Post Secret Archive

Read “Invisible Monster” by Chuck Palanuik.
It has the same theme as your secret.

I guess there’s no pleasing some people. You don’t sound like you would be pleasant to know.

you do NOT wish to be a burn victim. i dont think you fully understand what that would entail. maybe just work on being grateful for what you do have.. i think most burn victims would gladly trade places.

You don’t get to pick what you look like. Some people will never understand the burdens that come along with ‘beauty’. You’re lucky for that.

i understand how you feel.
i’m surrounded by fakes.
and every time i want to be loved…..it doesnt matter.
if i have a bad day and forget to put on makeup or do my hair….he won’t talk to me.

If you don’t want to be pretty then you clearly have never been ugly. I would rather get positive attention for the way I look, than not get any at all. You are ungrateful and as said earlier, would be unpleasant to know.
But then, I suppose at least you admit youre pretty. How selfless of you!

Don’t judge me until you’ve walked in my shoes. Things aren’t always as great as they seem on the other side.

I rather be looked down upon for how I look, than be surrounded by people who are only interested in me for that reason. I’ve had more insecurities as an attractive young woman than I ever did when I wasn’t so easy on the eyes. At least when I was less than fortunate looking, I knew that my ‘friends’ stuck around because they liked me, not how I looked.

Be thankful that the people you have in your life love you because you’re an outstanding person, not because you lucked out in the gene pool.

I’ve established in my lifetime that there are more important things than outer beauty. Looks fade. Sadly, most people honestly haven’t grasped that concept.

I don’t expect you to understand. I don’t want your pity. I sent this secret in because it’s the only secret I have left. It’s my deepest darkest secret. It’s the thing that I can’t openly come out and say to another person because they wouldn’t get it.

Imagine for a second, you’re 11 years old and totally head over heels in puppy love for the boy who sits next to you in science class. But guess what? He doesn’t give you the time of day.
Years pass by, puberty was kind to you, you filled out pretty decently and grew up quite a bit. You run into him and he’s the one falling head over heels. You haven’t changed much. You’re still the same awkward shy scrawny little girl you were before, but does it matter? No. You have a nice rack so he decides you’re worth talking to now.

You may still not get it. I don’t really care. I don’t owe any of you anything.

But it’s true what they say, beauty is only skin deep.

The world will always be filled with ignorant shallow fucks who can’t get past a pretty face, but you don’t have to be one of them.

You people are ridiculous. It does suck being attractive, because people get all these notions about you, and you miss out on some of the greatest people you will ever meet, because they get intimidated. It sucks even more if you realize it, and abuse the good looks you were fortunate to receive. If you don’t think you’re attractive and call this person stupid, you may wanna think about what you’re saying before you say it. The only reason you wanna be pretty is because society told you what pretty was, and sorry, you didn’t fit the mold. If you did fit the mold of beautiful, odds are, you’d be a jerk because you didn’t know how to be modest and try and let other people shine.

It is true that Beauty is something that society has decided to put parameters on, but there is mathematics to it. There are ratios that fit into what people perceive as “pleasing to the eye.” I will admit that it is wrong for people to judge based upon physical beauty, whether a person be considered ugly or beautiful. But before anyone can be, what i think of, as a “good person” and not a jerk, then they need to be honest with themselves. In this respect, i will ask, when was the last time any of you went up to a person and said to them, “you know, I think you have a good personality.” Never. You wouldn’t and this is simply because sight surpasses all other human senses. It is totally normal for someone to be intimidated by “beauty” or “ugly”, by physical appearance because it is the first thing you encounter. But it is the stereotypes that EVERYONE applies to those physical attributes. Someone sees another of beauty and thinks, fuck that bitch, she is probably a sorority bitch and only thinks of herself and make up. We all do it, get over it and keep your head up. Next time you have a problem like this, imagine yourself talking to someone with your eyes closed. Listen to their voice, inflections, that is where you can tell how a person is on the inside. You are only as good as you think you are.

I don’t think this secret user really wants to be a burn victim. . . literally.
I mean I know what it’s like to have people judge you for only what you look like.
I mean people get judged whether they are ugly or pretty.
But honestly, I know that pretty people sometimes get quite cocky and focus on whoa me….
but these people that are gorgeous and that are complaining about how it’s so hard being pretty. . .
how many times have they had to sit alone at night and wonder why no one calls them.
but at the same time, I know how hard it is to never know when someone is being nice to you because they like you
or
whether they are being nice to you to get some from you.
Sometimes I think it would just be better to completely vanish from everything i know
and reappear somewhere as a stranger and get to know everyone one more time.

If you really wanted to be unattractive, you’d have figured out by now that it’s easy to accomplish that with makeup, hair, and clothing. Stop victimizing yourself. I doubt very much that you’ve ever known what it is to be unattractive beyond adolescence.

She doesn’t mean literally, burn victim. She means she wishes people would see past her beauty. Though SVA has a point- its not difficult to “let yourself go.” You must like some part of it to keep up with all of it…

I can understand both sides…
but as the girl who’s always wanted just one person to look at her and think, “She’s beautiful” I can’t seem to wrap my minda around WANTING to be ugly.

What does it matter why people are nice? Beauty makes life so much easier and better. I’ve been to both sides… I’m so glad I’m “pretty” again…

I’m not naturally pretty, I don’t think. I could be very unattractive if I wanted to be, but I stick with attractive for the benefits it entails. However, I prefer to look attractive in an unsexual way. It might be because I am asexual, but I’ve always felt most comfortable with myself when I know that most people won’t find me sexually attractive, yet I still like to look fashionable as fashion is one of my greatest interests. That way if people want to talk to me without knowing me I’ll know that it’s because of the way I dress (which I find a greater compliment than people saying “you’re really hot” actually), or people liking me once they get to know me properly which is even nicer.
If you’re beautiful, do not wish you were a burn victim. That’s an incredibly selfish thing to say. Incredibly. Just try to emphasise your other qualities. I find it very hard to believe that you’re so beautiful people would look right past them if you DIDN’T try to emphasise your personal beauty. You say that you miss being ugly? I guess that means you’re not naturally beautiful. So… it sounds to me like this ’secret’ is pretty insincere.

