25 thoughts on “My mommy loves her bottle more than me”

  1. I understand every word of this.

    A little girl shouldn’t be brought up around such things, I know from experience.

  2. It’s a hard truth to learn. This hit my heart in a very tender spot just now. The hardest part about it is watching your loving mother kill herself one drink at a time….
    She might not be around for my wedding…

  3. I know the feeling, I’m 15 and my mother has been an alocholic since before I was born. She stopped drinking each time she was pregnant though, she could choose when she stopped. She hasn’t since, not really.

  4. i’m 14 and my sister has taken on the role of my mother since she was 16 and i was 8.my mother has been drunk my hole life.Now she always wonders why i hate her and don’t talk to her.she was never there for me.

  5. I’m 14 and I’ve had to be a mother to my older sister who is 16 because she doesn’t realize how hard it is for me to deal with while trying to hide our mothers drinking from her, because I know she couldn’t handle it.

  6. I know these feelings all too well. I’m 20 now, and my mother and I don’t speak. I’ve tried rectifying our relationship after years of torment and/or neglect at her hands, but her new boyfriend won’t tolerate anything negative between us.
    So I gave up trying to talk about the situation.
    My brother gave up years ago.
    I don’t know why I still tried.
    He’s happy.
    I’m not.
    Maybe in a few years I will be.

  7. Reading this made me feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach.

    I know the same thing is true for me. Everyone knows about her problem. No one admits it but me. I feel like I am fully responsible for my mothers slow painful suicide.

  8. mine too. I literally started to cry reading this and everyone’s comments. It’s comforting though to know you’re not entirely alone.

  9. Sometimes I feel that even if my mother does live until my wedding day, I won’t allow her to come to the wedding.

  10. yea, mine was the same way when it mattered. she’s sober now that i’m grown, that makes me happy, but it doesn’t make up for it

  11. Both of my parents have been that way my whole life. Six years between me and my sisters and I practically brought them up as mum was always at work and dad was always drunk.
    Nower days mum drinks a bottle of wine a night and two on Fridays and Saturdays. Dad does the same. Mum shouts at dad for being drunk all the time but never once see’s that she is the same.
    They both think I am jokeing when I mention it. I realy am not…

  12. My mother realised she had an alcohol problem about a year ago and the doctor told her if she wasn’t drinking first thing in the morning then it wasn’t a problem! This was the worst thing ANYONE could ever have done for her! She has cut down since but there are days when the slope is just too slippery. I thank God for my dad who tries to keep a lid on her problem. She’s a different person when she’s drunk and doesn’t realise what she says and how hurtful she is. I wish I had the same luxury.

  13. for the first 16 years of my life this was also my story she loved her bottle and only had her first 3 children bc “she was tired of doing all of the cleaning” i want u too know i believe one day we can both get past not being loved and be ok!

  14. My heart goes out to each of you. I have been so blessed to have both of my parents as being 100% sober for their whole lives. They both grew up with drinking fathers, but were never into booze or drugs themselves. I’m grateful that my parents not only don’t drink so they can hold down jobs and keep out of the courts, but because they respect themselves enough to want to have control over their bodies and actions at all times. I love that about them, and it has made it so much easier to not be out getting drunk or wasted myself. It’s important that kids have good exemplars living in the house they grow up in.
    Some people should not be entrusted with the welfare of children. Unfortunately, there is such a stigma of shame surrounding drunk parents that people see this as a secret, something to be swept under the rug again and again. I wish all children grew up in healthier dysfunctional families, since dysfunctional families are really the only kind of families on this planet.

  15. I still get scared to see adults drink now because of my mother. She drank and drove me and my siblings around for the last 4 years. I tried to talk to her about it, but she would make up another reason for her drinking and never fix the problem. Finally I stood up to her and she has actually confronted her problem. She is so much better today and though the wounds are still there and we are all still hurting, we are also healing. My heart goes out to all of you who are feeling the same that I have before. All I can say is try to show them love and help them to change, with as little anger as possible, for the both of you.

