myself. Does that mean I can’t judge a murderer, because I have no personal experience? At least that would make jury duty more interesting…..
Since I’ve NEVER ever had a boyfriend I should probably rephrase what I said… I’ve never dated anyone. I’ve gone after a man in a relationship…then I quit because i realized that they were dumber than a box of rocks…THAT is a story for another time though…
)
Maybe I am totally bias about the subject at hand (the morality of cheating) because my mother is in a relationship (that I neither approve of nor disapprove of) with a married man.
My sister had been cheated on before and I’m sure she has cheated but they are my FAMILY so I love them anyway! I have a warped perception of the world I guess; while struggling to understand what is right in the world I am slacked in things that I should know the basic moral conduct about (if that makes any sense)
I will never get married. I will never date anyone. I will never have to face this problem personally again. My best friend told me that I was hardly a sinner for being in puppy love for a few weeks with a taken man, but I feel bad about it lol. Mind you I can change my mind (about the marriage or whatever), but I don’t think that I will anytime soon…this is such a random slue of stuff I should pry not have said but I will anyway because I can! lol (and YES I am having fun posting on this
Ok, I get the context now. You must be pretty young to still think that you’ll never do any of the above. You most certainly will, it’s just a matter of time.
As for your Mum, she WILL come unstuck, one way or another. Just so long as you’re prepared for the fallout.
And I would add that she’s setting a pretty terrible example to you. You don’t have a warped perception, family is family, whatever they do. But that doesn’t excuse bad behaviour.
I guess it annoys me so much because it’s so obvious that it can never have a happy ending. Maybe your Mum’s lover will leave his wife (poor wife), but will it be for your Mum? Perhaps, but then how can she ever know he isn’t doing the same thing to her? the one thing he has demonstrated is he cannot be trusted.
I feel for you, but it seems like you’re getting a good education in how not to handle your love life!
I don’t want a love life lol I’m too young to want anything to do with that…I’m a senor in High School and I still don’t see the point of dating. I guess I’m just an odd person lol….
I do not know WHY I don’t want any of that…It’s weird because sometimes I daydream (usually in Government lol) about being a princess in a castle lol
I don’t think he will ever leave his wife for mom. Nobody is going to be happy and at least one part of the 3 will be bitter for life about it, I’m guessing the wife (I only say that because I know them and that’s the kind of personality she has)
It’s one of those situations where two people just happen to fall in love and one or both are already taken. No one is going to end up happy and that sucks.
I suppose I am overly understanding of things like this and I shouldn’t be, it’s just because I would not know what to do. I’d much rather not have to worry about it ever…
You say the wife has the kind of personality that will mean she ends up bitter for life about it. I have to say, that personality is around a lot, because most people would be pretty bitter if they realised their partner had been cheating on them and actually fallen in love with someone else.
However, that isn’t the case, because if he had fallen in love with your Mum, he’d leave his wife. But he won’t because he’s a liar (to both his wife and your Mum).
Don’t worry about yourself though, you just don’t know what will happen. You may very well meet the love of your life and stay blissfully happy together until one of you croaks. It happens more than you’d think.
I’m sure I’d be bitter too lol, but she is bitter about everything. If she lived in a castle she would want a hut and vice versa. lol Maybe I will fall in love some day, who knows right? But that does not mean I have to get married lol (that’s a horrible thing to say!! lol) My family has a history of being in horrible abusive relationships…so that just does not sound appealing to meh…You know what I have realized (completely off subject) but I have noticed that I talk about this kind of thing way more openly on the internet lol I just have to PRETEND that no one I know is reading it. Lol
I agree with Evershrike. Your comment is way to dramatic to not have a story behind it.
And cheating is not unforgivable. It may be surprising in a society that is so trigger happy about divorce, but couples get through problems of infidelity all the time.
See above (never cheated, never been cheated on). But ‘get through problems of infidelity’ is pretty lame. People ‘get through’ problems of all kinds. Doesn’t mean the people responsible for those problems shouldn’t feel guilt and STOP DOING THEM. The point with this secret is she is saying she actually goes out of her way to make sure she doesn’t get caught, so she can continue. That’s one sick, thoughtless puppy.