My opinion is that no one should be judging her for writing her secret, it doesn’t matter if you agree with her or not. Everyone here writes there secrets to get something off their mind and i think it is so unkind to tell someone whether or not there secret is right or wrong. Everyone needs to leave her alone and let her think what she wants about her own life because she is the only one who has to live it, not us!!!

http://tinywhitelies.blogspot.com/

I understand, I wouldn’t like my friends to be with me to be shown with me, they should be there for how I am and because they want to be around me…I’m lucky that most of my friends are here for me=) but I think you would regret wishing to be a burn victim if you later got caught in the fire…maybe you should just wish for better friends..;)

I know how you feel. It sucks being pretty. As soon as you get a boyfriend, the guys you thought were your really good friend disappear. You can’t find girl friends because most girls hate you on sight and talk shit about you when you’re in the same room and can hear them. It doesn’t matter if you are a virgin from anything sexual until you’re 20 because all through high school and beyond girls label you as a slut and start rumors about you. I wish I could be like one of those mean pretty girls, but I feel too guilty when I even think of saying anything snotty. It doesn’t help that the best friends I had died. What is prettiness? It doesn’t last….it’s a curse. There is too much stigma about being pretty.

i know how you feel.

I feel you, I always wish that guys could see beyond my beauty, everytime I wish that the next time i go partying with my girls , all attention wiil be on them and none on me. I gave up the dating scene but i really do hope to meet one guy who will see beyond my looks!!!!

Everyone gets unwanted attention here and there, but those who are particularly attractive definitely get the most. I feel like the seemly unfortunate “unattractive” ones are truely the lucky ones. They never have to worry about strangers drooling over them, inappropriate advances, comments, etc.. In high school I wished for my boobs to grow, they never did. I thought I was a pretty good person and accepted the fact that I was flat chested and “average” looking and believe it or not everyone around me did the same. If you’re happy with the person you are (on the inside), no matter how “pretty” or “ugly” you will find genuine friends and companions.

I wish I was pretty. I don’t know what anyone would not want to

if you were a burn victim then everyone would feel sorry for you, so you still wouldn’t know who your real friends were. and i agree with above comments that it’s not that hard to make yourself less pretty if you want to. i’m not trying to say that in a mean way, but maybe it might help.

I wish I had your problem.

I know what you mean; other people shouldn’t judge.

I know I’m pretty and I’m not concieted, just honest.

I can’t say that I wish I wasn’t, exactly… but I wish that I wished that I wasn’t, if that makes sense. Since I’m pretty I can’t help but be at least somewhat consumed by vanity. I’ve used my looks (by this I do NOT mean sex!) to manipulate men and get myself out of trouble before… I know it’s wrong but I can’t quit doing it because I know that I can always fall back on it, and even though I’ve used it to my advantage it’s made me so cynical because it depresses me how people are so willing to believe that a pretty girl is STUPID…

I like being told that I’m attractive but at the same time I don’t take the compliment seriously because I know it’s meaningless. Same thing goes for being told that I’m “cute” or “adorable”. I smile and say thanks but what I’m thinking is that it’s all just a fucking trick; it means NOTHING. I sneeze, yawn, talk, laugh do whatever “cute” because it’s a kneejerk reaction and I can’t imagine functioning NOT doing these things because it’s SAFE for me.

I’m so afraid that I’ll never be taken seriously and I hate myself for falling back on “pretty” as a way to get through life. I would be terrifed to live my life without being pretty because I honestly would not know how to get through basic interaction with people.

I think the luckiest people in the world are those who honestly just don’t give a shit about physical appearances. I know a girl who doesn’t wear make up, buys clothes from a thriftstore and cuts her own hair. Once, she didn’t shave her legs for months because she didn’t see a reason that she should HAVE to do it. I wish I could be as brave as she is…

i wish i was ugly again.
i dont know who really likes me.
i hate being pretty.
i hate it i hate it i hate it.
i became pretty and thin for other people.
because someone told me.
i became pretty for him, even though i’ve NEVER had any feelings.
i dont know why i did this.
now, im the pretty one that everyone wants to be.
if i dont look pretty enough, people complain.
i have to be pretty.
fuck being pretty.

I WANT TO BE UGLY AGAIN.

Stop being such an idiot. It’s so fucking easy to ugly-ify yourself, so stop with the whole “I’m the pretty one that everyone wants to be… I feel so sorry for myself ):” bullshit.
I am above average in attractiveness, I know I am, I get unwanted attention all the time. But half of the time it doesn’t even have anything to do with being attractive. Cat-calling and men sleazing on you happens whether you’re average or beautiful. If you actually had any intelligence whatsoever, you’d realise that you dont need to complain about how pretty you are.
People being friends with you just because you’re pretty? Ugly-ify yourself and then find out who your real friends are. If you really gave a shit (and if you weren’t so fucking dense), then you’d have done that by now.
People sleazing on you all the time? Simply reject them, and realise that there are A LOT of girls and boys out there who have the same problem who learn to deal with it. Not everybody is always looking for a hook-up, by the way. Believe me, it’s not that hard to find people that aren’t.
Just because you’re pretty, people aren’t automatically going to fancy the fuck out of you. If you think they are, well I can tell you that you must either associate with a lot of pathetic and lonely people, or it’s mainly in your head. I am a very pretty girl, and I know girls that are 100x prettier than me, and a couple of my friends are professional models. Yet before this I had never read such a pathetic self-pitying and attention-whoring pile of crap in my life.
Oh, and ‘justagirl’, considering the fact that I tend not to make friends with people who are unattractive (as in, people that dress well, as you can make yourself attractive through style), and I find it impossible to even get along with people that are unintelligent and/or lack substance, I can safely tell you that there are many, many attractive people who’s daily functioning is not just based on their appearance, and who don’t even feel the need to fall back on their appearance as a way of manipulating people. Yes, it is depressing that people are so easily manipulated by a pretty girl, and I confess that there have been times in the past when I’ve used my looks to get myself out of trouble, but I’ve never degraded myself so much as to pretend that I’m stupid. If I was that pathetic… yeah, I’d probably hate myself too.
You shouldn’t have to simply ‘fall back on being pretty’. And I find it impossible to believe that you don’t realise that.

