I honestly believe that I am incapable of being faithful
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I feel the EXACT same way.
Atleast I know I’m not alone now.
I’ve always been cynical about love.
If it comes, if its there, I still believe you can “love” someone, but it’s impossible to commit yourself 100% to one person, ever
Wow. I am the exact same.
I’ve now cheated on my last 2 boyfriends twice.
I can’t say no if someone else shows me any sort of interest.
I thought that too for a long time. Then…I realized it was because I simply would never be 100% monogamous. Check out Polyamory, it’s not as horrible as society would lead you to believe. I’ve never been happier.
When you meet the right person, you wont even think about it.
Me either. And I want to feel guilty but I can’t.
I think about cheating on my boyfriend every day…
Some days it’s all I think about.
I cheated on my last boyfriend…
It was intoxicating.
I’m scared to cheat on my boyfriend now…
Because I believe he’s the only one who can truly love me.
i’m the same the only bofriend i hA cheated on was the one i didn’t even like that much. thats 4 boyfriends!! i hate that i can’ t say anything….
Same.
and i try and try to make a relationship work but then i get bored and i become tempted far to easily.
i cant help myself. i hope im not always going to feel this way, ive hurt alot of ppl.
i have never had a problem of committing, but my current girlfriend has the problem. She cheated of her lsat 2 boyfriends, and i feel like shes doing it to me too. She started liking my “best Friend” and now i dont know what to do. I love her, she said that she loves me .. but she cant let “him” go. I cant leave her, but she wont let him go, so i dont know if i should be the one to let her go ….
My girlfriend cheated on me with her bestfriend’s boyfriend and her bestfriend doesnt trust her with her boyfriend in the same place. My girlfriend doesn’t know that I know this but her other bestfriend who witnessed it told me about it. I was very surprised because she always gives me talks about cheating since her father has cheated on her mother before. But now I feel like I should cheat on her just so I wouldnt feel crappy. I will not do that because that’s not the way to fix anything, but I do have to keep it a secret because I’m not supposed to know
You could try sharing her. I can see how it might be awkward, but I’ve seen polyamorous relationships in real life, and it wasn’t too messy. Sometimes complicated, but I haven’t really seen anyone who ended on terrible terms.
Maybe my friend group is different, though.
I second this motion.
No one in real life knows that I’m polyamorous, but that’s mostly because it’s not a big deal in my life. My boyfriend would be fine with me being in a relationship with someone else. There just isn’t anyone else who’s all that interested in me.
And I’m happy anyway, but I’m weird.
I’ve been posting comments whenever I see something related to polyamory, though. There’s so much prejudice against it– I want to fight it.
I thought the same thing after the guy I was supposed to marry who acted like i was everything to him cheated on me from the beginning.. ALOT! I didnt find out for 2 years… after that i never thought i would be faithful since i was in constant fear who i would be with next would cheat! But now 3 years later im engaged and have the most perfect fiance in the world who i know would never do a thing.. i did cheat on him for the first 6 months
then finally realized things dont have to be like that. Thats when i started loving him, and its really amazing. Just establish some self control over yourself and you will be fine!
You want and are afraid to stray because you don’t love him, and part of you wants to find someone you do love. But you’re afraid that no one else will.
Love is not rewarding like it should be if you don’t love them back.
Take the chance, and have the strength and patience to find the one YOU love, and who loves you back. They are out there.
What if you married this person because you thought he was the only one who could ever love you, then meet the love of your life six months later?
It’s happen before.
My boyfriend feels that way. I still trust him wholeheartedly.
But I still dread the day he says “I told you so.”
You’re all fucking losers who are too immature to commit.
I’m afraid of the same thing. I always thought I’d be the loyal girlfriend that falls in love and has a great relationship. But instead, I fall for the guys who treat me like dirt and I’ve broken up with the guys that were really good to me because I wasn’t that attracted to them anymore.
I also just cheated on my now ex-boyfriend with someone who has a reputation for being a player. And because of all this, I feel like a slut.
You people are pathetic.. I’m thirteen, and I think you should all grow the fuck up. Commitment is a beautiful thing when you’re mature enough to handle it.
