I’ve been having sex with my friend for a year
I’ve also been dating my boyfriend for a year
My boyfriend and my friend are best friends.
But I think I’m in love with both of them
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thts so fucking hot
omg! thats is soo sad!
that sounds like something i always thought of doing;
You ultimately have to make a decision on what you are going to do because trust me. This wont stay a secret for ever
You ultimately have to make a decision on what you are going to do because trust me….this wont stay a secret for ever.
me too. they just found out.
thats fucked up. your a cheater. you must not really love either of them if you are doing them both because you know if your boyfriend found out that he would be hurt because he’s being cheated on by his gf With his best friend. That’s like two slaps in the face at once.
You don’t love either of them.
You’ll figure it out eventually…and by then, one or both of them will hate you.
I’m not judging you…I’m just hoping you’ll make a decision soon.
Comfort and pleasure should never be mistaken for true love.
If you actually loved either of them, the other one would never have been an issue.
Tell your boyfriend. It will hurt him, but he needs to know. The friend just wants sex or he would have done something to change your relationship. Think of it this way, would you want someone you love sleeping with someone else. Plus the boyfriend is hopeful there for you more and if he loves you he probably does alot for you. You really need to tell him brefore its to late, before he finds out himself and it kills him inside.
i agree with this lies kill both the lier and the one being lied to in the end and really ur hurting urself as much as ur bf the sooner u make the decision u know u have to make the better for u and everyone else
i dont feel bad for this asshole
shes fucked up I hope she get STDS from that
who does shit like that
SLUT
you have to pick either one and talk to them both, it’s better to tell them than they hear it from somebody else;)
word. this girl is a bitch. she deserves STDs galore.
burn in hell
It will be ok one day
I’ve done it. The friend and the boyfriend will be rough for a while but eventually get over it. Your relationship with both will end up fine. Its all for the best to tell them though. don’t let them find out the hard way.
PS it is possible to love both its just a matter of who is more important
STOP NOW
Tell both of them together at the same time.
jamal, you are disgusting.
seriously?
get a life and get off post secret.
You can’t help who you fall in love with.
Don’t listen to what they’re telling you about loving and not loving. Monogamy doesn’t mean love. And it’s wholly possible to love them both. If they can’t share… That’s the real problem. I still think that you have to be honest, because being honest is important with those that you love. Deceit hurts everyone in the long run.
I hope that they can understand, and, you know, be willing to share you. I know someone in my daily life who’s polyamorous; she has more than one boyfriend most of the time. And one boyfriend has been the same for well over a year.
It’s possible to be with more than one person. Difficult, but possible. I wish you luck.
I can’t believe how you’re treating her. Have you ever been in love with more than one person at once? I know I have. Yes, I would say that she’s cheated, because she hasn’t been forthright with them, but polyamory isn’t disgusting.
You’re being awfully small-minded. Also, you shouldn’t wish STDs on people. That’s just hateful. I hope that you never experience that.
I wish that people could stop trying to hurt each other…
Why wouldn’t that have been an issue? People are not naturally monogamous, for the most part. I, myself, can’t understand jealousy. I would be delighted if my boyfriend found another girl that he was attracted to; I’d encourage him to act on it. I’m a big girl; I can share. And he’s told me the same.
People confuse me.
…This happened to me my senior year of high school. If you were with the boyfriend first and got with his friend second, you’re definitely in love with the friend.
The Friend is always The One, man, let me tell you…
…I still wish I could still be with The Friend, but now I’m across the country from home! If all else fails, you should find a baseball player with a nice tush.
But I think all true polyamorists will agree that there is something soul-wrenchingly wrong about keeping secrets from one or more of those involved in your polyamory.
Everyone should be a willing participant, or you are doing something very, very wrong.
I think people are too quick to attatch the lable of “polyamorous” to this girl. You are giving true polys a bad name.
Hello there. I’m about the only one standing up for her, and I specifically stated that I do think she’s cheated on them for that very reason. She has to tell them. It’ll hurt them all, possibly or probably, but that’s the only way to achieve healthy relationships, in my experience. Communication.
However, I didn’t like that others were attacking her, so I stood up for her. I think that this secret may indicate that she wants to be open, but is afraid. By calling her names and cheapening her love for them, even saying that she deserves STDs, people are driving her further into silence. That’s not what’s best for her. That’s the internet acting as a tool for hatred and a voice for deep-seated prejudice against polyamorists.
How does she give “true polys” a bad name? By keeping a secret that will get her attacked and blamed by most people who hear it? I know she should tell them. But that isn’t totally fair to say without knowing her whole situation.
By the way, if I sound upset or defensive, I’m not. I just woke up at six in the morning because of a dream, and am probably less coherent than I usually am.
While I’m a monogamous type of guy and quite jealous, I can understand how other people are suited to a different way of life.
I wish you luck in resolving the situation. With any luck, they are close enough friends to be willing to share, though the longer the secret is kept the more your boyfriend will be hurt.
