I was a lesbian for 10 years.

I was a lesbian for 10 years.

I was a lesbian for 10 years. I met a man and we got engaged.
I still think I belong with a woman.

I don’t know how to tell him I can’t marry him.

Help

25 Comments on “I was a lesbian for 10 years.

  1.  by  on your side

    you are right. don’t marry him. you will make both of you unhappy eventually. this is hard but if you can’t find the strength to do it for you (break the engagement) then do it for him, give him a chance to move on and find a woman who will feel like she belongs with him. Then take care of you.

  2.  by  Katy

    Sorry that I’m not going to be like “omg you’ll find yer strength! good luck, you’ll be unhappy for the rest of your life if you don’t!” etc. but I have to say that the fact that you haven’t broken it off with him yet, and let yourself become ENGAGED to him is just… so ridiculously selfish. I really, really hope you’re not expecting pity here. Just tell him as soon as you possibly can.

  3.  by  Joy

    What is wrong with you? Get a backbone and speak the TRUTH! If you can’t pledge to love him forever mind body and soul then you don’t marry him. Marriage was created by God! Respect that and your fiancee and end it!

  4.  by  Layla

    I’ve been married for 2 years and I only figured out that I am attracted to woman recently. I love him and don’t want to hurt him but it gets harder to stay every day. Do him a favor and let him go now while you still can. I may never be able to get enough courage to leave. Its will only hurt worse the longer you wait!

  5.  by  merc

    marriage wasnt created by god.
    it was created by humanity, just like taxes and swimming certificates.

    end it with the fiancee.
    both of you go and do your own things.

  6.  by  neveralone

    Do you love him? It may be you’re getting jitters and are afraid you’ll go back unintentionally. You do have to make a choice. You may want to tell him about your past; if he’s missing 10 years of your existence you may want to wait on the marriage. Marriage is commitment, and for anyone that’s human it will take WORK. Good luck making your choice, and I hope you find he’s worth it.

  7.  by  Kate

    If you’re not in love with him then DON’T DO IT!!! It would be so wrong to marry him when in reality you will spend the rest of your life craving a woman. It’s not just mean to do to him, it is cruel to torture yourself like that!

  8.  by  aguy

    Just talk to the fiance. Maybe you can work it out somehow. Maybe you can get yourself into a poly relationship and have both a man and a woman??? You must be attracted to guys too though if you have been able to get this far with a man.

  9.  by  random person

    I think my gf is bi, I’m actually pretty sure. It kills me because we were really in love and now she doesn’t seem interested in me anymore. I have asked her if I could do anything and she says it’s fine

  10.  by  Katy

    @random person,
    if she’s bi then that would mean she’s attracted to men too. maybe the relationship is just dying on it’s own and she’s just not interested in you for other reasons! i hope it all works out for you though ):

  11.  by  fuckyourself

    Well, just be like this…
    “i want me some pussy.”

  12.  by  Helen

    I stayed with a guy for a year and a half that was really not much more than a friend to me. I got my affection for him and more “platonic love” mixed up with my relationship needs. When it ended I realized that I hadn’t done him any favours by continuing it. I wasn’t brave enough to end it sooner. It wasn’t fair on either of us.

    If you’re clear, do it when it is time, just make sure you do it!

  13.  by  JustMe

    It’s funny how you say marriage was created by God, when in all actuality, marriage was created when man became civilized enough to create such unions.

    Get your facts straight, and don’t down on her for being insecure. She could have loved him enough to get engaged, but not enough to forget that she still feels more strongly for women than for him. Maybe just saying this secret gave her the strength she needed to break it off.

    No one asked you to judge her for this.

  14.  by  Paila

    Are you some really Christian homophobic idiot? She’s already made her decision that she loves women more, and she really wants to leave him. She’s just wondering how. Be respectful of people’s sexualities.

  15.  by  sapphowasacunt

    Woa, what’s the dilemma here? What is there to contemplate? There is no alternative but to break it off with him. I don’t know how to put it delicately, so I won’t: you sound like a total bitch. Do the guy a favor and break it off before you do any more harm.

    (Though I have to say, it’s hard for me to sympathize with a guy who would propose to a broad who was “a lesbian” for 10 years. I’m tempted to say he had it coming. Let this be a lesson to all the men out there: chicks who have been in lesbian relationships might be OK for a roll in the hay, but they are not marriage material. And ladies: once you go dyke, we don’t want you back.)

  16.  by  sapphowasacunt

    Where on earth did you get the idea that this poster is a Christian or that he hates queers? It’s not even implied in anything he wrote. Defensive much?

    He makes a valid point. If this fickle broad was as sure of her sexuality as you seem to think she is, then why did she get engaged to him in the first place? If she doesn’t have any feelings for him, why can’t she bring herself to break the engagement off?

    I bet after she breaks it off she’ll spend years agonizing over whether she made the right choice. Yet another fickle broad trying to have her cake and eat it too.

  17.  by  Kate

    Wow, I completely agreed that she was a bitch for marrying this guy but… the last bit? Fuck, you’re a moron.

  18.  by  Caden

    if you do care for his feelings then you should tell him. It will hurt at the time, but if you’re honest he will respect you more than later down the road when he finds out that you lied to him from someone else….

  19.  by  Courtney

    Since when? God didn’t create marriage. But I do think she should end it if she isn’t in love.

  20.  by  Courtney

    Dude. That second half is disgusting. You’re a fuckign moron. My boyfriend loves me and I’m bisexual so I’ve “gone dyke”. You’re not marriage material you self obsessed asshole.

  21.  by  Courtney

    Jesus Christ, I hope you never get married. No one would want to be anywhere near you. You can be primarily one way and fall for one person of the same/opposite gender. Its called the Kinsey Scale, bitch.

  22.  by  breaking heart

    A man doesn’t propose to a woman unless he sees *something* in her, unless she’s got *something.* Ask him what you’ve got that no other woman does. That’s a good place to start. 🙂

  23.  by  maddy

    I’m familiar with this one. Not firsthand, but my mom’s a lesbian and she was with my dad for ten years before she divorced him to leave with her girlfriend. DO NOT GIVE HIM THOSE TEN YEARS. I don’t blame her, not ever, but my dad didn’t get over it – not well anyway. Find your lady and let your man find another.

  24.  by  breaking heart

    @maddy # Getting married is A CHOICE. Falling in love is A CHOICE. Being attracted to someone is also A CHOICE. People need to take responsibility for themselves and their choices; it all begins in your MIND, not something that your heart forces you into. You all are infantile, if you cannot see that. And infants don’t belong in adult relationships.

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