It’s hard to imagine being attractive could be so problematic. I’d always imagined that even if people were drawn to you for your looks you could sort out whose intentions were good over time. Maybe its harder then I realize, though as someone said earlier “I wish I had your problems”

Well Katy, if we were to go by your reading comprehension skills then perhaps you don’t have to pretend. =) I never said I actively pretended to be stupid. Stupid is equated with pretty; I didn’t come up with that.

Anyway, wrote a longer response and then lost it so here’s the dl, mmmkay?

Insults and judgemental viewpoints do not belong on a post secret comment page. By posting what you did you perverted the board and everything that post secret stands for. Of course you have free speech, but seriously, grow up and show some discretion.

Oh, and if you think someone is pathetic, then you feel sorry for them, right? Still following?

Who insults people they feel sorry for? Assholes, perhaps?

Oh, and just to give you a heads up dear, someone might mistake you for a stupid person, insulting someone and then going on to say how you’ve done the exact same shit in the same breath. If you really thought you looked smart while Officer Meathead was oogling your (hint: NOT BRAIN!), uhh, guess again honey.

I fall back on “cute” as a defense mechanism because I’m scared to let most people know who I really am. When I was younger “cute” didn’t matter so much to the other kids, but they sure as hell caught on to the fact I wasn’t like them pretty quick, and I was called names and I was humiliated for being smart (and therefore different). The boys in my grade used to do things like hold my arms back and push my face in the snow, make me eat dirt, spit on me, stuff like that. They beat me up too. This went on for about two to three years. I think this is has something to do with why I am so weary of trusting people and letting them see who I really am, particularly people who are my own age. Judging by the way I act in social situations, nobody would ever guess I was that girl and that’s what I want. I don’t want to be that girl ever again because it’s my biggest fear.

So I refuse to let anyone in and I fall back on being “cute” because it’s fucking survival. I resent people for responding to it the way they do because I feel that they would hate me if they really knew me. At the same time, I crave their approval because I don’t ever want to feel worthless like I used to.

I am ashamed because I wish I was brave. I wish I wasn’t scared but I am and I can’t help it.

It’s true; I have some issues, what can I say, but seriously, who doesn’t?

I may be a neurotic sometimes self loathing crazy little nutcase but I have a good man and friends who love me for all that I am and I think that regardless of how fucked up I might be, it still beats being a bitch like you any day.

Take care.

Reading these comments, and being a girl that isn’t attractive, and deff not skinny, in a way this makes me less insecure. Not to sound rude, or I hope noone takes offense to anything I am about to say, but it makes me feel a little bit better, knowing that all the “pretty” girls wished they were ugly. I mean, half the time; walking by a bunch of girls that are pretty, and popular I put my head down, in hopes that they aren’t talking about me. I dress like a bum to school everyday, because I don’t give a fuck what any of the judgemental fucks at my school have to say, or think about me. So knowing that some of the pretty girls, that have all the guys want to look like me, and kind of feel jealous towards me, makes me feel better about myself.
I don’t see this as a selfish act, this is how she feels. She didn’t comment on a picture of you and say, “I wish I was as ugly as you.” So lay off, obviously she has issues with her own insecurity just like all of the rest of you.

Alright I seriously don’t get this.
I’m ugly and chubby,
and still have fake friends.
Be happy you are pretty,
and guys will like you,
and girls won’t throw things at you.
You don’t want to know what it is actually like to look uglier than everyone you stand next to.

I AM a burns victim. and I am not making this up. at the age of 15months old i tipped a pot of boiling oil on my head, receiving third degree burns on my neck, arms, chest, stomach and legs.
and though everyone is supporting me and the people like me. i am so happy this person wrote this secret.
I have always loved the way I am, and when people ask me: “Wouldn’t u rather not have ur burns? You’d be so pretty without them.”
I simply smile and say, “No. I’m happy they are here, because if they weren’t. I wouldn’t know who really loved me.”
And it’s so true, being a burns victim allows u too see the world in a whole new way, u get to know who really loves you for YOU and not for your looks.

thank you.
I really enjoyed your words.

Ive never been pretty or skinny, all though school I was used to being a loner and guys would rather make me upest everyday than talk to me. Now, growing up, people tell me ive changed and im beautiful, guys actually ask me out instead of making me cry. But, beauty is superfical, whatever is on the inside shows through. People may say im attractive but I dont think I will ever be until I believe it myself.

How unfortunate to be beautiful. Obviously you have never known what it was like to feel truly ugly. Would you rather walk into a store and have people do a double take because you are so unattractive? You should have ripped that guys heart out when he came sniffing around when you grew tits instead of feeling sorry for yourself. I have spent my whole life being fat and ugly….and I’m almost 40. My deepest sadness is that I am old and never felt beautiful a day in my life. You are a big baby. At least you have friends for some reason, instead of not having one single friend.

It is a double edged sword.
Once you become the burn victim you will get attention in a different way and have a new life and aspire to be something else. Every label draws attention. Don’t think there aren’t people who would prefer the burn victim over the hot babe. Why don’t you aspire to being fat?
I have a better idea. Work on your self esteem and begin to look inside yourself. Get a hobby and preferably one that does not involve fire.