I went out with my boyfriend for 2 months. He broke up with me. His best friend broke up with his girlfriend, she’s my friend. His best friend and I have been sleeping together for 5 months. I’m going to hell but I love him so much and he only sees me as a friend.
@Linzeey:
I basically did the exact same thing. I don’t regret it, either. I’ve moved across the country but me and the friend (who dated my girl friend, who was my boyfriend’s friend when we hooked up) keep in touch and will always be close. o.0
You are aware that you and your ‘friend’ are just backstabbing your bf,right?
Seriously, what kind of a gf are u? and what kind of a best frnd is he!
Stay without both of them for a month….you’ll understand who u actually feel for.. go with him (if he takes you that is!) and let the other free.
Polyamory?
I love this day & age; finding way to try & make slutting around acceptable by giving it a scientific name.
Yes, yes…the idea has been around for ages, I get that. However, I don’t know why people in such a modern time don’t just come right out & say that they wanna screw more than one person at a time because they enjoy it.
Lord knows morality isn’t a basis for actions anymore.
It doesn’t mean you don’t love them both. That’s too confused a word to make that kind of call about. Flip a coin, and pick which side is who after it lands, I suppose. Closest thing to a guide I can think of.
the heart wants what it wants…. but hiding and lying are not the way to go about listening to it. its natural to love more than one person, but it shouldnt mean that one of them is getting cheated on. it sullies the whole situation.
I *love* this attitude towards love and relationships.
Polyamoury is totally workable, but it’s too different from social norms for people to accept. Most people do the usual, and say you can’t love two people at once. That’s simply not true. Not of everyone.
You can’t expect everyone to act by *your* morals. You believe in monogamy. There are already plenty of cultures who accept polygamy – do you regard that as immorality?
Not everyone who sleeps around is polyamourous. Polyamoury is characterised by being open with everyone involved. And, as with the poster of this secret, can be motivated by more than just sex.
quite a pickle there
2nd Jamal, however, you the writer are a real piece of work. I hope they find out and crucify you. Start by apologizing.
I suppose if you love two people enough to consider spending the rest of your life with them you couldn’t go “hey guys would you mind if I dated you both in turn so I can choose” so “slut” is a somewhat inaccurate word, thanks guys, and if your best friend’s boyfriend thought you were the love of his life again I can sympathise, but is this really the foundation of a healthy relationship? Assuming the best of both of you, even if you tell your boyfriend and the three of you manage to work it out whoever you’re with in the end, would any of you really be happy in that situation – which is at the moment the most ideal?
It’s clearly going to be hard for all of you whatever happens, but I really hope it works out; maybe it already has, but if not just think for a moment, who could you most likely see yourself in a relationship with?
Now, who was the first one you thought of?
Good luck to the three of you xx
sorry I meant boyfriend’s best friend
as if it’s not complicated enough
Buncha maggots. You don’t know the first thing about being adults. Running around calling people “sluts” & “bitches” when you’re the ones who are acting like them.
jeez, don’t take it too personally or anything. Post Secret doesn’t need to be ruined by middle-school attitudes and anonymous people saying things like what you said in your comment. Real ‘adult’ of you. Save it for Youtube.
In the end you’re gonna be the one that hurts the most..
I hate comments like this, brutallyhonest. You’re calling Jamal out for making rude comments, and you’re here doing what.. the exact same thing? Don’t tell others to apologize when you are no better. God hypocrites are annoying.
Jamal trolls on every secret. If we ignore him, maybe he will go away.
Bottom Line: Don’t Feed the Trolls!
*rolls eyes* Aren’t you a catch?
I dated two friends and picked one. But they knew about eachother and I wasn’t exclusive with either. The sex and the lies are just complicating what could be a lot easier if you just DISCUSSED it.
you know what pisses me off about this is your terrible attitude … i have my entire life lost boys to girls like you … it just pisses me off when those guys could be with someone who is going to cherish them and love them like they should be loved .I annoys me when i am left alone while girls like you take two boys and damage them to the point where they are dysfunctional
!!
i just found out a friend did the same thing as you and i dont think i will ever speak to her again because it is just selfish when obviously both guys deserve to be with someone better the only reason you are doing this is because you like the attention and the feeling of feeling like your pretty hot please break one off before you scar both of them terribly !!
wow
I was on the receiving end of this.. do what your heart wants to but please make sure you’re right. I lost her, but im happy for her and my best friend because she is happy.
If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldnt have fallen for the second…
Sex is meant to be between two people that love each other and would never do anything to hurt each other. People that sleep around or have sex without commitment are the most disgusting wastes of human life on this earth. People like this make me lose faith in humanity and makes me wonder how many girls out there are lying cheating mentally retard cum dumpsters. There is nothing more disgusting than a girl or boy that sleeps around no matter what the situation is or what intoxicant there on. People like this cause so much pain and heartache in the world. They have no self respect or any type of thought process for the feelings of others. The only thing people like that think about are themselves and how they feel,there wants and needs. I wish every single person on this earth that has ever done that gets put in a single dark cage with no food or water till they starve to death and rid the world of there presence and destruction.