Post Secret Archive

i love u and am too afraid to tell u…i think u likes me…and to avoid breaking our friendship…i push u away, hurt u on purpose

I love my boyfriend with all my being and more. I’ve known him for 6 years and have like him for most of that time. I’m so happy we are finally dating. I don’t know what I would do without him. But i have a friend who i think I like. And when we hang I just want to kiss him and stuff. I hate it. And I end up hurting myself every time the thoughts pop into my head. At the moment the knuckles on my right hand are bruised from punching metal screen doors and plastic siding to my friends house. The pain distracts me from the thoughts. I don’t want to break up with my boyfriend and I don’t want to stop being friends with my friend. It’s soo retarded.
I don’t know what to do.

i can be myself around everyone, except my family.

My dad left a year ago,
even though i say i hate him
i can’t stop thinking of how
he is doing.

I never needed anyome before and the person i need so much i could lose at any moment.

I don’t love you anymore. I just didn’t want to be called a coward.

Its been two years and i still think about you everyday. I wish I could take it back and Im so sorry. I will never stop loving you.

i don’t know who i am or who i want to be.
but everytime you try to change me i bitch about it.
but really, i wish i was like you sometimes. not in your personality, or your friends, or anything like that.
being popular doesn’t interest me.
rather, i wish i was like you because you seem to know exactly who you are.
i really don’t know.
i have no opinions, no morals, no faither.
i have nothing.
i have no dad, no boyfriend, no best friends.
even though you believe that you are mine, i really don’t like you sometimes.
and i’m still call you my best friend because i’m afraid if i lose you i’ll miss you, just like everyone else that i’ve dropped over the years.

i wish i had an eating disorder, because i really relate to people who do.
but i always give up and decide i just diserve to be fat and ugly.
then i cut.

i fell in love with a guy for 3 years.
then he told me he was gay & he is.
i hate his ugly boyfriend
and i think about stephen everyday.
i hate what his uncle did to him.
and for some reason i cant seem to get over
how perfedt we could have been
and that was 5 years ago.

i am a prominent member in my youth group.
a straight A student.
involved in every aspect of school and family.
i have the greatest friends and call myself a Christian

everyone thinks i”ve got the perfect life.

but
i’ve masturbated and looked at porn
since the seventh grade

no one knows.

Just everybody’s fool, aren’t i? Never lived up to what my parents wanted, never proved the teachers wrong. Never had a guy really love me and say he cared. I have friends but they know nothing about me, they don’t see when I’m crying and hurt or when I’m happy. My one best friend, the only true one. She saved my life twice, and now she doesn’t even notice when I’m around or if I’m even alive. And she’s so happy without me while I’m crying my eyes out. I’m lost and I can’t find away to feel like a human again… </3

When I was four, my dad told me he was picking me up from pre school one day. I whined and told him I wanted my mom to pick me up. He looked a little sad, but agreed. He died of a heart attack that year. I never got to say goodbye. I regret the day I pushed him away for my mom.

I’m a girl, who likes watching gay porn ( males), but I think I’m sexually attracted to women… I’m so confused

I’m a good student, I get good grades, I always listen every seems to like me and think I’m so smart. But for whatever reason I feel like I’m afraid I’ll never get into college, I feel like a failure I don’t want to dissappoint every one who think so highy of me… But I’m afraid I’ll fail… I’m deathly afraid of being a failure, of being nothing, I’m afraid of failing everybody.

I have a boyfriend that I met online… I’ve never seen him in person but I lied to my parents went they found out about him, and said he used to live around us. Am I pathetic? Iove this guy so much and I really want to be togther.

you’re 21 and im 16. you say that we shouldnt be together, but that didnt seem to matter the day you told me you loved me.
i still blame myself for what i said that day, because i believe that if that didnt happen, we would still be together.
i open our msn chat window everyday hoping magically it’ll blink in orange and tell me you jsut wrote me something, perhaps you telling me you still love me.
i still miss your drunken calls and i wish you would still do them.
i wish you were in beijing during your semester instead of shanghai, then everything would have been okay.
i still tell myself everyday you meant the things you said because i cant bare to think it was another one of your lies.
if i had to do this all over again, i would.

my Fiancee cheated on me.
the same night i found out my Sister died of alcohol poisoning.

he told me 3 days later

after her FUNERAL.

my dad cheated on my mom for 12 years (with different women)
including the 2 years they were together before they were married.

i have Always had this nagging feeling deep inside that i am not the oldest child by my father.

i feel so angry and sad that he won’t just tell me the truth that i already know in my heart.

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a disappointment.