I am a burn victim to. And I agree with Rebecca. I enjoyed the secret because I understand where she was coming from. I wasn’t a beautiful person- I was a pretty normal teenager with maybe just above average looks until the summer before my sophomore year in high school. When a bonfire exploded and burned my face, arms, and chest. I spent only a week and a half in the hospital and just a few months locked in the house away from the sun. However what I learned from being burned will change me forever.
Life Lessons Learned From Being Burned…
A lot of friends aren’t real. A lot of them don’t notice you’re gone, or do and just don’t bother to call. A lot of them are just “fluff” and just care about themselves. People are shallow. I learned that people base a lot upon yours look. And I had to spend the time in grocery stores, in the movies, or anywhere out in public with the stares of everyone. I had been a normal person but now I had turned into some kind of freak, but worse than that- I healed my skin although it is not perfect, it isn’t scarred badly.
No one could probably ever imagine what had really happened to me because I look normal. And that’s the worse thing that could ever happen to me. Because now that I have friends again I already know how fake a lot of them are, and I know how untrue those boys are. I also realize how mean things are when they say things because when people say things like ” i wish they burned to death” they don’t realize that everyone’s scars aren’t visible. And that is true about everyone’s lives. I want scars so bad. I wish I had them. I wish I could flaunt them and tell the world that I was a burn victim, and that I wanted friends who were going to care about me because I was funny, or caring, or even just because I was me! not because of my looks or anything else that really didn’t mean anything.

I go to Burn Camp. It’s a camp for youth burn survivors- and I now am a counselor. I think those campers are the most beautiful kids in the whole world. They are outgoing and smart and just incredible and they all live with their scars in such a profoundly amazing way. So I understand this secret- and even if you don’t you have no reason to put down what she stated. She took a chance and put it out to the world and guess what it’s called a SECRET for a reason- probably because she is ashamed of it.
Want to know my secrets?

That bonfire with one big flash.
Turned all the lies into gray ash.
All the people who were fakes
Friends, I thought, my mistake.
So then I cried, I was alone.
To face the roads all unknown.
But don’t worry now I am here.
And now my friends I see clear.

And I would never want to take it back. I love who I am. And if i could go back in time I would make sure that I got burned so I turned out exactly the same…maybe next time with some visible scars.

For all the people telling her she’s selfish or ungrateful, you OBVIOUSLY have no idea what’s it like to be in her shoes, or else you wouldn’t be attacking her. I know what she’s going through. This is not to say that I’m vain. I’m quite aware of my … looks. And honestly, I’d rather get complimented on my intelligence, or on my art, just not on something so … superficial. People have commented on my looks plenty of times, and I always thank them, so as to not appear ungrateful or rude. But I’d much, MUCH rather be complimented on my personality instead of DNA accidents that just happened to coincide with what society considers to be “pretty”.

IN my opinion, the worst part of being pretty is that people assume you are stupid. There is no way you get decent marks in a competitive program or that you care about your GPA, because you are pretty.
It is infuriating that after losing weight and lucking out during puberty, my IQ, in the eyes of others, took a substantial dive.
People look me up and down then make a patronizing comment that there is no way I could get into a graduate program or become a professor, because of my outward appearance.

On the other hand, I would not for a second go back to being fat and ugly. Life is easier when you are pretty. At the end of the day, I would rather be able to walk down the street and have guys say 8.5 than 3.

wa. people actually despise beautiful girls. they like average girls because there is no competition. believe me nobody likes you for your looks, and probably not your personality either.

Girllll…..I’m sure your beautiful, but if you hate it, I kno you can “dumb your beauty down”. The most beautiful girl in the world can make herself average looking. Wear ugly baggy clothes, dye your hair a poop color, don’t wear any makeup, put your hair in ugly ponytails everyday, cut your hair off even, if you are really desperate try putting on a few pounds.
Then, you can test it out at least and see if you really forsake your beauty. Its easy to become unbeautiful today in our shallow world.

Personally, I am appalled by some of the comments. ALL people have insecurities. I think in the back of my mind I know I’m attractive. I’m told it all the time. But to avoid people like you saying comments like this, I have completely destroyed my self confidence so I don’t seem conceited like you make this girl seem. She ISN’T. People ARE beautiful and it’s OKAY to admit. So really, quit being so shallow. Being beautiful isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

I’ve never been a beautiful girl, but I understand the secret poster.

Yeah, we all wish to be more beautiful sometimes, but I think I’d hate it.

I find myself attractive, and I think I disagree with the sender and agree with her at the same time. Hear me out…I wouldn’t want to stop being pretty, but sometimes it can be a pain. Only because guys don’t actually get to know you to make a move, and some persistant ones (with help from their goons!) chase you even after you tell them you have a boyfriend.

However, I do have good true friends, that I’ve known for years. At the same time, I’ve only begun developing a bit more recently – face is clearing up and taking form as more mature, body is filling out, and I’ve also been taking care of my hair and wearing clothes that actually fit due to my boyfriend’s request (before was sweaters and jumpers).

I can’t honestly tell you if things had been different if I had met them how I am now, but seeing as they’re good people, I think things would have still worked out this way. And apart from the advances and the let-downs by people faking interest in your hobbies and dropping it the moment they know you’re taken, it’s not such torture as people are describing. But I am not insanely pretty – Nicely proportioned with a nice face, but not model material – so I can’t know if I’m even on the same page as these people. I also consider myself fairly intelligent, enough to hold a meaningful conversation, which could aid to my true friendships as well.