Thanks. And Nord I’m not saying I condone cheating or anything, but It is not unforgivable…God is a forgiving God not a vengeful one.
Or god simply doesn’t exist. Nada, zip, nil. We are alone and wholly responsible for our actions. No excuses laid at the feet of god.
Even if you do believe in the fairy tales, for the first two thirds of the Bible, god is a blood thirst vengeful maniac. Only in the New testament is he supposed in any way caring.
How you just spout ‘god is caring’ makes me (almost) speechless. On what do you base this? Your own personal delusions?
The only difference between a delusion and a religion are the number of people who believe it.
Makes me a sad panda
QED
?
Look it up
quod erat demonstrandum. got it. and true.
This, I feel, is what may undermine PostSecret in the long run: People think if they post their secret up, however horrific it may be, some people will say ‘ahh, it’s ok, God loves you, so you don’t need to feel bad about being a complete jerk to humanity’.
Well, you do need to feel bad because not only are you doing something terrible, you KNOW it’s terrible and you continue to do it.
Before forgiveness comes regret/acknowledgement/desire to change. There is none of that in this secret.
THAT is the “God Band-aid” and is infact wrong. I have to agree with you.
Actually, I’m surprised at my own reaction here: this has got me really mad.
Maybe I’m reading the secret wrong, but to me she is saying:
1. I repeatedly cheat on my partner.
2. I will continue to do so
3. I am devious enough to think it through such that if I do get pregnant the baby will look enough like my partner that I can palm it off as his child and so will never have to tell him he is not the father.
I don’t get how you can defend any of that behaviour and tell people not to judge. What if it was your brother or son who she was doing this to? She is literally playing with his sanity and faith in humanity.
Some people do need to be hauled over the coals and told, no, you cannot do this. It is wrong and mean and you must grow up, get some courage and either leave you partner if you don’t want to commit only to him, or damn well commit, or ask him if he thinks it’s ok for you to keep sleeping around. I think we all know what the answer to that would be.
Personally I think she should throw herself at his feet and literally beg his forgiveness, and not expect to get it. If he really loves her and if he is 10 times the human being she is, then perhaps, just perhaps, he will be able to forgive her.
If his “faith in humanity” was wrecked because someone did him wrong, it’s a wonder he got out of *high school* with his “faith” intact.
there’s doing someone wrong, then there’s repeatedly ripping his heart out, over what could be many years and….You know what, I’ve just realised your comment doesn’t even dignify a response, Anon.
I have cheated once, making out with a friend when I was wasted. I have never felt worst in my life. I understand what made me do that – I wasn´t fulfilled in my relationship – but still, I felt horrible and can´t forgive myself to this day.
My aunt also got pregnant from a married man – they dated before he got married, but they broke up and, months later, he was married to a pregnant woman. My aunt has never dated anyone since, and stopped seeing him once my cousin was born. I´m sure she still loves him, even though he´s a coward bastard that wouldn´t even recognize my cousin, and that´s why she never had anybody else in her life.
You realize you made a mistake, you feel bad about it and you try to change and make it right. I´m sure I would never break somebody´s heart again like I did.
Now, when you deliberately cheat on someone, even as choosing a guy that will look like him in case you get pregnant so you won´t get caught, whoa, that is beyond me. I could never live with myself. I actually feel sorry for this woman, ´cause either she´s eating herself from the inside with guilt, or she´s just plain cold and heartless. In either case, she has a choice. To leave him and not do any more damage. ´Cause while she´s looking for something to dimish the pain of being with him, he´s being kept from finding his true happiness too.
You hit the nail squarely on the head.
I will just put up a condensed verion of my thoughts here:
Cheating is wrong.
Having cheated doesn’t necessarily make you the devil incarnate.
Those of you that have said cheating is wrong- yup.
Those of you name calling the people who have cheated- grow up.
Do you really not get the difference between having cheated and what this woman is doing?
You, Nord, assume that everyone here is less intelligent than you are.
am I really the one making assumptions?
There is a difference between raw intelligence and the ability to put a rational, thought-through argument together.
The fact that you have personally attacked me (rather than my argument) three times now, suggests that you can’t actually articulate your argument, or you don’t have the courage of your convictions. Or, as you suggest, I am indeed more intelligent. Twas not me that made that assertion though.