When you find the one, your one and only, your true love, your soul mate – you shouldn’t have a problem with the temptation of others…not saying you can’t slip up, but it shouldn’t be impossible to be faithful. I too have cheated on a former boyfriend. I’m in my mid twenties, and it’s only happened once. As crazy as it sounds, it never felt like cheating to me…before, during, and after it happened. I knew it was going to happen that day, and I didn’t try to stop it. My heart wasn’t in the relationship…I was still in love with my ex…he has always had my heart, that’s why cheating with him didn’t feel wrong. The current boyfriend even knew I wasn’t over my ex the entire time we dated. I am so against cheating and never in a million years would I, or anyone who knows me – think it was possible for me to cheat on anyone, no matter what the circumstances were. Sure, some may think of me as a horrible person…but I have a good heart, mind, and soul. I know what I did was wrong…even if it doesn’t feel that way in my heart, even to this day. I wouldn’t say the guy I cheated on deserved it, but you shouldn’t get involved with someone who straight up tells you they are not over their ex and continue to talk to them, even in front of you. My life is a mess.
so i’m not alone…..
wow i’m so sorry to hear about that. cheating is one thing. i could forgive my partner if he cheated on me. but HIDING it from you? that is something I could never forgive..
To Dude and @_@.
Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.
Love isn’t always black and white.
Lust is a terrible thing.
Sometimes it overpowers love.
Sometimes it doesn’t.
Maybe one day YOU’LL be unlucky enough to feel the temptation of lust over love.
I honestly hope it breaks you, just a little bit, of the habit of judging others for what they see as either their weaknesses, or just for their way of life.
If there’s anyone on this forum who should “grow up”, it’s the two of you.
Live and let live.
This forum was built on relating to people and trying to heal yourselves by letting go of secrets that fester inside yourselves. Giving yourself a release you otherwise wouldn’t get.
Don’t belittle the message by tearing down what little solace someone has with your hateful words and narrowminded ideals.
@_@ You’re 13 years old, how long could you have possibly been committed to someone, a month? Maybe when you’re a little older and more experienced, you can start giving people advice on growing up and commitment. You don’t know their situation, so you shouldn’t be quick to judge.
I hope you know you ARE NOT the only one.
I don’t feel as if i’m the only one now.
i think about it everyday too.
and i kissed another guy a couple of weeks ago, yet i still love my boyfriend. i feel guilty and times but then i don’t. i’m too scared to tell him because he might leave me because i believe he’s the only one who can truly love me too.
I know how you feel… I’m glad to know it’s not just me.
wow…
i just realized i felt like this.. i didnt want to notice it..
but i cheated on the person i love the most.. why why why why…. after i got cheated on and that guy even got the girl pregnant… i just gave up on everything…. and i dated alot not trying to find anything serious but i keept finding people who cared for me and grew to love me. sadly i hurt them by lettin them go but i just didnt feel like i could love again.. and now 3 1/2 years since i got cheated on im in the BEST RELATIONSHIP of my life he is devoted to me.. n loves me n treats me like the only one! but i cheated on him! is it cause last guy i loved did it to me.. i feel like he will to????
then you probably are. but there are options to make it okay because everyone is aware of it and no one in the relationship has to get hurt. Polyamory, open relationships. communication is key
I have never been faithful to any of the men I’ve dated. Then again, I’ve never loved any of them either.
Weird that that is the one picture I have saved on my computer from two years ago and that was the secret I was going to post.
so you wait until you find someone who loves you or shows some interest like flirting or sex and then you want to let your boyfriend go but then you stop and think he has alot in a guy that i want that this other guy doesnt’t have and i can’t take that chance and lose what i got now.. and i don’t want to hurt him.. so you see if it’s worth losing by cheating hoping you don’t get caught and it eats you up because you know your doing the wrong thing but who cares right.. no one understands but you.. i could go on and on.. i did something like that.. i kissed another man because i found out my boyfriend was cheating.. and yet i let him use me over and over.. life is strange..
And you’re a dumbass!
I agree completely!