God everyone, stop attacking this girl ! This is how she feels & if you don’t agree with it, fine, but there’s no need to attack the way someone feels ! I completely understand what you’re feeling…for years I’ve felt like guys look at me like a sex object & nothing more, and trying to find ANYONE who is looking at you as a person, and not as a sex object, is extremely difficult and lonely. People on here who are posting from the flipped point of view, saying they’re “ugly” and would give anything to be “pretty”, I understand where you’re coming from as well, but just because you’re unhappy that you’re not as “attractive” as you want to be, doesn’t mean someone else that is considered “attractive” is necessarily happy. The world is a harsh place, with prejudice against virtually everyone for some reason or another. If you don’t understand her, that’s fine, but she’s clearly feeling very lost and alone right now and you lashing out against “beautiful people” is clearly not going to help. Inner beauty is what matters, and when no one even attempts to see it, you feel completely worthless, like you might as well be a painting on the wall for people to look at and say “oh, that’s pretty” and move on. You long for people to try to get to know you, to look at you & see your personality, not just a pretty face. Hang in there, girl ! The people who matter will make the effort !

P.S. after reading some of these other comments…I would like to agree with the fact that NO ONE takes you seriously. I’m going to college to be a Chemical Engineer, and am one of about 4 girls in my program. All my professors look at me like I’m completely unintelligent and there’s no way I’m going to complete my degree (compared to all the “Nerds” who look like they fit the part of a Chemical Engineer). It’s extremely fustrating when people say to me “come on…how are you cheating ? what are you doing ? we all know you’re really not THAT smart !” I was turned down from an internship because they “didn’t think I would make a good fit” even though I came fully prepared and thought I gave a great interview. I know it’s because, by looking at me, they didn’t think I was some supernerd ChemE. I LOVE Chemistry ! Why can’t anyone believe that just because I got a little genetically lucky ?

Thanks, Lassie ! Yes, some peoples’ shallow opinions are unfortunate, but I was lucky enough to be blessed with book smarts & have tried extremely hard to get where I am today ! If people chose to judge other people solely on looks, they’re clearly the ones missing out: missing out on a possible lover, friendship, or someone they could learn an important lesson from. Whether people are being judged for being “too beautiful” and thought to be superficial objects, or whether they are looked down on for being “too ugly” and simply overlooked…it’s always a shame. Everyone on here complaining about being “ugly” and bashing the poor girl who posted her secret are clearly all quite superficial themselves, saying all these negative things about “beautiful” people…you’re doing to other people the same thing you’re complaining about ! Being discriminated against because of your looks ! People who put their secrets on Post Secret are brave to share the hidden parts of their soul, and this site should be used to let them know they’re not alone, or ways to help…not to shut them down and tell them they’re concited, ect ! IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, DON’T SAY IT AT ALL !

oh, and Katy, if I were you I’d re-read your comment. You’re making a complete idiot of yourself, saying all that negative COMPLETELY UNCALLED for shit, and then saying you’re only friends with pretty people !? Come on ! That is the most stuck-up thing I’ve ever heard. You’re clearly an extremely superficial person who bases most of your decisions in life on looks.

“I find it impossible to even get along with people that are unintelligent and/or lack substance, I can safely tell you that there are many, many attractive people who’s daily functioning is not just based on their appearance, and who don’t even feel the need to fall back on their appearance as a way of manipulating people. Yes, it is depressing that people are so easily manipulated by a pretty girl, and I confess that there have been times in the past when I’ve used my looks to get myself out of trouble, but I’ve never degraded myself so much as to pretend that I’m stupid. If I was that pathetic… yeah, I’d probably hate myself too”

1. You are clearly NOT intelligent as all of your remarks have been completely ignorant.
2. You are CLEARLY one of those people who use their appearance to manipulate people, as you admit about 3 seconds later…way to contradict yourself !
3. I’m not a mean-spirited person, but you brought the card to the table, so…you’re on here calling people pathetic when clearly you’re the pathetic one wasting your time bashing all these people you know nothing about ! They obviously have problems and insecurities…everyone does…except you, apparently, because you CLEARLY have no problems with yourself. Here’s a hint: NO ONE CARES IF YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL IF YOU’RE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL BITCH !! Take your negativity elsewhere. Thanks

The general point I was trying to make with my last post was that the TONE of your message was unnecessarily rude, and came across like you were completely attacking the sender, which isn’t what I believe Post Secret is about. It’s about sharing your deepest secrets & the fact that people can write responses & show you that you’re not alone with your fears / problems / insecurities can really help people that are struggling & don’t know what to do about it. I will admit, my last comment was a little harsh as well, but I was just imagining the sender coming on to Post Secret, looking at her secret, and seeing 30 comments of people telling her she’s a shallow bitch / conceited / it’s her own fault people view her like that because of the way she must portray herself, ect. And obviously, this is her big insecurity, and seeing all that negativity probably just added to her woes & made her feel even worse about herself ! So Katy, I apologize for my rash comments earlier, but you should think a little more about how your message will be perceived before you attack people like that.
*And another word to the sender…while the world is very judgemental, the only thing that REALLY matters is what you think about yourself. You should never have to hide who you really are, and, although the suggestions of “uglifying” yourself are with good intent, you never want to change how you dress & how you portray yourself to conform to the ideals of society. On the flip side, I obviously don’t know your situation, but I do know that many beautiful girls (who know they’re beautiful) like to flaunt it, which is okay, in moderation…people have completely different views when they look at a beautiful girl, who has good hygeine & takes care of herself, versus a beautiful girl who tries to enhance her look with lots of makeup & racy clothes, ect. if you catch my drift. In between some of the less positive comments is a lot of good advice (& kindly shared personal stories) from people in varying situations, but who can all relate to the general feeling of being simply viewed as a pretty face, and nothing more. I’ve finally found friends that aren’t fake or superstitious, or only want “hot” friends (yes, I’ve had plenty of those friends) and I’ve finally found an amazing guy who doesn’t look at me like a sex object, but loves my personality & still thinks I’m beautiful even when I wake up, with my hair everywhere, no makeup on (YES it’s SO corny, & I didn’t believe those guys were out there, but it’s true!)…those people are out there, & you’ll find them ! Keep your head up !