I’m beginning to think I’m the only one having fun here
And you strike me as the debate-club-veteran type who goes around pointing out “logical fallacies” on the internet and arguing for the sake of argument. I think I am done addressing you. You know what they say about arguing on the internet.
All I was saying is that it says a lot when you start throwing personal attacks around instead your point of view.
As you have just demonstrated.
And yes, I know what they say about arguing on the internet, but I thought the whole point here was to hear what people had to say on a particular topic. I got flamed for stating my opinion, endeavoured to back it up and got thrown a load of personal attacks!
It’s debatable (excuse the irony) whether I was actually arguing for the sake of arguing: I simply had a difference of opinion on the actual topic of discussion. If you think I’m wrong, then tell me why, but don’t just flame me personally because you don’t like my opinion.
Looking back, I did attack Evershrike personally in one of my posts (you spout meaningless rubbish…..), which was wrong of me and I apologise for that. Emotion overtook me in that instance.
And when I say I’m sorry, I mean I will try my best not to do it again (just to get us back on topic!!!!).
I never said that you were not smart. I simply get the impression that you think you are superior to other people. I could be dead wrong about that, I know; but that is the impression I get from you.
Oh, and am sorry for attacking you personaly too…it’s ok that you attacked me, I deserved it!
What IS IT that they say about arguing on the internet? I really don’t know :# sorry
In a nutshell it’s pretty pointless.
Thought, given the way this thread has gone, you may find this amusing:
http://www.xkcd.com/481/
It is pointless…but when you have insomnia you have to find SOMETHING to do lol
Please stop this if you haven’t done so already! Set him free, set yourself free! if youre truly sorry you won’t keep doing it
Cheating is definitely not a good thing to do.You probably should get advice from someone who knows your situation a little better like a friend of even a therapist, because no one who is commenting knows your situation.
…I do think that its pretty smart though to cheat on someone who looks like your husband.
Just out of interest, given that ‘no one who is commenting knows your situation’, can anyone think of a situation where this kind of behaviour is not heinous?
yeah she could be cheating on him with his brother
that’s your idea of not heinous? Wow, I’d hate to know what you’d think is pushing it…
My feelings about cheating/cheaters are warped and change on a regular basis.
Why don’t you stop being selfish and leave him. You don’t deserve him and you should be with someone who you love. He is to good for you. If you worry about getting pregnant you are probably not using protection which is both stupid and selfish. You are putting him at risk because you sleep around.
Ok like that is the most shallow thing i have ever heard if you don’t want to have sex with that guy anymore than just stop because he is going to find out and it’s going to make you look like a complete slut i am very sorry i said that but it is the truth!
You’re a dirty, cheating whore. But Karma will run its course… You will have a bastard child that looks just like your poor husband– and it will be horribly mentally and physically handicapped, since genes run deeper than hair and eye color you uneducated cunt. And you will deserve it.
people like you make me want to leave this world… sick fucks like you. that shit is sick demented and wrong…. why would anyone do such a thing? this is why this country is so fucked up because of people like you..
RAWR!!! Yeah, it’s fucking ridiculous fucking dumb shit fuck!!! (Cussing makes you sound dumb. I sounded really dumb right then… It is unnecessary and you can get your point across without it
)
It does indeed make you sound dumb; but was that really needed?
Yes. yes it was.
Slut
burn. in. hell.
agreed.
It’s easy to say you’re sorry.
It’s not as easy to mean it.
If you say you’re sorry for doing something, and then continue to do it… you weren’t really sorry in the first place.
good idea!
from one shady bitch to another.
wow
Unfortunately, genetics aren’t quite that straightforward…..you could still get fucked. (No pun intended.)
*As a side note: I’m not really all that religious. But this point still applies: “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”*
So go look in a mirror. If you’ve been making caustic remarks to whoever posted this, consider the fact that you’ve probably shown just as much disregard for moral conduct as anyone. You just don’t have the guts to own up to it.
Get over it and get a life.
I have no sympathy for you.
How could I? Honestly, how could anyone who has been in that situation?
My ex cheated on me for 3 years, and he’s the reason it’s taken me over a year to even begin to trust my boyfriend of 2 years.
I have sympathy for your boyfriend, but none for you.