My boyfriend and I are polyamorous. We couldn’t be happier. Since we are both naturally this way, it clears the air between us because we can freely discuss others we are attracted to and might be interested in pursuing a relationship with. The freedom of space brings us so much closer together
Makes me just a little bit sick to hear that… for a start incapable just wreaks of stupidity. Its a choice to be faithful. If you honestly cant then you have serious problems. not wanting to, or using ‘incapable’ as an excuse to justify cheating is probably more like it.
I really dont care how many people you wanna sleep with but to be dishosnest and decieve and hurt people is just so very wrong.
i completely agree with this.
ive been dating my boyfriend for almost a year, and i love him so much, but the thought of sneaking around with other people is a thrill for me. i dont want to break up with him, and if he even talks to another girl i flip shit. but its just nice having someone there all the time, i really think thats the only reason i stay with him. ive broken up with him numerial times, but i just go back to him cause i cant break his heart/
i understand.
Ugh. THEN STAY SINGLE! Stop being so fucking cowardly and make up your damn mind. Be in a relationship, stay in it. If you can’t do it. Break it off. Or don’t be in one at all. It’s that simple instead of ruining someone else life during the processes of your damn schemes.If you can be so courages to go to another man/woman during a relationships. Why the hell is it so hard for you to break it off with the one who truly cares for you. O.o right. Because your pathetic!
I thought I met the right person, and yet I still cheat, every week, every opportunity. Maybe I am just insecure and enjoy the attention or I am simply just to gutless to let go, give it all up and be single.
It’s OK to feel that you can’t be monogamous, but be honest about it with the one(s) you’re with.
The whole “I’m incapable” excuse is lame. You’re a person, presumably an adult. You can make your own choices.
i feel the same way…i tell myself i want to be faithful, that i can and will be faithful, but when it comes down to it i can’t say no… i’m glad i’m not the only one
I want nothing more than to be in an absolutely exclusive relationship with a certain person. I would never even LOOK at another man, I love him so much. I wouldn’t even care if he had prosthetic legs, all the way to his hips, and had a bad comb-over and a big potbelly and only one eye.
NonMonogamy!!
I will never have only 1 partner… I’ve been a swinger for 6 years… and could not fathom having sex witht he same person for the rest of my life
and I am proud!
@ MJ:
If you are so proud, why didn’t you post your full name? Huh, “genius”?
Maybe you’re not a whore, but that doesn’t make you an even slightly noble person. Skank!
OOoh big words… and Im sure breaking heart is your full name… whatever… It is closed minded people like you who whine and bitch that your never happy… call me a whore, call me a skank… but I call myself fuckin satisfied
and noble or not… you dont know me… you have no idea what kind of a person I am so really what kind of closed minded biggot are you… OH RIGHT, someone who makes assumptions about other people and their sexuality, morals and values.
@ MJ
I’m not the jerk who is proud of being a cheater. Since you are, it would make sense for you to post your full name.
You will eventually find that your life has been very UNsatisfying.
I’m not close-minded, but I am careful about not letting crap get in.
I am actually NOT a bigot, and I don’t make gross assumptions about people’s morals, etc…I just pay more attention than you clearly care to.
It’s not that I’m unhappy — YOU are the one who is unhappy.
In Italian: fine.
WOW Breaking Heart, You are a real Genius huh… do you know what a swinger is? this is something my husband and I do together, because it is something that enhances our sex life, I am not cheating nor is he, as we both are very well aware what we are doing, and with whom. We are not having sex with other people behind our partners backs… which is what cheating is genius…. do some research before you make assumptions about what swinging is..
I am very very happy with my life thank you
Actually, MJ, swinging IS cheating. Swingers and those with otherwise “open” marriages are equally as guilty of cheating as those who sneak around and try to cover their tracks. It is equally a form of infidelity, and just as equally a form of adultry. I do nut make ignorant assumptions. And while you may be VERY sexually satisfied, you clearly have never known true happiness.
Learn a few musical terms. “Fine” means The End. Here, as well as in my last posting, it means “The End of the conversation, damn bitch.”
FINE.
LOL… FINE…