Yes, you’re right – you can learn things from different people. But usually when making friends with someone you will have something in common that initially brings you together, and only after you’ve started making the effort to talk to that person can you get to know them and other things you have in common (or things you don’t). People who are into fashion aren’t all the same kind of person, and I don’t always talk about fashion with every single one of my friends (infact I only ever talk about it at all with a few of them), it can just be a mutual interest that brings people together and gets them talking in the first place.
I don’t see uglifying yourself as not being hygenic or wearing baggy clothes / not wearing makeup. Uglifying yourself could mean getting a ridiculously bad haircut (hair can and does completely change the way a person looks and can transform someone from plain to stunning), wearing makeup in a really bad way, wearing awful clothes. Despite what people seem to think a beautiful person can ALWAYS be made ugly, because as I said… you can change the aspects of your appearance to make yourself look attractive (as opposed to the way you were born) and it works the other way, too.
I wasn’t saying that at all. What I said was:
“Cat-calling and men sleazing on you happens whether you’re average or beautiful”.
When I was talking about uglifying yourself I was referring to if you genuinely hated being beautiful. Attractive people have every right to complain about people judging them purely on their looks / people only wanting to be friends with them because they’re good looking etc. etc… but they have no right to say that they would rather be ugly (or disfigured) because in a patriarchy, the odds of whether or not a situation will be advantageous will 80% of the time be in their favour.
I completely agree – a woman can wear whatever she likes and should never be blamed for what happens as a ‘result’… however, like I said, if somebody GEUNINELY BELIEVES that being physically beautiful is a ‘curse’, then it’s easy enough to change.
Comfort isn’t really an issue – attractive clothing will not 100% of the time be the most comfortable. Baggy clothing will not always be ugly and tight clothing will not always be attractive. Comfortable and unattractive clothing is incredibly easy to find haha.

That was directed at Lassie, sorry.
I didn’t see Christine’s post.

Katy: “Yes, you’re right – you can learn things from different people. But usually when making friends with someone you will have something in common that initially brings you together”

Me: “But at first impression you’re generally likely to head to what
is familiar that you know, like, and have a safe bet on connecting
to that person with it.”

Katy: “I don’t see uglifying yourself as not being hygenic or wearing
baggy clothes / not wearing makeup. Uglifying yourself could
mean getting a ridiculously bad haircut”

Honestly didn’t think of that but you are right. Everyone deserves
to be beautiful but if she values the chance of finding out who
her true friends are, refusing to mess up her hair would
contradict the seriousness of her postsecret.

“but they have no right to say that they would rather be ugly
(or disfigured) because in a patriarchy, the odds of whether or
not a situation will be advantageous will 80% of the time be in
their favour.”

Good point, but those advantages ‘in their favour’ would be rather
unfair and they would sense that, and maybe feel hurt if they
felt like their work and intelligence has been brushed aside
as an effect from that. They have a right to complain about that
too. I think that while you may not agree with it, and while I may
not agree with it, everyone has the ‘right’ to want to be ugly.
Whether you agree with their statements, disagree, or question
if they were serious, they still have the -right-.

“however, like I said, if somebody GEUNINELY BELIEVES that
being physically beautiful is a ‘curse’, then it’s easy enough to
change.”

Yes, I see that, I understand what you mean now. There is a
big distinction in uncomfortable pretty people who enjoy and feel
good about being pretty and those who genuinely despise thems
elves and the world affected by it, but do nothing to act on it.

“Comfort isn’t really an issue – attractive clothing will not 100%
of the time be the most comfortable. Baggy clothing will not
always be ugly and tight clothing will not always be attractive.
Comfortable and unattractive clothing is incredibly easy to find
haha.”

Pillow cases, feel the breeze

It was indeed unnecessarily rude. But holding back wasn’t exactly necessary, either. I wasn’t attacking the sender specifically, I was generally responding to many of the (quite frankly) ignorant comments left on this secret, and then in one part to a specific user’s comment.
Yes – this is for people’s secrets and for support of them, but to be honest with you, this secret is just fucked. She needs to be told that thinking like that is selfish and wrong, because it is. I knew exactly how my comment was going to be perceived, and I have absolutely nothing to apologise for.
Let me give you an point of comparison:
A rich kid goes to school where the majority of students aren’t rich. Many of the students try to make friends with the rich kid just because he is rich. Taking the attitude of the sender of this secret (and most of the comments) and applying it to this situation would result in this kid having this view: “I am so sad that I have no real friends. I wish I was poor like the majority of the world ):”. Now while you may sympathise with this rich boy, having this view would be incredibly selfish. Because at the end of the day, regardless of the few disadvantages that exist as a result of having the better deal, *in comparison* to being the poor majority, being the rich kid would be paradise. It’s like a man complaining about sexism towards him and as a result wishing he was a woman. It’s just bullshit.

RE: the other part of your message directed to the sender,
“you never want to change how you dress & how you portray yourself to conform to the ideals of society”
Being beautiful implies you ARE the ideal.
“I’ve finally found friends that aren’t fake or superstitious, or only want “hot” friends (yes, I’ve had plenty of those friends) and I’ve finally found an amazing guy who doesn’t look at me like a sex object,”
Yet another reason why beautiful people shouldn’t wish they were ugly so they could find true friends. It’s not easy, but it’s not that hard. Certainly not hard enough to even compare to the disadvantages you face as a result of being unattractive.

@ Lassie
“Good point, but those advantages ‘in their favour’ would be rather
unfair and they would sense that, and maybe feel hurt if they
felt like their work and intelligence has been brushed aside
as an effect from that. They have a right to complain about that
too. I think that while you may not agree with it, and while I may
not agree with it, everyone has the ‘right’ to want to be ugly.”
Yes, they have the right to complain about it but it will never justify wanting to be ugly. It just won’t. It’s simply not comparable.