  16. Please note, though: Don’t be afraid of offering tough love. Most alcoholics got themselves into their mess. They shouldn’t be handled with kid gloves in their very adult problem. And it IS an adult problem, regardless of the chronological age of the booze-addict.

  17. this broke me. its true she loves her bottle and her boyfriend more than me. im 14 and basically live by myself. I love my mom but leaving will be the only thing that can set me free.

  18. @guardianangel #: My mom doesn’t drink, never was a drinker, but she is a sociopath, and even though I’m in my mid-thirties, she manipulates me to no end because there is no one else for her to manipulate and make miserable. All my siblings are married by now, thus, they are untouchable to her, and my dad is so smitten by her, he believes she can do no wrong. Get out while you can. The circumstances will never be perfect for leaving, but start socking away money here and there, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket,” and don’t keep all your “baskets” in the same “farmhouse.” Find genuine friends you can turn to in crises, get street-smart (especially getting to know “guy-speak”), and learn to do something really well, a necessary service or trade that society will always need, no matter what (not prostitution; you would be sooo miserable to the point of apathy as to whether you live or die). Don’t put off leaving the way I did; you’ll be your mother’s victim forever. And think ONLY VERY POSITIVE THOUGHTS about your future. Your life WILL get better. God bless you. 🙂

  19. It’s feels sureal the way they can cary on with drinking. It’s the disease of it. It is an addiction. My parents as well as the rest of yours drank my whole life (18) and caused neglect and misery. I learned to do it on my own. But they caused so much damage on me that they will never realise. I still talk to both of them and make sure to visit. I know they love me and seeing me makes them feel good. None of them wish to be in this position but they are too weak to escape. For all of you out there hang in there rise above and keep moving. You will be smarter and better individuals. Hold in there xo <3

  20. I completely know this feeling. For years as far as I can remember my mother has been an Alcoholic. It was very traumatizing. She developed the habit of drinking till she blacked out, her drinking lead to infidelity which I witnessed many times and I had to quietly suffer her betrayal. My father was not supportive and although he did not drink everyday, when he did he will become violent and on many occasions I witnessed Domestic Violence. Things became worst once I was a teenager, my mother began to drink more to the point she did not care about anything or anyone and was incomplete denial. The lack of support from my parents really affected me and it was embarrassing to tell any of my friends what I was going through. I felt no one could understand me. She participated in many detox programs and both outpatient and in patient AA programs, but none of them worked. She relapsed every time and the problem became worst. She was hospitalized numerous times, and we thought she was going to die. My dad placed a restraining order on her and she was forced to move out because she was a danger to our family. This made it worst. She began drinking more and more, and I would constantly be in panic and anxious that I will receive a call saying that they found her dead body somewhere in the streets. I luckily used all of that negativity and turned it into positive. I graduated from College but I was not feeling any better because she was still drinking. All of our family felt bad and spoke bad about her and sometimes made it seem as if I and my siblings were not doing anything to help her. We felt as if no one really understood what we were going through. We felt so hopeless. My two other siblings kept in contact with her but I couldn’t because I had so much resentment and I was so hurt. About a year ago she hit rock bottom and she almost died. With my boyfriend’s support I offered her to stay at my home since she seemed to understand she can not drink ever again in her life or else she would die. Thankfully today she is no longer drinking but she is only 53 years old and appears to be so much older. She has many health complications including liver problems, but I am very appreciative and glad she is no longer drinking herself to death. There was a time in my life where I lost complete hope, but today I tell all of you who are going through this, there is hope. It is not your fault and it takes the person with the problem to realize they have to change. If they never do, than you should never feel guilty and the best thing to do is to divorce yourself from that person, seek help and support and surround yourself with loved ones. You might never completely heel from the pain, but you can use this experience as a motivator to be strong and to never cause that pain on someone you love. Always remember to make wise decisions. Do not use things that happened to you in the past as an excuse for your failures. You have complete control over the choices you make in your life.

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