I want to tell my family that I'm bisexual, but I know that if I do they will be ashamed of me.
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so tell them is there shame worth more then being who really believe you are shame and anger and guilt all slowly subside and allow room for acceptance. A lived with secrets and lies is no life lived be true to your self not fearful of being judged other wise you will live in fear for ever because someone’s always judging us
you are the one who knows your family and your desire to tell them. If it means a lot for you to tell them and endure their reaction, you need to do it and see what happens. You could be surprised.. or not. But sometimes, you have to do what you have to do… and family… well… you don’t choose family…you don’t choose being bisexual either. Best wishes to you.
Look, life is too short for you to worry about what other people think about you. I understand that they are your family and their opinion means alot too you but you have to be true to your self. If they don’t like it thats their problem. You are going to have to realize that its your life and no one else can live it for you, not even your family. so live life to the fullest because it worth it. Take if from someone who is bisexual too!!!!!!!!
i know it’s hard but is this how you always want to live your life. it was hard for me to and my parents weren’t to happy but i felt a sense of relief that i didn’t have to hide anymore. it takes a long time and some of my friends won’t even talk to me but it only shows who really cares in the end
Being out is wonderful, but don’t let your sexuality define who you are and how you or others see yourself. You are still you, with or without a label on your sexuality. I was incredibly lucky with my family, and knew that my dad had gay friends in college and my mom has a gay best friend. Hopefully your family will be as accepting and won’t define you by who you love. My thoughts are with you.
I’m in the exact same situation. Except I have a boyfriend.
I would actually give different advice… I’m bisexual (technically pansexual), and I told my mother so when I was fourteen. I’m nearly twenty, and she’s just barely getting used to it. She still wants me to keep it quiet. She’s still happier with me when I have a boyfriend. She lied to my father to tell him that I’m not really bi, because he was…not happy…with it.
If you’re willing to go through such possibilities until you get out of their house, go ahead. If you’re out of their house and an adult, go ahead. But sometimes — just sometimes — the closet is actually safer.
It’s up to you, though, and not anonymous voices like myself on the internet.
I hope that things work out for you.
I’ve had this same problem for five years.
I have been for a few years. My family sucks though and thought I was joking so I played along…all 5 times I said it. Since I was raised Christian, in every bible, including the ones at my house and friends houses, I rip out the page about gay people and burn it. Sad thing is my boyfriend believes we are perfect for eachother when really, i’m just with him because the girl I fell in love moved away and I’m waiting for her to come back.
i can totally relate. I hinted at the fact to my family and they said they’d disown me, so now I don’t even approach the subject of any relationship. But I’ve come to the conclusion that when I decide to settle down no matter who it’s with it’ll be for my happiness not theirs. it is your life.
When I was 7, I scissored a girl more than once and I liked it.
Why do you need to tell them about your sex life at all?
Could it be that on some level, you enjoy the idea of shocking them?
I told my mom. She didn’t react well.
I’m bisexual. I can’t tell my family cause they’re muslims which I’m not..
Only 5 of my friends know and they took it very well. I love them and I think I’m so lucky to have them.
K:
I can appreciate how awful it feels to be the black sheep. I am treated horribly all the time by church people in every church I’ve ever been to…but it’s wrong to destroy people’s scriptures. There are tons of things that I have done, and do, which Scripture says are absolutely abhorred by the Almighty, and even though I can easily defend my actions, oftentimes quite justly, I don’t get to choose what God finds acceptable or unacceptable. He is my Maker, so I do not get to choose what is right and what is wrong. If I was in charge, there would be a whole lot more unpardonable and unforgivable sins than just denying the Holy Ghost and shedding innocent blood, respectively – but even I am glad I am not in charge.
I hope your family loves and accepts you in your entirety, and loves and accepts whomever you share the rest of your life with. God bless you, always.
I know this can be the most difficult thing in the world to do. I’m 20, I’m bisexual, and I went through this about 6 months ago. If you’re pretty sure your parents will accept you, go ahead and tell them. If you’re not, definitely wait until you’re out of the house and living on your own/at college. Remember to be open and honest about who you are. Answer their questions with maturity.
If you need ammunition, point out that the fact you’re bisexual doesn’t mean you have to go around wearing a flaming purple triangle on your shirt. Your sexuality doesn’t define you as a person.
It gets better, trust me: I have my first date with a guy tomorrow night.
You guys ever consider that, because one’s sexuality is PERSONAL, you should keep it to YOURSELF? When you find The One, introduce them to your family in pride and joy, and tell them how LUCKY you feel to have found someone who makes you SO HAPPY. And if you can’t do that, consider that maybe you’re not really bi because you need to GROW A PAIR!
@Anonymous:
Pansexual, huh? So that means you’ll “f” anything in your path, right? “Anything” meaning: men, women, boys, girls, pets, animals in the wild…maybe even livestock, if the mood strikes you? That’s disgusting, and the word “sick” does not accurately describe that brand of deviance. It’s evil. Abusing children is far more evil than anything you can do to an animal, because they are innocent people, devoid of both guile and malice, whereas, at least mankind was given dominion over animals (although it’s super-nasty to lie with alligators, etc.). You’re quite crude. I sincerely hope someone civilizes you, and quick.
And, like, do NONE of you guys realize that it was ultimately YOUR DECISION to become such?? You were not “born that way;” you made a choice, based on your experiences and your responses to your experiences. I very much am aware that I choose to be straight, everyday of my life, and even if I am alone forever, I am proud to know that it is because I refuse to be non-selective and just grab at whoever is willing to “f” me. I am deserving of The Very Best, and The Very Best does not come along every day. My sweetheart and I are taking things slow, and I’m not always crazy about it, but I won’t screw people casually while I’m not with him because that wouldn’t be fair to him. He, also, does not believe in casual sex, and I love the way he articulates it; he is absolutely right: “terribly inconvenient” for reasons I hope each of you discover for yourselves, by NOT engaging in casual sex (SO not worth the effort involved). God bless each of you, and may you learn to take responsibility for your own life, and accept accountability for your own decisions.
I have the same problem. I’m somewhere between bi and pansexual and I want to come out to my family, but I’m not sure how they’d take out. And right now, my girlfriend is the only thing that’s keeping me stable. I can’t risk losing her to anything.
Sexuality isn’t a choice, and it’s about more than just sex; it’s about love. You’ll know when the time is right to tell someone. Best of luck to you.
Sexuality is very much a choice. Anyone who says differently is too immature to be willing to accept accountability for their decisions. What a bunch of rotten, sad-sacked, selfish, self-made bastards.