Technically they have the ‘right’ but morally, no they don’t.
Thought doesn’t get thrown out the window. I still believe everything I wrote in my angry post. Interesting discussions can be hostile. I was FEELING hostile, but still expecting replies / a discussion. I could have left out the insults but considering how insulting the secret and many of the comments were, I didn’t exactly feel that they deserved it.
I don’t think you understand where I was going with the sexism example. I was referring to the male sex and beautiful people as being the priviledged group. In comparison, women and unattractive people (especially unattractive women, by the way) are disadvantaged. Yes, both men and beautiful people are disadvantaged in some ways but they are so vastly priviledged in comparison that to even suggest that being in the other boat would be a smoother ride implies a severe lack of both empathy and basic common sense. Attractiveness and gender are both parts of a person, and advantages / disadvantages as a result of both will mainly occur after simply acknowledging which of the two a person fits in with. How can a woman and a man have the same advantages? If one person is advantaged then another is disadvantaged in relation to that person.

Considering we live in a patriarchal society (this is not opinion, this is fact. No matriarchal society has ever been recorded in history, ever) I’m surprised you’re even asking for sources. Go outside, communicate with strangers, watch the television, apply for a job, read the newspaper. If you have sexism in mind and the ability to recognise it (although most people don’t, at first. Sex discrimination is so prevalent in society that most people, such as yourself, aren’t even aware of the vast majority of it until they study it at school or research it independently) you will see it literally everywhere.
Haha, there’s even a Wikipedia article on it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_privilege
But if you haven’t read anything on it before then this is probably the best to check out.
http://www.amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/
(scroll down)
If you want statistics you can ponder around here
http://www.unece.org/stats/gender/
or alternatively,
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=gender+statistics
The idea that men and women get the same chances is so far from the truth that I can’t help but wonder how old you are. I’m not being mean/bitchy, but I do find it hard to believe anyone at least in their teens could think that. I’m not trying to be mean, though!
Well for one thing you’ve listed one aspect of male priviledge in the first part of your comment. But let’s see if you can spot it.
” I see an attractive woman going farther than an attractive man, based on the assumption that someone will be surprised by that woman having talent and/or intelligence – and standing out that way.”
Why don’t you think about this sentence for a bit (in relation to male priviledge) and tell me what you come up with?

This is a test. If this goes through haha then sorry but my last post didn’t work?

What the hellll !! xD haha okay hold on I’ll re-write it.

Okay I’ll try to re-write this as I wrote it the first time xD
Considering that our society as a whole is a patriarchy, I’m surprised you even need to ask for sources or statistics. I would’ve thought you would learn about gender differences in school, at least to some extent. We didn’t learn about it in any depth (although I took the liberty of researching it for myself, as everybody should) but we were at least shown statistics relating to gender discrimination. Male privilege is evident as soon as you go outside pretty much haha. As long as you function in society with a good idea of what sexism and sex discrimination actually IS, you can see it EVERYWHERE.
Considering this is your first time hearing about male privilege (I imagine) then I’d advise you to read this:
http://www.amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/
(scroll down a bit).
You actually gave one example of male privilege in your comment!
“I see an attractive woman going farther than an attractive man, based on the assumption that someone will be surprised by that woman having talent and/or intelligence – and standing out that way.”
Re-read this and have a think about it… and tell me what you come up with!

http://blog.shrub.com/archives/tekanji/2005-11-22_72
Oh, and this is another listy thing.

your not beautiful. at all. and certainly not on the inside.
get over yourself, quit being vain.

This secret really made an impact on a lot of people. Ugly people who wish they were pretty don’t understand her because people always yearn for what they don’t have and so they are bitter. YOU guys need to get over yourselves. You don’t understand how she feels so you judge her and get so angry and jealous and she’s just a person who feels a certain way and wanted to share it. If you wrote a secret about wanting to be pretty and wishing you weren’t ugly, people could easily judge you and say you’re ungrateful for the things that you do have, but no one would ever do that. You only feel the need to tear her down because you hate yourself and that’s not fair. I can relate to what she is saying because I am an atrractive person. It’s funny because people always stare and look at your for a long time, and if it’s someone I can tell is insecure or jealous or thinking mean things about me because i’m pretty, i always smile at them to show them that just because i’m pretty, i’m not a bitch or someone you need to hate. And as soon as I smile or help them with something or compliment them to make them feel good, their face totally changes and it’s like they’re ashamed of being jealous because WE’RE ALL JUST PEOPLE. Ugly or pretty, we’re all just people.

Wow, clearly you haven’t even read half of these comments.

true… just the first bunch.
i think my opinion is still relevent though.

I like being pretty. People who care about brains and personality still care about those things in me, and those are the people who I have as friends and lovers. People who don’t care about those things at least put me in a good mood by telling me I’m pretty, and I don’t have to deal with them on more than a passing basis. Frankly, having been on both sides of the “considered pretty”/”considered ugly” divide, I consider myself blessed as all hell. Maybe the OP doesn’t hate being pretty. Maybe she’s just hanging out with the wrong people and needs to find new friends.

why do you think you are surrounded by people who aren’t really your friends in the first place? Obviously not for their sparkling personalities. You deserve better friends than that. It is NOT your beauty that is the problem. Pretty people don’t have to be friends with other pretty people. Perhaps is is your own shallowness that placed you in shallow hands…

i think from one side, it might be understandable why you wish you weren’t attractive, but if your reasoning is you don’t like being surrounded by fake friends, DON’T BE. it is easy to accept the people that are beautiful on the inside into your life, the only reason i see that you would have to have fake friends was if you where superficial like them.
i can understand how being attractive you could feel false, and unattractive. i come from the other side, the honest and true friends, family and loved one i have in my life make me feel beautiful when i think i am unattractive. honestly, if you open yourself up to the people who will care about you for YOU, you can have that. stop playing the victim.

is it bad that this made me feel good about myself?? at least i know the people who are nice are for real =]
there are people who love you for you. never doubt that.

