13 thoughts on “It’s been three years now, ‘dad’”

  1. he left me when I was two
    came back when I turned six
    had two more kids when I was eight
    offered me sex and cigarettes when I was twelve
    left when I was thirteen
    admitted into an insane asylum when I was fourteen
    7,000 dollars of child support debt later
    now I’m fifteen and the son of a bitch finally killed himself
    and I’m happy he did it

  2. I am so sorry to hear of your pain, it must have been awful what you had to endure. I cannot even imagine what you must have went through.

    I hope that you may find some peace. Please be good to yourself and know that there is beauty out there in your life, just waiting to be found.

  3. He walked out of my life after years of physical and emotional abuse. I still love him. It took me two years to realize that I’m better off without him.

  4. I know my dad can never love me because he doesn’t love himself.

    I know it’s not my fault, but I work tirelessly to make him love me. It hurts every day.

  5. he left me when i was 7. i haven’t seen him since. i’m 20 now.. and i secretly think his leaving has affected every single relationship i’ve ever been in.

  6. he’s insane. he’s abusive, he’s controlling, he’s a LIAR (& gets away with it every damn time), he’s a lawyer, he’s been trying to take my brothers and sister away from my mom for 5 years now. i’m 18 now but i can’t even see my siblings because i’m so afraid of him and don’t want to go back. i’m a horrible sister, but they need to find the strength i did and stand up to him.
    i haven’t told him i loved him for 5 years now but no matter what names he calls me or how hard he hits, i want so badly to run up to him and hug him and do the things we used to when i was little.

  7. dlash, Hang in there! You’re not a bad sister – you barely sound strong enough to stand up for yourself right now. As you gain strength you can find a way to help your siblings avoid the trauma you’re going through. Please call someone if they are being physically abused. You can do it anonymously. Your thoughts of wanting to go back to the happy times when you were little are so normal. We all have an inate desire to seek love and attention from our parents, and for many that feeling remains long after becoming an adult. I’m sure it is even harder when the parent/child relationship becomes so damaged. Please find someone trustworthy that you can talk to about this because in some situations like yours it is easy for people to begin seeking relationships with people who end up perpetuating the abuse. Take care.

  8. I too question if my dad should even deserve to be called ‘dad’… He left when I was 7 for a year or two, then my mom *found* him, then he stuck around for a bit, where I was very happy to spend time with him so much. But, he left for his job, saying he would keep contact with me, he even had my e-mail address (the same one I still have now), but, I never heard from him again.

    Now I ask myself why do I want to see him again, and why I miss him, since he never bothered saying anything to me in the 6 years he’s been gone. I don’t know what to think about him anymore.

  9. My Dad went insane when I was 11, became a drug addict and stopped calling. Until I was 13, he tried rehab a few times and always relapsed. He’s been in and out of prison, more times than I can count. He owes my Mom over 50,000 dollars in child support between my older sister, younger brother and I. In November he went to a gun shop, to buy a gun so he could shoot himself in the head, they wouldn’t sell him one, he was admitted into an asylum.
    Sometimes I wish he would of, it might be easier knowing he’s dead and thats why he doesn’t call or come around rather than just knowing he doesn’t want too. But if he did, I’d have to much guilt to bear.

    I’m glad we can relate.

  10. My Dad went insane when I was 11, became a drug addict and stopped calling. Until I was 13, he tried rehab a few times and always relapsed. He’s been in and out of prison, more times than I can count. He owes my Mom over 50,000 dollars in child support between my older sister, younger brother and I. In November he went to a gun shop, to buy a gun so he could shoot himself in the head, they wouldn’t sell him one, he was admitted into an asylum.
    Sometimes I wish he would of, it might be easier knowing he’s dead and thats why he doesn’t call or come around rather than just knowing he doesn’t want too. But if he did, I’d have to much guilt to bear.

    I’m glad we can relate, in different ways.

  11. Two years ago my dad began his midlife crisis. he stopped saying he loved me, or telling me i was beautiful on a regular basis. I’m convinced he hates my family and me… I just want him to leave. i’ll never believe him againwhen he says anything nice….

  12. He Died a year ago today…
    But he abandond me long be fore that. I cry every night because i miss him

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