Believe me, it’s a bitch when you realise that the guy you wanted to marry is the reason you had to go get tested for STDs!
If you need proof of a person who really ought to look at my comment, then see above. Sorry, Kate, hun, but I doubt you are a saint.
if you want to have sex with a lot of people don’t get into a relationship…
I understand.
The way I grew up–I need to be constantly reminded that I’m appealing, attractive, and infinitely lovable.
I know you probably hate yourself for this, and–trust me–becoming a better person is hard, because you will feel tainted and dirty around people who have never been there, but ultimately it will make you happier.
I hope you realize this.
HAHAH that is fucking hilarious
that is fucking hilarious!
If you’re sorry, THEN STOP DOING IT! Jeez. It’s that simple.
Do you not understand anything at all about genetics? I suggest you do some reading. The gene for blue eye color is recessive, which means that you need 2 genes for blue eyes to actually have blue eyes. On the other hand, the gene for brown eyes is dominant, so you only need one gene for brown eyes to have brown eyes. Therefore, if someone has one gene for blue eyes and one gene for brown eyes (we usually have two genes for most things like eye color, hair color, or height, getting one from each parent), the baby will have brown eyes. But even if two parents have brown eyes, they could both have one gene for blue eyes. If they each pass this gene to their baby, then the baby will have two genes for blue eyes and will actually have blue eyes.
Oh and btw, OUR son has blue eyes and we both have hazel. I didn’t cheat on him.
What makes you any better than her?
You’ve never made any mistakes before?
&+Before you point fingers; make sure your hands are clean.
I really like your secret. I think admitting it to others is the first step in admitting it to your boyfriend. I love your secret a lot and I respect you for sending it in,
Ya, that is bs and no you aren’t sorry. If you want some kind of understanding from me you at least need to be truthful, which you are most certainly not being here.
it’s one thing to cheat and to be dishonest to someone who cares about you, but to have this plan on keeping a secret and force a child to live a lie unknowingly is just wrong.
i know! Every child deserves to know what family they came from & their true medical history. i wonder if this woman uses birth control? she should!
so um why do you want to hurt this man so badly does he beat your face in once a week and this is just a tactic to make him want to kill himself
well, I am do not agree your actions, for me cheating it´s as bad as killing, but that´s for me, I won´t judge you because postsecret is supposed to be a open blog to share things that almost anyone could know, that are in the deepest part of our hearts and we can´t be mad at that, but, personally I hope you find the forgiveness of your husband and the trust to tell him about everything.
I’ve been cheated on, I’ve been the other girl, and I’ve cheated. I respect this person post. You have no right to judge someone until you’ve walked in their shoes. Just because someone has cheated doesn’t make them a bad person. People make mistakes and sometimes it takes a LONG time for them to change their ways. You shouldn’t judge someone from the secret they’re posting. Comments really shouldn’t be allowed on here just for the fact that people bring their own opinions and bias into it. You comment about how she’s not sorry but do you really know her? Have you sat down and seriously talked with her? Do you know every little detail about her fucking life? Obviously not! So leave her alone and respect her secret. Wouldn’t you want the same in return? If you’ve got enough balls to sit here and judge everyone else. Post something about yourself and then read what people write and see how you feel…
I am a cheater. I am 19 yrs old, he is my first boyfriend we have been together 2.5 years now. I am not proud in the slighest of my actions. i always look for reasons why i have cheated, because i want to experience things, i’m not really in love… but im here to admit that i am SELFISH. In highschool i was never the pretty girl, but i have grown up and now guys are talking to me, taking interest… so i go with the flow. I hate myself. I think about it everyday. My boyfirend would never in a MILLION years do this to me. I’ve told him about once incident and he stayed with me. I wish he wouldn’t so i could get out of this mess and start all over.
DEEEEEERRRRRRRP
Implying genetics works that way.
I hope your baby is type O when the father is AB
if youre on here you have secrets of your own that, at least i know for me, you probably dont want people judging you for. she will get what she deserves, but honestly, shes just as miserable as the rest of us and deserves pity, though not necessarily for her actions. if she does get pregnant by either her bf or by the men shes cheating on him with, she will have to wonder every time she looks at her child, which is karma enough for a lifetime. some people cant overcome their demons.