Insecurity breeds whatever situation someone is in.
I wasn’t attractive at school. I felt incredibly lonely, my self esteem was nowhere because I was bullied for being “fat” (even though, looking back now, I wasn’t nearly as big as I believed and as they made me believe.) I developed an eating disorder, lost a lot of weight and gained a “lot” of friends and then I started to worry that they weren’t real, that they were only friends with me for how I looked (once again, looking back, I didn’t give them much credit. With losing weight I had gained an exterior confidence that I hadn’t had before and that was why I was more approachable) and I retreated again.
It is shown that people who are more attractive have a higher chance of being hired after a job interview than someone that isn’t and even though inside I know that I would rather be hired on my qualifications, experience and personality that is not something I can necessarily dismiss as a bad thing.
Both sides there are burdens and concerns and insecurities. But I have been both and both made me hideous, both brough different masks to me. I would never ever wish to be a burns victim – I think thats a disrespectful comment in its flippancy, but sometimes I do wish I could go back to being a hideous teenager and have grown as that person and taken confidence and strength from that rather than almost killing myself in a quest to be beautiful. But would I take measures to go back? No. Because even though we may worry, sometimes righteously, that the friends we have are “fake” the world is much kinder to us now than it ever was when we weren’t attractive and that is sad fact.

this is so typical of someone beautiful. Anything to get attention. I hate pretty people who say they are ugly 10 out of 10 times they just want confirmation of their beauty. Get over yourself.

while i can’t say i’ve had the exact same experience as this secret poster, i can most certainly relate, as i’m sure most of these people posting negative comments can if they push their own lack of self-esteem out of the picture for a minute and examine their lives. all of us have certain traits that get us unwanted attention, whether positive or negative, from society and people in our lives. while yours may be a lack of a certain characteristic, it remains the same that you are facing the same discrimination as someone with an overabundance of a certain trait. if there is nothing you should take from this secret, it is that people are so willing to change themselves to fit into society- to wish upon themselves such a thing as becoming a burn victim- to feel better about themselves as people. businesses make billions and billions of dollars a year to play off these insecurities they’ve created, telling us we are never good enough. to the previous commenter, i think it’s ridiculous to say that this “pretty person” sent in this secret to get more attention- this is an anonymous project, after all. the grass is always greener it seems, but secrets like this should remind us that this is far from true. beauty, like money or power, does not bring real happiness. the fact that this secret holder is being met with jealousy and bitterness and not compassion and empathy just shows that this art project still has a long way to go in reaching its true potential in opening people’s eyes and hearts. step out of your own shoes for two seconds and see the world through this person’s eyes. maybe it’s not all you imagined it to be.

You guys need to stop saying mean things on here.
People don’t post these secrets to get judged, they post them to get it out of there system. So don’t say she’s “selfish” until you have lived her life.

My thoughts on this topic: it’s true. Beautiful people do get treated differently from normal or average looking people. I find myself in the average category. However, my best friend is in the gorgeous category. I’m a freshman at college and I mainly hang around two other girls. They are two of the prettiest girls I’ve ever met. A lot of times I feel really ugly standing with them, hanging out with them, etc. It has caused me to become really insecure (in a drunken stupor I even started crying to my best friend asking if I was going to be replaced because our new friend was prettier than me, more likable, etc.). Sometimes I think, what makes them any better than me? Why is it that when we meet new people, they look back and forth between those two, and barely make eye contact with me once? Why is it that when people greet us it’s either “Hey Alice and girls” or “Hey Melanie and girls,” but never “Hey Emily and girls?” Why is it that every guy we come across is hitting on one of them, before he even knows what any of us are like? Now, don’t think I’m self-loathing or trying to get sympathy or some BS. I’m just showing the other, “ugly” person’s side of the story. Neither is fun. Both suck. That said, I’d probably agree with the person who posted this. I’d rather be ugly than pretty because then I’d know people like me for me. Heck, half the time I dress like shit anyway and look like crap. So yeah, I know I’m the “ugly” one, but at the same time I roll with it, and in the end, I kind of like not showing off my pretty side all the time. When I do it just makes a bigger impact, and when I do find someone who really loves me for me, I’ll find pride in making myself look prettier for them, not for the attention of everybody else out there.

Also, I think my best friend may have the same feelings as the girl who sent in this letter. Beauty is great, but it can also be a pain. I think my best friend wishes she didn’t attract all the male attention she does. Though in general, I’m sure it has it’s perks. But I definitely could understand why someone would rather be “ugly” than pretty. I’m one of the “uglies” and I prefer it that way, but there are still certain days when I wish I was the one who people were interested in talking to, instead of my prettier friends.

On a side note, I don’t consider myself ugly. Like I said in the beginning, I think I’m average. But I’m just using ugly as a comparison adjective because it works better.

I feel nothing but contempt and disdain for every person in this thread who uses the words “fat and ugly” synonymously. If you think being fat makes you ugly, you should know that A) There are plenty of very beautiful large women, and B) Fat is not exactly impossible to reverse. And if you are one of these people and you think the OP is the shallow one, have another look in the mirror.

Everyone on here is effin stupid. That was a wonderful postcard IMFO. I am not pretty yet and I can understand exactly what she is saying. If you are gorgeous you simply cant be a “real” person. Ugly people hate on pretty people. So all you haters are ugly. GET OVER “YOURSELVES”. Anyways I will be pretty here in a few months, and I am scared I am going to regret it.

My secret: I dont give myself to anyone completely because I am not comfortable with my body, and I think thats why my ex boyfriend dumped me. My motivation to get skinny and take care of myself is to make him want me back, so that I can dump HIS sorry ass.

There are days I feel the same. I hate how there are guys at the mall who only come up and talk to me because I’m pretty.