February 1, 2009
Her uncle raped her….
so did her brother…
She wants my advice…
but the worst thing anyone in my family has made me do is take out the trash… and I wish I could relate with her…
Category: New Secrets
Tags: advice, rape
There are numbers and help lines she could phone for advice
My father and my brother both molested me for years, and I believe I was raped though I don’t have a clear memory of it.
I’ve been to therapy, and the people that are important to me all know what happened, but the one thing that made the biggest difference for me was telling the cops. I told two detectives my whole story, and then immediately broke down into hysterical sobs. It finally felt like I had actually told, it was no longer a “secret”, just a horrible part of my past.
When all was said and done the police couldn’t do anything. Most of what they did to me didn’t technically break any laws, and I could tell from the detectives voice that they felt horrible they couldn’t help me. It didn’t even matter though, I was sure before I told them that nothing would be done, but the act of telling the police made all the difference for me.
My brother molested me for years. The thing that finally set me free was telling my parents and friends about the abuse. (I did this 12 years after the fact). My parents were devastated, but I finally felt free of the shame that had followed me around for years. Good luck to her!!!
just be her friend….listen to her….and tell her not to let anyone guilt her into speaking to them or seeing them ecer again.
trust me, you don’t want to be able to relate to her. Just listen to her and find all the places that provide support for sex crimes victims in your area. Doing the research for her will help a great deal.
her uncle raped her for years…this january she got pregnant from him or one of his friends…
i knew something would happen if i let her go but i didnt stop her….
she lost the baby then didnt tell me until months after cos she was scared of my reaction….
she hasnt and wont tell any of her family….and now her right ovary has failed and the left is nearly gone…it would have been a miracle baby….i dont no what do do for her…
my life hasnt been roses either but still….we both want 2 die and but we promised each other…i think she might be close to breakin that promise tho…..i know i am
pray for her
Yeah, somehow prayer seems a teeny-tiny bit inadequate, not to mention short-sighted and lazy.
How about help lines or the police?
You really don’t want to relate to her..I went through what she did..something similar. I felt so much better once I started telling my closest friends, All I needed was someone to listen to me.
i know exactly how you feel. everyone around me has been so strong, made it through so much. it makes me think about how weak i am in comparison…
Just be there for her. Let her know that you love her. Make her feel safe. Help her heal.
My sisters and I were all abused, at different ages, by different men, even in different countries.
My older sister was abused on her way school. She was 13.
I was abused on an Air Force base in England. I was 5.
My little sister was abused by a close family friend. She was 7.
The cops in all three cases couldn’t help us.
Is it wrong that I hate the police?
I don’t know you but I love you. I am here if you want to talk- it will be okay. I hope you are still here.
I dont know if you will ever read this, but please dont resort to that or let her do that either. I never usually reply I am more of an observer. But just trust me when I say that it gets better only if you stick together. Its true, the police and other will have little or no advice or help for you two, but; you both have each other. Please please know I have you and her in my prayers.
NO, you don’t.
Not to be harsh, but be happy that that’s the worst you had to do. Some people would kill to trade their experiences for that life.
I keep having bits of dreams I think are memories. I think it started younger then I thought. I know I have done things with others that shouldn’t have happened, just as I know she blames me even though she started it in my sleep. I wish it would all just go away..but it never will….
whats so bad about rape its the way the whole world would tend to stand and laugh,instead of offer support.My advice is learn to like it!
I was raped and molested for 10 years by my uncle. It took me so long to tell anyone because I was so ashmed. When I finally told a friend they contacted my parents and then the police were contacted. It went to trial and my uncle got off free! It has taken many years of therapy, but the best therapy was talking to my best friend. It had never happened to her but she was always there for me not matter what time of day. It is still an everyday battle but I’m happy in my life now. Just be there for her and help her get the help she needs.
Like everyone else said. She does not want you to tell her what to do. She is reaching out for help. All you can do is talk to her and be there for her. If she has not told anyone and you believe she is in danger you have to tell someone. I know it is hard but in the end you will save her
Order her on Amazon.com the book ” the courage to heal workbook ” its helped me way more than any person could. And very cheap, like under $10 with shipping. It will give her a private outlet she can share if she chooses and will help her.see things like never before. As a survivor, best thing I did for myself.
Everyone can tell you their advice but from experience, she needs to start this by herself and for her herself. Very empowering stuff.. the courage to heal workbook by Laura David. A necessity for anyone sexual abused. I hope she finds the help she needs on it. <3
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