33 thoughts on “I wish I could go back”

  1. i wish the same thing every day of my life. and by the looks of your postcard it looks like you would have to go a long way back to love him again too. i keep happy pictures of my father and i in an old book, i was really young. i look at them when i need encouragement to know that he wasnt always the way he is today.

  2. I feel you Aimee, after reading this persons truth I realize that it’s the same as mine, I just don’t know if I hate my dad he just….bothers me.

  3. i used to hate my dad when i was younger, he was a drug addict. now that i’m older i’ve learned to love him.

  4. I finally stopped hating my dad when I gave up on him. I will probably never care about him again. In a way, this is so much worse

  5. I understand this completely.
    My dad was my best friend.
    Then I started remembering.
    Then I started hating,
    and now I despise him.
    For never admitting,
    never accepting,
    and never remembering when my birthday is.

  6. i feel the same way.
    my dad has never loved me.
    my mum just says he finds it hard to show he loves me.
    but if he did love me he’d make a fucking effort,
    because he knows how much it hurts me.

    he loves my brothers
    i know that.
    he always told me off for arguing with them
    but he’d never tell them off if they’d argued with me.
    sometimes he’d hit me, but he’d never hit them, not once.

    i love him.
    but sometimes i feel like i hate him
    and sometimes i wish i had a different dad
    a dad that loves me
    and im ashamed to think that.

  7. It hurts to think I used to run into his arms and he used to swing me round. We laughed together once. What happened?

  8. yea my dad is an alcoholic… I used to hate him and still do a little. But I am older now and am still in the process of forgiving. I’m glad that you are able to love him now. Wish I could get to that point…

  9. I was always a bit scared of my dad .

    But I don’t know why.

    Now that he is gone I can’t stand to look at pictures of him .
    They seem to make me feel he dissaproved of me.

    But I don’t know why.

    Before he died I felt ashamed of him.

  10. I am afraid I have to agree. My father is the biggest bastard in the world and I’m supposed to feel sorry for him because he has alzheimer’s?? He was an asshole before it. Nothing’s changed.

  11. im sorry…
    i cant emapthize,
    but i can try to symathise
    im sorry
    some people in this world,
    we will never understand how or why
    they do the things they do.
    i dont think they will ever understand
    that the things they do affect everyone around them.

  12. I feel the same way. But, even though I want to love him, I hate thinking about a time that I did. If that makes sense.

  13. he was my best friend and then she came in and took him away. he tries now but it’s too late. im sorry for hating him bu there’s nothing i can do to change it.

  14. Same for me. Giving up on him was the only way I would cope ofr awhile. Now I feel like I should call him….

  15. I told my father than even if he was on his death bed i would still hate him… It still haunts me.

  16. me too. I hate my dad, and who he has become. He has ruined a lot of things for me, just because they remind me of him.

  17. I sort of feel the same way. My dad never did anything to hurt me or my family. I feel like he doesn’t accept me for who I am. I don’t ever talk to him about anything, because we’ve grown so far apart, I don’t know what to talk to him about.

  18. i feel the same way too. every birthday i would wait by the door for him to come and visit like he said he would, most of the time he wouldnt come and when he did he ignored me. all i ever wanted of him was a hug, its been 17 years and im still waiting…

  19. Laura, I learned how not to behave, from someone who hurt me. I think you will be a better parent because of how he treated you, you will know how it feels, and you will never make your baby feel that way.

  20. Zohra, thank you for your kind comment I too hope that when I have a child I will be a better parent than my father was. I hope that the obstacles you have overcome have made you a stronger person. Plus i also feel its like fate that i recieved the email about your comment yesterday as it was my birthday and my father was on my mind all day. I wish you a long life full of happiness and joy.

  21. i could ignore the alcoholic
    i could handle the bruises
    but the one thing i cant ignore
    is the real reason i cant look him in the eye.

    i hate my father so much that it hurts. he cant undo the things he has done to me without realizing, without caring. i have no relationship with him. it kills me knowing i dont even want a father daughter dance at my wedding. what he did cant be undone. no one seems to quite understand it. but im glad i saw this.

  22. this made me cry too. i dont hate my dad anymore, but i dont like him. and it kills me when i think that me and my family would have been better off without him… and when i think of my family to come. I wonder ill let him meet them or if ill even tell him, he didnt bother telling me.

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