I have not loved you in over two years. I only did it because I was pregnant.
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i am in the exact same boat, but i lost the baby at 5 months, and stayed with him cuz i was sad and lonely and selfish.
I’m in the same boat- I was about to leave him when I got pregnant. Now I’m married to him, and we’re trying for another baby. I don’t love him, but I don’t want to be with anyone else, either. I want my daughter to have one full sibling close to her age because I never did. And I’ve always felt alone. I still do.
I just had a little girl. She is two months old now. Right before I got pregnant I was going to move back to my hometown, and leave her father, but for some reason I stayed for two more weeks, and in those two weeks I conceived. I believe everything happens for a reason, but I am unhappy with her father, although he is so great to her, I just don’t feel love from or for him anymore. I don’t know what to do.
My son is almost a year and a half, and I haven’t loved my fiance in…I don’t even know how long. I tried so hard to convince myself that I did, and in some ways I still do even to the point of getting married next year. The only reason I’m alright with having a small wedding is because 1.) I want one day in my entire life to have an excuse to wear a gorgeous dress and 2.) we don’t have to spend a lot of money on the whole event which won’t make me feel as guilty when I eventually leave him.
Whenever that will be…
I simply adore my son, but it’s like I gave birth to a child with a roommate. I cry when I think of how much I miss what “love” felt like…
im so scared this will happen to me…
i dont want kids in case i fall out of love with him after we’re married.
i feel that this is one of the saddest things i have ever read. it brings tears to my eyes.
i dont think there is anything anyone can do, but my heart goes out to you.
i hope you find happiness in your children.
that is incredibly selfish. sure, every girl wants that special day where they get to wear the most beautiful dress in the world. but surely it isnt worth all the hassle of divorce. wouldnt it be much wiser to leave him now, and try to find someone that reminds you what “love” felt like? also, its not fair to him. you aren’t being honest.
It’s extremely simple for you to type out the answer to my problems — and whomever else’s you’re feeling particularly wise about — from behind your computer. He’s not exactly a saint himself, but it isn’t necessary to go through an entire history of financial, economical, and emotional details with someone who is going to think it’s selfish no matter what happens.
I’d rather live life for my child than for a lover (spouse, significant other, bf/gf, etc).
I feel like this secret was posted for me.. I have a 2 year old and now a newborn, I feel as if I haven’t loved my husband since I got pregnant with my 2 year old. I’ve asked him for a divorce but he doesn’t believe in divorce. I just miss the way we used to feel about each other but all we do is fight.
I have never loved my wife. We’ve been together for 11 years and built a wonderful life. I regret everything, and I regret nothing.
You are such total putzes! I would give almost anything to be able to conceive and have a healthy baby.
Everyone here seems to think that staying together for the children and pretending like everything it happy, will be good for the children. First of all I am a firm believer that people can only be good parents when they are emotionally healthy and happy. Secondly, children are very preceptive and pick up on things we don’t intend them to. I’m not saying children will exactly realize that their parents don’t love one another, but maybe they will notice a certain lack of closeness which can negatively affect them in many ways. For instance, children understand how to have relationships with the opposite sex from their parents, so is staying together in a dysfunctional relationship really better than divorce?
As a comment to the previous comment, my ex-boyfriend’s parents were unhappy in their relationship much of the time, and it really screwed him over for his image of relationships. We ended up breaking up not because we had any personal issues with one another, we’re still close friends, but rather we realized that my expectations for a relationship, having grown up with two parents who are (almost) always respectful of each other and totally devoted to one another and what he was able to give having only seen the relationship of his parents, who are unwilling to compromise even a little, set us up to two completely different standards. It made us incompatible. Sometimes I wonder if they had divorced if it would have been better for him in the long run because the fighting, and the situation he has been in for so long has completely screwed up his ideas of healthy relationships.
@ Lora#
Leave him, and try suing for divorce. There IS a way to get out of an unhappy marriage. I honestly don’t recommend taking out a hit on him, but there ARE ways to get out of a horrible marriage.
Alternately, you COULD try doing something really thoughtful for him, everyday before he wakes up. Maybe polish his shoes, or write him a nice note in the fog on your bathroom mirror after you shower, that he will find when he gets out of his shower. Something that he may not notice at first, but you will know that you have done it for him, and that will make you love him, and you will see yourselves fighting less. The littlest things can make a huge difference.
no one is perfect… and emotions sometimes can be the hardest thing to controll.. i almost burst out into tears after reading this post card because i am in this situation currently… I have a 3 year old daughter with my first love.. we were together for almost 5 years. our breakup was absoulutely terrible. its been about 2 years and it still mourn us. he was a desease for me however.. … so when i met my current boyfriend, he seemed like the medication i needed to heal me heart.. he put on a great show.. thaught about getting married in the future.. things were great for a while.. but all the sudden he changed into someone completely different.. i couldnt connect with him anymore.. i decided i was goin to leave him.. i cared for him alot so it was a hard decision but i wasnt happy anymore.. the day i went to look for a new place to live i found out i was pregnant… i never wanted children by differnt men.. and i am mad at myself for not being more careful.. i will love this baby.. but i dont want to have to do it alone..