December 12, 2008
I was molested by my cousin my entire childhood – but it’s no longer a secret.
Category: New Secrets
Tags: abuse, secrets
I’m glad you did, Me too, but no one believed me.
I believe you.
Thanks. It was 12 years ago and I’m in a much better place in my life.
I know how that feels. It happened to me to.
i was too, i tell people i trust.
but honestly, sometimes i think it was all a dream.
or maybe i’m still lying to myself.
i was too. and i’ve only ever told one person. but i never told them it was my cousin…i’m too ashamed that i let it happen…
No one believed me when I told what happened to me either, but like Jenny, I believe you.
It feels like a blurry dream with you too? I’m sorry that it happened to you, you’re not alone.
I believe you too
You didn’t let it happen, never blame yourself. It isn’t your fault.
Your secret is the same as mine, the non secret kind. Everybody just pretended it never happened though and i was left to deal with it on my own, nobody ever talks about it now and they all carry on as normal.
I was also molested by my cousin growing up, right up until my late teens. now i am 30 and he is still trying to bother me. i have threatened action against him but his threats are more severe. he claims he loves me and always has. i hate him for the past sufferings that he has caused me and will not take that shit no more. today i take back MY life and MY future. Both will not involve him and i WILL make sure of that.
This happened between 2 of my cousins. I was the only one that took her side.
You’re braver than so many, and I’m proud of you. My coach only molested me for 8 months, he groomed me like you wouldn’t believe and when I finally woke up to what he was doing I told the police. the thing I hear most is ‘oh we all new he was like that.’ It pains me to think that so many adults could turn away, but thnen i think than i was the one person who stopped it for his future victims, and I’m proud.
Hey everyone. It seems that a lot of people that commented on here have had similar experiences. I too have had one. I know it’s really hard to get through and I am still dealing with what happened and it was 5 years ago. But there are people out there that have had the same experiences that can help you. There is a site that I found a while ago that can help. It’s called Points with Purpose and it is run by an artist David Ilan. For every survior and supporter that joins he adds a dot to a portrait he is doing for Rape and Sexual abuse. Check it out. Here’s basically what it is taken from the site:
If you have been raped or sexually abused you can join the project here (It’s free), giving your real name or an alias, and have the option of sharing your story. There is also a place in the drawing for people who want to support survivors. I add one dot for every person who joins until the drawing is complete. The final drawing will be of a woman looking confident, proud and beautiful. By joining the project, thousands of people with a shared tragic experience will work together to form a work of art meant to show others who go through similar experiences that they too can feel confident, proud and beautiful again.
This is the link to the site.
You are an incredible and strong person and you should definitely be proud that.
i understand this! it as if it was a film, or u was a different person and you just watched it happen! xxx
Well done to you!
And congrats on where you are now.
I wish you well for the rest of your life.
Please be so proud that you stopped the abuse of his future victims. I am proud for you. When I doubt my self worth the one thing I can say I accomplished was breaking the chain of childhood sexual abuse. I will never be an abuser and my daughters will not be abused.
My parents divorced when I was 3. My dad was a drunk. I was molested and abused in every way by my dad from the time I was 2-12. I never told until this past summer. We never did anything about it either. Now he’s in the hospital. I used to hate him, but now I feel like I have to get over what happened and spend time with him before he dies. He’s not supposed to live past Christmas.
My mom abused me verbally and physically, though she never realized it. I never told her either. I didn’t want out relationship to be worse than it already is.
I feel sorry for my baby sister who has to live her life with a mother like that, but I’m glad she has a better father than I ever dreamed of having.
you don’t have to get over it. Spend time with him, sure, even try to forgive him if you can. But there’s no excuse for that. Don’t let it rule your life and certainly don’t feel like you have to ‘get over it’. You’re the victim here. Not him.
good for you!!
I’m still trying to get the courage to tell my parents about my childhood..
so was I, you’re one of the bravest people out there. Congratulations
me too! and i feel so much better now.
I was molested too, you’re bravery to tell inspires me, I wish I could
Someday I hope I will be able to like you did.
If effects me everyday and I hate him so much
me too. but my family doesn’t know.
i’m still afraid they won’t believe me.
a coping mechanism… Its has to be hard to work through… like greif
I know how you feel Magenta, NOONE believes me either. They took her side.
GOOD. FOR. YOU.
honestly…. to some of you guys.. move on. there are better things in life…
I was sexually abused the majority of my life by four different people. 2 of which were in my family. It was bad enough that I developed PTSD. I tried telling my mom when it happened the first time but because i was seven she didn’t believe me. When I was older I started having flashbacks and nightmares and problems sleeping. I started feeling depressed and suicidal, once again i tried telling my mom about the abuse and she tried guessing who it was and she guessed everyone male family member but him. Then she and my dad finally talked to his family and my grandparents, and I ended up getting blamed, or was told to just get over it, or well it was so long ago… they don’t know about the other three people and they never will. My world came apart and now i’m slowly realizing how dysfunctional my family really is. It is not my fault, nor is it ever anyone’s fault when this happens to them. I’m still working on healing, but i know now that i will never be able to live with my family again. They are too destructive to my well being and i deserve better. I am so proud to all the people who were brave enough to tell, even if no one else believes u I do! I care about you and all of you are in my prayers each night!
i still cant tell my family that i was a victim of child-on-child sexual abuse where when i was 5 or 6 a girl a yr older than me molested me… caused me to be sexual at a young age .. i messed around with my guy freind closely after that but we both wanted it .. but its not ok .. bcuz of her i can trust a girl .. i cut myself .. i even catch myself “falling” for 13 yr old girls bcuz i mostly relate to them not ppl my age .. im bisexual bcuz of that experience and now i have no sex life im 23 … i never abused another but i have thought about it .. i blame my experience and i hate myself for it .. i hate that my mind sees young ppl as sexually attractive .. it makes me cut myself .. i lay at night crying sumtimes bcuz im alone … i have severe trust issues .. plus when i was a teen me and my cousin fooled around and now i question if she was molested bcuz her father ad mother were dope heads that were always gone or passed out .. now i can say that i ahte these things that excite me … bcuz i remember that day .. my life will never be normal … i feal as tho every girl is trying to break my heart or use me …. ive only been on this site for a day but i noticed not many guys share my experience …… another experience as a kid what i remember to be my sister in my parents room .. dressed me up as a little girl .. i was in the 2nd or 1rst grade .. i had long blonde hair down to my but .. she but make up on me and a dress .. told me how pretty i was … and after years .. i now think it was my mom bcuz it was her room .. but i remember as my sister doing it .. but all my childhood is a blur .. i didnt start really memorizing anything until i hit 4th grade … i would go to mcdonalds and instead of a hotwheels they always gave me a barbie .. and once my mom made me go by myself to the counter and ask for the hot wheels .. when i did the young girl workin sed .. lil girl u got barbie dont u want it .. and i sed no im a boy i want a hotwheels…. apparently i was a pretty lil boy ? so now i crossdress when im alone .. but i cant get out from under the covers when i am cross dressed cuz i feal ppl watching me … and now i fantasize that a girl would “man handle ” me … make me that lil girl again … i watch disney chanel and nick … im 23 .. i love wizards of waverly place and zoey 101 … i cant be entertained by the gross tv programs … but i still watch kinky porns .. and it feals as tho i need to be kinkier …. and a yr or so ago .. i grew my hair out .. still a fat kid i wore black goth pants .. and one day there was 4 or 5 guys in a bed of a pickup truck at a stop light .. they all wissled at me like i was a girl … i turned to look and they realised with my facial hair i was a guy … but i liked the wissling … im bi now plus sex is all i can think about most of the time … bcuz im too afraid to fall in love anymore …. my first love was my dads gf’s daughter … i know ….. and i still cant get over her and its been years ….. well thnx for letting me get that stuff out … i never got to do that really b4 .. love u everybody and good luck and thnx for being there when no one else is
Good for you.
I was molested for much of my childhood by a close friend, who is the son of my parents’ best friends. I’m terrified of telling them because I don’t want it to hurt their friendship… but I also have developed very dangerous coping mechanisms as a result…
I feel your pain. I was molested for much of my childhood, by two different persons. First was my cousin, who was 8 years older than me. He made me “scratch” his dingy with the palm of my hand. The other was a family friend, who taught me how to masturbate at the age of 5. He would make me do it while he watched and did the same. I hate them both and pray to God I never see either of them ever again. I avoid family functions because of them. My family thinks Im an asshole.
I was molested by an Indian guy I thought was my friend at the beginning of this year and I still haven’t been able to get over it. My depression has become more frequent and I am scared that I will become suicidal again or develop anorexia. I understand what you mean about the hazy dream. Every time I want to talk about it with my family, I feel guilty burdening them with my feelings. Just want you to know we all support you here.
I understand the burry dream thing, sometimes I think I made it up, but I know I didn’t. I haven’t told anyone, it was my brother not my cousin. I’m too ashamed.
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